Having a bad day

I forgot to mention earlier ..today dad said to mum "you look nice, you look like when I first met you"

Jx

Maisiemae, I didn't see your post about your brother and sister until just now.  I completely understand.  You are not possessed or mad, but just a loving, kind and  caring daughter.  They sound like my siblings.  And Sue I can't believe how Alan's family (apart from his brother) are behaving.  What has happened to common decency?  Why do people think it's ok to treat others like the shit on their shoe? (Sorry having a bit of a rant as this really is a pet hate of mine)  In the past I have gone to hospital appointments with people who had no one to go with them, because I can't bear the thought of them going on their own to receive potentially bad news.  I'm only saying this because if I can do this for friends and acquaintances why can't they be there for their parents?  What is the matter with them?  When mum told me my brother wasn't coming over Christmas I could tell that she was hurt, although she wasn't saying anything. Why does he think that's acceptable? I said to mum that me and helpful sister would be there Christmas day and she told me that was good because the most important people would be there then.  I can't even begin to imagine how she feels knowing that some of her children can't make the effort to be with her on the last Christmas we'll have together.

I put something on our WhatsApp chat yesterday asking what everyone was doing, as mum was asking.  Neither brother or other sister have replied.  I said that as this was our last Christmas with her I had decided that I was going to make the most of it, even though I actually don't care about Christmas this year.  I said that I wanted to make happy memories.  Not a single reply!  I know everyone handles these things differently but there's no excuse for not being with her at Christmas. 

Like you maisiemae I think that I probably won't be speaking to any of them at the funeral.  I have told my sister that I am not having funeral cars as I don't want to be in the car with them.  She agreed.  I can see myself losing it with them if they are all there crying and they couldn't put themselves out to be with her when she needed them.  Aargh!  I'm making myself more and more angry as I'm typing this.  I'd like to get all our useless relatives in a room and shout and scream at them.  I hope to god they are never in the position that our mum's and Alan are/were in and that their children don't behave the way they are.  If they are they better not ask me for help because I'll be telling them where to go. 

Right,  I need to take a deep breath and stop thinking about this.  Sorry everyone, it's just really got to me and then reading your posts just tipped me over the edge.

Selfish, Selfish, Selfish.

Going to bed now.  Hope everyone gets a good nights sleep and has a better day tomorrow.,

Hugs to everyone X.

Aww jenny, i must have something in my eye

E. Im with you on this friggin journey. I feel so so similar to you. Knowing im not alone with my fury is helpful... Just sorry when i feel we should all pull together the coward selfish run Away. Carry on doing whatever you to do and think and feel. Sadly though, im not quite sure i like the way i feel when mum is so equal with us all when their care of her now and always has been crumbs of love. My mother is NOt a duck!

Your posts are breaking my heart. Jx

Elenium,

Selfish is the wrong word. It gets misconstrued as a negative word. I would call all our feelings as Passionate! Now THAT word is much more appropriate! 

We don't want an impossible change of character that we wish our families would make for ourselves, we want it for the ones who count, our loved ones who are battling this horrific disease.

If Selfish could be used in a positive context I'd be PROUD to be called Selfish!!

Huggies Sue xx

Feeling your frustration E it's crap when this happens plus it's such a shock !!! They are immediate family I mean COME ON!! I have similar frustrations here but trying so hard to push them out of my mind to concentrate on who is important at this time ,my wife,it's about her not them 

Plenty of time for dealing with the absent so called family later 

Friends. How are you all? Im on emergency visit to mums. Dogs and partner coming. Mum v low. She is ready to go. She is calm and has been able to tell me that she doesnt want to upset me but the time has come to go to sleep and not wake up. Its enough. Of course this is shocking to hear but I am respecting how she feels and what she wants. She is more afraid to live than die. She is the strongest most wonderful woman I know and although i want her in my life i now have to not be selfish and sit with her and let her be ready to pass. In writing these words I am looking at my hands and they are not joined onto my body. This is disassociating. Thankyou for being there. X

My thoughts are with you at this time.

It is an unreal place you have reached with her yet it is happening.   Wishing you both peace she's let you know what she needs.  

We're here...

Jx