secondary cancer mam

FormerMember over 6 years ago

4 replies
31 subscribers
1159 views

I am new to the group.My Mam who is 80 was diagnosed with secondary lung cancer in June 2017 she has been remarkably well until the past few weeks.I first noticed her speech was really slurred stroke like around 8 weeks ago. She has refused any treatment so just palliative care and up until recently attended a living well centre at our local hospice where she has chosen to stay for end of life care.

Every day of the past two weeks she has rapidly deteriorated her speech is now incoherent and she is confused and sleeping a lot. She had a head scan Monday and hoping to get results today which I suspect will tell us that it’s spread to her brain hence the speech and confusion.

She was prescribed steroids yesterday and doctor is visiting today.

I feel helpless and have no idea from day to day what to expect.

I suppose what I really want to know is is this the beginning of the end for my brave beautiful Mam?

i feel tearful and consumed with it all and really need to stay strong as her main carer.

Sharon

FormerMember over 6 years ago

I am so sorry to hear about your mum. Your love for her shines through in what you’ve written here.

I’m really not sure how to answer your question. I know from being with my mother through her last months, weeks and days as she died of cancer that there were times that she rallied and then a time that she slid slowly towards a peaceful end. In my experience, the hospice nurses know the difference and maybe they are the people to whom you should turn?

Staying strong for her means looking after yourself. You need to take a break from time to time and accept the offers of help that I hope are coming from friends and family at this difficult time. Just say “yes” when you’re offered a helping hand.

Mine is just one perspective and experience. I hope it will help to find others and realise you are not alone. Can I suggest you join the group in this community Supporting Someone with Incurable Cancer? It’s a group for people like you who are caring for a friend or relative who is reaching the end of life

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/nearing_the_end/

Wishing you all the best as you travel this road with your mum.

Xxx

FormerMember over 6 years ago in reply to FormerMember

thank you so much for your response it was really kind and informative I will be joining a few groups on here to get the best support possible

regards

sharon

papermoon over 6 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Hi Daloni Kate here I left the site recently and can't reinstate so now under papermoon. I've sent a friend request because I need to email you urgently sorry I'm all fingers and thumbs.

FormerMember over 6 years ago in reply to papermoon

Ok! I got your friend request and have accepted it. You sound panicked?