My dad has cancer

Welcome to the online community and I'm sorry to hear the reasons why you found your way to the forum, this really is the club that no one wants to join.

It is perfectly normal for you to have emotion days receiving news like you have received is a tremendous shock to a person and we all cope with it in different ways.

Being the eldest sibling doesn't mean you have to be the rock for others and putting on a brave face, if you are trying to be strong for the other two who is you rock, do you have someone to turn to when you are feeling emotional and need support, I would suggest that you share your feeling with the other two, it could be that they are doing the same thing and shielding each other when you should be sharing your concerns and emotion together it is maybe a time to have a threesome heart to heart.

Trying to put someone's finances in order can be a difficult task and if left to the last moment can be a nightmare.

You, including your two siblings,  might want to discuss with your dad about setting up a Lasting Power of Attorney with the three of you being executors, this only really kicks in when at any time your dad is unable to make decisions for himself. There are two separate Lasting Power of Attorneys one covers the finance side and the order covers health matters. 

This will tell you more about Lasting Power of Attorney

Now that you've joined Macmillans you can benefit from speaking with our very friendly support team who man telephone Number 0808 808 0000 seven days a week between 8 am and 8 pm and can you a lot of advice about obtaining help and if you phone them Monday  to Friday they maybe able to put you in touch with the various experts who cover all things financial this is a free service and many members have received advice on things they did know about.

The telephone support team are also there to listen to you and don't mind if your emotions get the better of you they will be ready to give that encouraging word that might uplift you.

I see that you have joined our Oesophageal cancer forum group and wonder if this might be the time to think about joining our Supporting someone with incurable cancer forum group and getting to know others in a similar position who will be willing to share their experiences with you.

I'd like to invite you to join our Carers only forum group this is where only carers can into and ask questions and get advice or have a chat but you can also come in and have a rant and rave or you feel the need to do what we all need to do occasionally Let off steam, no one will mind and you'll feel better for doing it.

No matter which of the groups you join you'll find something in common in them all, each one of the members are very friendly and very supportive towards each other.

Please make the decision that you are not a one man band and involve your two siblings in your emotions and your dad's financial affairs. Whilst you are trying to be strong for others if you get ill and unable to cope who will look after you 4 - 8 months is a long time to try and shoulder this on your own when you have others to help you.

Please keep.in touch using the groups and let us know how you are getting on and coping.

Ian 

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