Having a bad day

Hi all love to you all.

Sorry posting minimal v busy with all.

Just messaged aunt to go today I'd hate her to regret not going.  Said "go now don't wait".

Mum was improved but she'd like to see her sis now when she can speak and enjoy a visit for f@cks sake.

Off again now.

Jx

Morning all,

Jenny glad your mum's improving a bit and dad ok (ish) now. I have no advice about unvisiting relatives, can only say they are useless and I'm just going to try to switch off from mine.  i don't want to have a row when I need to focus on mum, so that's what I'm doing.  Although I expect they will do something else to infuriate me and I will post on here ranting again.

Going to do some Christmas shopping with my daughter today, gots lots of housework and washing to do so I'll be knackered by the end of the day.

Hope everyone got some rest last night and you have a less stressful Sunday.

Hugs to all.

Glad things improving.  Of course, putting the tree up is more important, silly you how could you think otherwise?

Rest well.

What a day! Was due to go home.... Mum on commode really struggling to 'go' i leave her and stand by door but i went back in and saw her face had gone weird. I rushed and held her and she stopped breathing but then facially went stranger i just kept saying mummy i love you and its ok over and over again i shouted for carer to dial 999, after about 4 mins she moved, we both thought her dead, its a whirr in my mind. Got her onto the bed. Ambulance arrived. In putting strain to go pushes a nerve which slows heart right down so she was as if dead to us the non medicals...... The worst day. Carer i sat down as she was in shock. It was horrendously scary. Mums still here and ive got to watch her for 24 hours and im the only one who can.  Mum and i talked and she has said that as she was going she coukd hear me saying what i said and she thought oh good im with 'maisiemae' - im now in bed, in shock i think. I saw her face, it wasnt mums face... Theres more, like a horror movie, too much to write. How hard is this all. Love to all. Seems i was meant to be here this weekend x

Hi Maisiemae, I'm a bit low today if I'm honest. Alan's brother & I were up at Alan's flat again yesterday. We finally found some jewellery that was their Dad's that Steve wanted to find. He was so pleased. But by the time we leave we don't just feel grubby but sad too. How Alan's life seems to be contained in Things. He was so much more than that to me. I was his Princess, he was my Dragon Slayer. I'm never come home from shopping to find he's popped in & left me flowers or some Galaxy chocolate. Not for any specific reason, but just because...

Sorry to be maudlin.

I hope all your Mum's (& Dad) are feeling ok today.

Sue xx

Oh Maisiemae,

How Awful!!

No wonder you're in shock!!!

I had the same with Alan the day before he went back into hospital! It's SCARY when someone you love doesn't even look like them anymore. I'll be haunted by my last image of Alan before he died. 

Huge Hugs & much Love

Xx

That's awful maisemae.  How scary for you.  Thank goodness you were there.  

One sentence was meant to say "I'd come home from shopping to find he'd popped in and left me flowers or some Galaxy chocolate" Bloomin autocorrect!!

Sue xx

Pooped. Carer in. Try for some sleep x 

Morning all,

I hope everyone got some rest last night and mums & dad are ok.  Maisiemae how are you this morning?

I am struggling today.  Had a huge row with my youngest daughter last night. She is on the autistic spectrum and has terrible rages.  I try to stay calm usually, although I'm not always successful, but normally just end up walking away.  I ended up shouting back at her and was so angry.  We both said things that we didn't mean.  We were both so upset.  I did apologise and we made up.  She actually let me hug her and she told me she loved me (hasn't let me hug her or said she loves me for years) so something good did come out of it.  She's very close to her nanny and it affects her too but she can't always show it.  I feel terrible. I've hardly slept and am on the verge of tears. Mustn't blub on the train...

Popped in to see mum yesterday.   She'd managed to get out of bed for a few hours, which was good, and was eating a large fresh cream cake when I got there.

So don't want to go to work but am hoping it will take my mind off things.

Hugs to all. X