I never had that ephinany or euphoria that others report after finding myself in remission. I was relieved but no more than that. That was 2.5 years ago following treatment for stage 4 anal cancer. Radiotherapy and chemotherapy were brutal. I have felt so fatigued, heavy and my body isn't my own. Lots of post surgery issues and two weeks ago my latest MRI showed a number of fractures at the base of my spine caused by radiation and a late side effect. My head though, that's the difficult one. I am starting to understand I have been in survival mode for the last 2.5 years and it's caught up with me now. I am tearful, very down although everyone thinks I am great, I look well, have a great job. I am masking my true feelings where I feel exhausted, vulnerable and battered. I really don't know where to turn for help but I know I need some help. Is anyone else feeling so down after treatment ended a while ago?
Hi TEJ46 and first congratulations in getting through your treatment but sorry to hear your are dealing with post treatment ‘left overs’
I can appreciate the journey you are on although my cancers are very different.
I have been on my rollercoaster coming up to 26 years now with my first rare type of (incurable) T-Cell Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (NHL) appearing in 1999 at the age of 44……. The longest partial-remission I had over the first 14 years was 9 month before I was back on treatment.
I was diagnosed in 2012 with Asbestosis.
Then in late 2013 another rare type of (aggressive) T-Cell NHL appeared taking me to stage 4…….
2 years of full on treatments followed……. But I turned 70 back in Nov and I am living as good a life as any other healthy 70 year old can be living.
Yes I have had significant post treatment ‘left overs’ (See my story) …… and just last week I was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer……..but my long experience has helped me develop the ability to control the noise between my ears that defines me……. my cancers and the journey I have navigated do not define who I am…… I define my life and how I live it.
You may find it helpful to make a cuppa and have a look at this great paper After Treatment Finishes - Then What? by Dr Peter Harvey as it highlights the post treatment milestones.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
