How have you coped emotionally while dealing with cancer?

Looking back now with some distance and time from my active treatment I can reflect on a number of things that helped me deal with it emotionally.  

Firstly getting out in the fresh air and walking every day, even in the worst of chemo when I could literally only manage a few minutes in the garden, this really helped me.

Secondly, continuing to work. I know this isn't easy or possible for everyone, but I am fortunate that I have a job that I can manage from home and can do flexibly, and I have a super supportive employer. The distraction of work, being able to fill my brain with something other than how I am physically feeling, really helped me to manage the worst of my symptoms. 

Hope these ideas help anyone just starting on their treatment. 

I also made sure I went out each day and walked, although distance reduced significantly in the later stages of chemo.. During my second course of chemo, when it was wet, windy and cold, I would drive to a nearby indoor retail mall to keep walking in the dry. 

I also kept working throughout. My job at the time involved significant UK travel which had to be suspended for some time, but I worked from home so was able to keep busy with general work at my own pace. Support from my colleagues also helped me enormously.

I joined the Macmillan community when diagnosed with my first cancer (lung) in 2014 and the help and information gained from other members was invaluable.

Finally, my family and a couple of close friends were my rock. I couldn't have coped without them.

Hi Irishgirl16 and excavator 

Thanks for commenting on the post and sharing some of what has helped your emotional wellbeing in the past.

I love the idea of getting out into the fresh air and going for a walk, if possible. It’s amazing what something so simple can do for mental health, even if it’s just a few minutes around the garden.

It reminded me of the Walking back to Happiness discussion in the Breast cancer forum. That was started over 8 years ago. I wonder if its worth creating a new discussion like that in one of the more general forums?

For some tests and treatments I had one off medications to help with anxiety. I'm very grateful that GP and oncologist didn't bat an eyelid over prescribing. (One Doctor told me it's more helpful to them if you say you're not ok than say you're fine when you're not.)

Overall I had to remind myself to be a bit more flexible. Accepting this was a difficult situation and I might need to try some unexpected strategies was a real help. I didn't imagine I'd ever be sharing all sorts on a Macmillan online forum but I can't imagine what it would be like without! 

Hi Clem16 

Thanks so much for replying to the post and sharing some of what helped you.

It’s really good to hear that both your GP and oncologist were supportive when you spoke honestly about your anxiety. I think that advice about saying when you’re not okay, rather than trying to pretend you’re fine, is such an important reminder.

It sounds like you’ve been very open and flexible in trying different ways to cope with such a difficult situation.

Thank you again for sharing so openly and for being such a supportive member of the Online Community.

Hello, I'm new to this forum. I finished my chemo almost 12 months ago and felt really hopeful and grateful that my cancer is in remission. Recently though I keep thinking about dying. I just can't shake it off. My sister died of the same cancer which came back several times. Her daughter, my mom and aunt all died of cancer. Has anyone else gone from feeling positive and happy to feeling sad and scared? I just don't know why I'm feeling less positive 

Hi LesleyH. 

Thank you for replying to this discussion, and a warm welcome to the Online Community. We know it’s a community no one plans to join, but we hope you are able to find some support and comfort here.

It’s really good to hear that your cancer is in remission. I’m also very sorry to hear how much cancer has affected your family over the years, and the losses you’ve experienced. That’s a lot for anyone to carry.

It’s understandable that you’re feeling sad and scared, especially given your own experience of cancer and what you’ve been through with your family.

This post in the Life after cancer forum came to mind when I read your reply - Remission, I should feel grateful but .... There are members in that forum who may really identify with how you’re feeling. You’re very welcome to create a new post there if you’d like, but you’re also welcome to continue sharing here.

If you ever want to speak to someone about how you are feeling, you can give the Macmillan Support line a call for free (in the UK) on 0808 808 00 00. Our Support Team is available 8 am to 8 pm, seven days a week.

Many thanks, I will look in other forums and thanks for your kind words.

Hi everyone,

We’ve created a new discussion called “One step at a time” for members to share moments of getting outside, walking, and spending time in nature for their wellbeing.

Whether it’s a short walk, sitting in the garden for a few minutes, or simply getting some fresh air, we’d love to hear from you there. Feel free to share how it helps you, photos from your walks, or simply cheer others on.

One Step at a Time - Macmillan Online Community