Priyanka was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer at the age of 36 in 2022. Priyanka lives in Aylesbury, with her husband, Manoj and two daughters, Keya and Shriyana who were 4 years old and 2 years old at the time of the diagnosis. Priyanka is a qualified teacher. Since, being diagnosed with cancer, she has gone on to become a life coach for children, supporting them through life’s challenges. Also, a published author, Priyanka has penned a heartfelt children’s book, When Mummy Had Cancer.
Your world falls apart when you hear the words, you have cancer. Mine did too! You automatically think it’s a death sentence. When you have two young children, it’s terrifying.
My first reaction was, what will happen to my girls? I want to be there to see them grow up. Experience their firsts, celebrate their achievements and be a part of reaching those milestones.
I knew I had to change my mindset. With the support of my family and reading F**k you Cancer by Deborah James, I was able to do just that. But it’s not easy, the not knowing and the uncertainties made this period so difficult and how do you explain to two young children what’s going on.
My husband and I decided to tell both girls, what we knew so far. With the aid of a book called Mummy’s lump, which was given to us by the breast care nurses we explained the process. Of course, Shriyana was too little to understand anything we had just read to her, but Keya surprised us. She understood everything we had just read to her. Having had the morning to process everything, she started asking questions over lunch. “Mummy, I don’t want your hair to fall out”. That was hard to hear and a promise I couldn’t make to her.
As weeks went by, it was time to start treatment. Six rounds of chemotherapy, and surgery a month after finishing chemotherapy. However, a week before starting my first round of chemotherapy, Shriyana and Manoj tested positive for Covid, soon we all tested positive and chemotherapy had to be delayed by two weeks.
Finally, the time had come, my first round of chemotherapy, two days before our 7th wedding anniversary.
Keya was keen to see what would happen and how it would happen. The nurses were great, down at the unit, and allowed her to come and see the equipment and answer any of her questions. This put her mind at ease, slightly. But as weeks progressed, we started to notice a change in her behaviour and found it very difficult to support her, especially when nobody knew what to expect.
Hair was falling out in clumps, and I made the very tough choice of shaving it off. I knew this was going to be tough on Keya. She was already unhappy with me for not being able to take her to the park or to parties and spend quality time with her, so I didn’t know how she would react. Shriyana saw my bald head and asked me if I had a haircut and carried on with her morning routine. Keya on the other hand was not taking it too well. We sat on the sofa and had a good cry before I had to be taken to A&E for a spike in temperature.
My last chemotherapy was a few days before Keya’s 5th birthday. Unfortunately, we had to cancel plans for having a big birthday party with her school friends due to the risk of catching an infection or Covid, again, before surgery. Instead, we had a family get together, celebrating her 5th birthday and my 37th birthday.
My surgery date was set for the 1st December, the night before, I put up the Christmas tree up and decorated the house in the hope that this would be a distraction. We thought it was best we did not tell the girls where I was and tried to cover up my hospital stay but there was no point. Even though the weekend was packed with Christmasy outings and spending time with family they still wondered where I was and eventually figured out that I was in hospital. . They were so happy to see me home and wanted to do what ever they could to help me get around and make me comfortable. They took great care of me.
We were all looking forward to flying to Geneva to get away from everything that had unfolded in the past months and spend time with family during the Easter holidays. However, plans changed, and we spent the 2 weeks going back and forth to the hospital to complete fifteen rounds of radiotherapy sessions. The girls would argue who would come with us to the hospital, this was upsetting but their highlight was coming along so that they could play with the Lego at The Maggies Centre, because the Lego at home was not good enough.
My oncologist and breast care nurses encouraged me to take some time away with the family after radiotherapy and before starting the last and final treatment. So, we booked a one week cruise, which was so needed and the girls really enjoyed having some quality family time.
Then I started my last and final treatment, eight rounds of oral chemotherapy. Sounds easy taking tablets but it was hard. Giving up diary was a challenge since I love cheese. But as I finished my last round, we really looked forward to celebrating with a cheese fondue!
We almost forget that our children are very much a part of this journey and their emotions play a big part of it. It is a juggling act being a cancer patient and a parent. It was during this time, that I started writing, which has now become a published picture book, When Mummy Had Cancer to support families talk about cancer more easily because everyone’s emotions need to be validated.
We’d like to thank Priyanka for sharing her story and we hope you have found support from hearing her family’s lived experiences. Leave a message of support in the comment box below.
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