Remission, I should feel grateful but ...... x

Hi TEJ46 and first congratulations in getting through your treatment but sorry to hear your are dealing with post treatment ‘left overs’

I can appreciate the journey you are on although my cancers are very different.

I have been on my rollercoaster coming up to 26 years now with my first rare type of (incurable) T-Cell Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (NHL) appearing in 1999 at the age of 44……. The longest partial-remission I had over the first 14 years was 9 month before I was back on treatment.

I was diagnosed in 2012 with Asbestosis.

Then in late 2013 another rare type of (aggressive) T-Cell NHL appeared taking me to stage 4…….

2 years of full on treatments followed……. But I turned 70 back in Nov and I am living as good a life as any other healthy 70 year old can be living.

Yes I have had significant post treatment ‘left overs’ (See my story) …… and just last week I was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer……..but my long experience has helped me develop the ability to control the noise between my ears that defines me……. my cancers and the journey I have navigated do not define who I am…… I define my life and how I live it.

You may find it helpful to make a cuppa and have a look at this great paper After Treatment Finishes - Then What?  by Dr Peter Harvey as it highlights the post treatment milestones.

Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing. 

Hi TEJ46 I had anal cancer aswell and like you I had no euphoria feeling when I got the all clear. I personally think you deal with a cancer diagnosis after treatment etc has finished, I think that's when what you've been through hits you and you still have all the scans and check ups to deal with. Can you ask your hospital for therapy. I am having some and while I find it awkward as its not really me I am finding it helpful. Sending hugs. Xx

I'm sorry that you have new late side effects on top of everything else. 

Just to say i found I needed some support and was signposted to some services by a cancer wellbeing worker who is part of local NHS trust. Do let your GP know how you're feeling  and perhaps your CNS  can advise too. Taking a step towards finding support felt like at least starting out on moving forward. Well, a bit anyway, and I'm glad I did. 

Thinking of you. 

I truely understand what you are feeling , i feel exactly  like you , I beat cancer in 2024  , but living after cancer and my major operation,  I feel so lost , not motivated,  guilty for feeling the way I do ,  coming to terms that my body will never be the same , tired , no power , just lost in life . 

Elain 

Hi all,

The post treatment down is so very normal.  I had prostate cancer and after having my whole prostate removed in the June of 2024 by November 2024 I was making a good recovery, but had all the feelings people report on this thread.  Luckily, I was already on the waiting list for some Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and this kicked in.  I had been warned that it doesn't always work, but in my case it really did.

Although, I was very lucky to have a professional guide me.  This is a therapy that can be done like an online training course.  I believe there is a form of it available on this site.  My therapy sessions were 1 a week from mid November to January.  It took a lot of time to bottom out those feelings and to confront the changes to my body and life.  On top of the guilt, loss, difficulty processing what had happened, I also had to deal with permanent damage to my sex life and when we dealt with that my wife came in on the sessions.  Together we have faced it all down and continue to love our life together, despite concerns of spread.

Anyone reading this - please do not feel guilty about any negative feelings you have after cancer.  It really is the big test that everyone fears and you have survived it!  My bottom line is that cancer stole some of my life and I won't let it have any more of it.  I am going to make every day as great and magical as I can.  Life really is magical and please get some help and go enjoy it - you deserve it!