Having a bad day

Morning all 

Hope everyone is having a ok start to the day. I would just like to say what a strong devoted group of people you are. Reading your posts has given me strength to know as long as I do my best for my husbands journey through this others will be welcome but not necessary. I had a small sample of how it go's with some families when my mam had a brush with the beast a few years ago. My husband is in a different place than mam she's better now and thay say there's no better for my darling and our children are doing there very best for us both. Still can be a lonely place to be. Strength and hugs to all.

Having a crying morning.  Read Yantibee, Suzies and Eleniums post.

Been there with the incontinence yantibee almost same thing happened with mum.  Elenium he emptied a commode... reality beginning to strike home.  You'd be the drama queen if you said he was lucky it was in the commode! Am cross.  

Like everyone here...visitors have seen Mum clean in clean clothes having tea and a biscuit...which is nice for Mum but not real for the visitors....think I realised how little they believe my truth when my aunt suggested my mum take iron supplement for anaemia rather than keep having transfusions.

Elenium does your mum have temperature?  She may have infection am sure they'll check at hospital.  Thank goodness carer there.

Hi Maisemae and Sue.

Jx

Ps Yantibee. ..why when visitors come don't they say. .."sit down I'll make you both tea and coffee"...sometimes I've JUST finished major clean up when they arrive.

Dear all

I hope you do not mind me popping into your thread just to say I think you are all doing an amazing job in exhausting and frightening circumstances.

I empathise with the family situation. There are so many details people miss when they are not the day to day carer and those details add up to give the true picture. The terror of emergency admissions, the painful battles to try and find a vein for a cannula, the person weeping with humiliation when they have an 'accident' - without these details, people can have the luxury of thinking that things are not as bad as they actually are. It also doesn't help when the patient makes a big effort with other people, especially when that brings some kind of aftermath that you, the carer, have to then deal with. 

I can only say that I don't regret taking this role for my patient even though we went through some traumatic scenes together and I feel that I had an intimacy with him that his family didn't experience, since they weren't there for most of it, and when they were they didn't do any actual on the ground caring. However, I had many, many episodes of tears and rage about how little help I got and how reluctant anyone else was to take responsibility - for me that was the key, it is all very well to 'help' from time to time but the buck always, always stopped with me and it was sometimes overwhelming. Looking back - although it is very early days - I am glad that I was there for him. You are providing unstinting, amazing support and I wish you strength to continue doing so as long as is necessary.

And I hope that today someone, at the very least, makes you a cuppa.

Thanks Diziet. ...and you're most welcome to post here anyone else reading is too.

It's a lot of heartache but sometimes a laugh or two as well on here.

Am having a cuppa but made by me

Jx

Hello,

Since the weekend I'm now a fully paid up member of the commode brigade, husband upset about having to use it. 

Am anticipating the time when I pull the bowl,out too quickly to empty it and christen myself.

Husband in excruciating pain and then accused me of trying to kill him when I gave him his meds and would punch me in the face. I know it's not him talking but upsetting all the same.

Nurse to come to administer diamorphine soon.

What a start to the day.

Christmas "...........  it's just a word this year. Although he wants a pork chop, not a lot to ask is it?

X

Pork chop yes punch no...make sure you're safe if possible. 

Ps commode tips posted before but just in case.

ALWAYS have some liquid in bottom of cleaned commode helps with ejection of stubborn "solids".  I put nice smelling disinfectant or febreze in.

ALWAYS close mouth so no splashback in mouth! 

Latex gloves bought online recommended. 

Hug.

Jx

Just a quick post to say that we have been in the hospital since 8am.  Mum still waiting for x ray but they do think that it's broken.  Doctor is really cross that mum's not gone down yet and has had words...

Mum does have an infection so they are admitting her overnight for antibiotics.  Could have been a factor in her fall.

Mum's not happy about staying in but best place for her really.

Hugs to all and will read posts properly later. X

I wish I knew Jennyicb !!! Even my mum called in last night as my youngest son, me and my wife were eating our evening meal, she said " ohh that looks nice(pause) I haven't eaten yet I will have to find something when I get home. My son then offered her some of what was left in the kitchen and shared his side orders with her, made her a coffee and then gave her dessert!!! Like I said don't think anyone will surprise me again !! 

Thank you to all recommendations, bless you.

Syringe driver with calming meds in tomorrow, although he doesn't think he needs it.

Sleep tight, hope all calm, all I wish for at the moment.

Xx