I did it my way

I’m best  at support this way.

Love this 

My recent scare has once again highlighted some fair weather friends, but a couple of others have stepped into the breach and I'm so grateful for that.

Any one of the challenges you're facing would be overwhelming for some people, but to have so many life changing events thrown at you all at once is unimaginable. It's a miracle you're able to manage anything at all.

It's also a miracle that you make time to support and encourage all of us, and I'm very grateful for that too.

xx

‘S First of all... pleased to meet you dizzie-wh. I’ve just come home after spending the entire afternoon with my hospice nurse.  It was a long meeting and it felt good. She has noticed my weight loss. I didn’t realised how much weight I have lost. Another thing we spoke about was my state of mind. I told her about finance struggles and everything. She gave me a new DNR. And a advance planning that I have to fill in. I’ve agreed to day therapy again. There is a wait list on some of it. But I need the hospice and I feel better for it.

Johnty you have always been a big supporter of hospices. So maybe that’s the right direction. 

Tvman. Through the hospice I got a MacMillan grant for a new washing machine and tumble dryer. So I doubt MacMillan can financially give me any more financial support. It’s good to hear from you Tvman. I’m on shift tonight for the homeless and will be every night taking me into two weekends, a total of 9 nights. I’m so tired. I’m going to have to cut back on the volunteering to fewer nights for my health. I’m getting out of breath more, especially when I eat a main meal. I’m struggling always with eating a main course. But you are correct about being caught between a rock and a hard place. I have to choose either to continue to struggle with the commute to see my mum or cut the commute and start getting depressed if I don’t see her. So it’s Hobson’s choice. I need my mum. I’m considering selling some of my painting online. Etsy charge too much. Not much profits there. There is a site that lets me keep a bigger percentage. It will allow me to sell other crafts too. Today has been a good day. I feel so much better for having been to the hospice.

Tinalay. You are not a fair weather friend, none of you are. You all have touched my heart. Due to Homealone and Johnty, I couldn’t walk away, I care too much. And maybe I didn’t walk away because the bigger part of me was still hanging on to the lifeline you have become. It’s going to be hard. I’m finding the end of life group difficult. Because we know we are saying goodbye and we don’t want to. Let me tell you something.... as I was leaving the hospice I suddenly noticed the first snowdrops I’ve come across this year. You may think me mad but I said hello Tessa, thank you for being here in spirit today. I hope you have peace. And Tessa when you get to heaven, please let me know by ringing the bell! The sun suddenly came out. I don’t care if anyone thinks I’m mad.

Dear Jane, it has taken me two days to reply to this as I cannot think of the appropriate words, I think that all of the others have said it for  me. I admire your bravery and honesty and want to thank you for the care and support you have shown us. I am so glad you and your lovely husband have found peace, I know you may not agree but I believe I will meet you one day, in the meantime I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers. Yo are loved and will be missed. With much love Pat xx

Dear Sue,

I am sorry to hear your news and want you to know that you will be in my prayers and thoughts. Thank you for your honesty and bravery, I look forward to meeting yo on the other side! With love from Pat xx

Hi Johnty and Skalia

I wanted to add my thoughts are with you and your family and friends.

Thank you to you both for the support and cheer you have given me through even the roughest times. This post has, as usual, given me the slight kick up the ass I need to embrace things, even when you feel knocked down.