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Hi Megan,

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum. My Mum was diagnosed in July 08 with colon cancer which had already spread to a number of her bones. Mum had been having chemo up until December, but since new year has taken quite a turn for the worst. Were told at start of January Mum only had weeks left. It is very hard to deal with, but since coming on here I've realised we are far from alone. This site has helped me loads so far.

Since we found out Mum's diagnosis I've been off work looking after her. My advice is to do what you feel is right for you. I've enjoyed going shopping trips, going for lunch and watching girlie films with Mum- in between all the treatments. Mum is now comfortable and not in pain, and that's the most important thing.

I have my fair share of good, not so good and really bad days - but if you're feeling down, there's normally someone on here who can pick you back up again.

Take care,
Audrey x

Hi Megan

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. I was only 23 when my mum died, so I know how difficult this is for you. If your mum has a Macmillan nurse, get in touch and ask her to get you some help. You should be able to get a few sessions with a nurse therapist to talk things over with. I think we areall a bit reluctant at first to talk or to have counselling, but many people find it very beneficial. Other than that, I hope you can still spend some good time with your mum like Audrey says. Do as much as you can together, talk, laugh, cry whatever. Your time with her is precious
Sending big hugs
HarryB x x

I'm new to this, don't usually use this type of medium to express what I want to say so I apologise if it isn't in keeping with the rest of the discussion, I can't find where I should start from.

My husband (53) was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer in september 08, he was told at first he could have an op and all would be well - wonderful. Then he had a PET can prior to op - sorry you can't have an op you have a 2nd tumour a little higher up and we can't remove that much tissue. Lets try Chemo - he had 3 lots of EOX then a scan, sorry it's not worked. What now? The options are 5FH or a research programme. He opted for 5FH, he should have his next scan around easter time. I don't know how he will cope if it doesn't work out this time. Radio will only keep him comfortable and not cure him.

Could there be anything else out there?
wifeofsufferer

Hi jockdawn

So sorry to hear of your husband's diagnosis. Only you can decide what is the right thing to do. If you give up work, it will obviously reduce your income, so have you looked for the benefits you can claim? You can ask your Macmillan nurse to sort out the benefits for you, or you can look on the Get Support tab at the top of this page and EDIT* go down page r/h side to financial help, and download the booklet.* If your husband's d/x is terminal, there is more help available usually. I should think you will get DLA at the higher rate, there may be other payments you are entitled to, such as carers allowance.
If your husband and has any private pensions, depending on the length of his prognosis, you may be able to draw them out in a lump sump if you need to.

This is a great site with lots of support. It is helpful to talk with people who are suffering similar problems, so welcome even tho the reasons for being here are obviously very sad. I hope you find friendship and support.

Love & hugs HarryBarb x x