Hi everyone,
It's been a while. I'm awaiting results of CT scan which was done yesterday after a lot of messing about. I've been self isolating for years on and off due to chemo and surgery etc, so at least had some training for this crazy situation we are all in now. I'm mentally and emotionally at a low ebb, crying all the time. All members of family in lockdown abroad, an old, at risk mother I can't go near. I found myself angry at the hospital at people now receiving expert care, mentally and physically while cancer patients have been doing this for years already. Nine hour long appointments, mistakes, forgotten tests, administration mistakes etc..People are only in lockdown a few weeks getting a taste of it. Maybe that is my resentment, then I just become overwhelmed with sadness, then anger again. I think i have accepted my diagnosis and then this fight comes back, and I almost don't want it, but hope never dies. I feel so alone inside this morning. Whether people are far away or right beside me, it's a journey I walk alone and I'm so tired today. Sorry for the moaning. I hope everyone is OK and safe. I'm very grateful to be alive at all, but this hurts so deep.
Virtual hugs to all my fellow travelers.
Kate. xxx
