Having a bad day

I have managed to get carers in from the hospice for most of the day tomorrow. When I explained to them they went out of their way to try and sort something out. They are so good. Sod my brothers and sister!

Aren't they just the most amazing people.   Mostly charity funded here too. Don't know about yours?

Get quite emotional if I speak about them.  Had a call IF I can get mum to hospice today they'll do another aromatherapy for her.

Jx

Hello my lovely friends. Thanks Elenium and Jenny and hello Sue and Theresa. Crikey i get confused. Im v weepy today. Mum better than this morning. We are both going to have an afternoon nanna nap. Did you have green mats at school where, after lunch we were encouraged to nap on the green mat. Bliss and i should introduce it to the office! Thank goodness Elenium you have the hospice help - we are not associated with one. Hope it doesnt rain here as no Carols if it rains. At 830pm tonight hum silent Night then we are all together. I told mum about we would like our mums to know each other, marvellous idea she thinks. Love to all xxx

The hospice are brilliant!  They are charity funded.  I've been donating to them for years but never thought we'd actually be using them.

Yes, we used have naps on the green mats at school Maisemae, although that was when I was about 5.  Not sure I could sleep on a mat on the floor now.  With my back I'd probably never get up.  :-)  

I was very weepy today too but luckily my best friend works in the same building as me so she came to see me and we had a chat - well I ranted actually - and feel much better now.  Also feel better because I don't have to worry about mum tomorrow now.  

I'll keep my fingers crossed that it doesn't rain tonight and will hum (or maybe even sing) Silent Night at 8.30 and think of you all. 

Hugs to all. X

Jenny, did you get your mum to aromatherapy?

Told Mum about the Carols tonight at 8.30.

She cried. Said so lovely. 

I cried.

Going to look up local carol concerts for her.

At hospice now.  They have carols tonight at church opposite but can't stay for it as dad home alone post dialysis. ..

Jx

Yes we're here now she went in at 3.30 bit late for her esp as didn't really eat but she loves it. Am peaceful here. Having tea and cake SERVED TO ME for 2 quid..

Dad got to not do anything daft or pass out til we're back jx

Hi All, No, you're not dreaming, I am still on the planet!! Well, as on the planet as I'll ever be! Lol 

I've been reading all of your posts & it's so sad that families have to go through so much, & any divisions in a family are magnified beyond belief at such times. I'm still SO angry with Alan's son & Granddaughters over the funeral arrangements. How dare they criticise me when they made it plain they weren't bothered! In his last few weeks Alan saw them more often than in the 3 or 4 years previously!! My heart used to break when they deigned to get in touch, cos I saw how much even a morsel of attention from them made him glow with happiness. Yes he brought some of it on himself, but like you all I believe that forgiveness helps both parties. I had a pretty horrendous childhood & even I managed to tell my father I loved him a week before he died. In that moment I knew I'd be ok. 

I spent 3+ hours up at Alan's yesterday & managed to actually find some of the paperwork that we need, especially where selling bikes & cars are concerned. Then today I actually felt up to tidying his car out. I'm still driving it as mine's not fixed yet.Its an estate, & I even put the back seats back up!! In there, apart from crumbling plastic bags & empty plastic bottles I found the Christmas gifts I gave him last year still in the stocking!! Stuff for his garden. Also his suitcase was still in there from when we got back from Mallorca in May!! At least I'd packed all the dirty clothes in mine before we came back!! Otherwise that suit case would've been wheeling itself!! Lol

I'm off the the cinema tonight with my friend. We're going to see the Nutcracker live streamed from the Royal Opera House in London. I've been going to these live screenings since last year, & my friend finally came with me in the summer to see Giselle. She says I've turned her into a ballet nut!! And that's a problem how?? 

I will however hum along tonight at the appropriate time. It'll help me feel like I'm part of something. I've been missing Alan the closer to the 25th it gets. I woke up during the night feeling for him in bed, & when I realised he wasn't there started to cry. I have a teddy bear that shares all my secrets, & I've been sleeping with him since Alan went into hospital, & sometimes when I wake n the morning my arms & hands ache where I've been clutching him so tight! 

Even if I don't post every day I think of you all often & wonder how your days are going.

Hugs to you

Sue xx

Oh its a weepy day today. Mum very very weak and sweaty today. Low low low day and no doggy. Im going to get a pup after mum. I need another one. Note want and need a puppy, shall i also stamp my foot.?

Love to all and to your mums (and dad) xxx

There isnt a hospice near mum. Sounds like a safe place to be x