Feeling Lonely - Where do you turn and who can you talk to when you are now 'well'?

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Not sure why I am so sad and feel so alone but I find that now I have had the all clear and an slowly getting back to doing more things after surgery, despite still being in a lot of pain some days, people have left.

I wasnt inundated with messages when I was diagnosed or during my surgery and immediate recovery but people did check in. Now I seem to have been forgotten.

My family just tell me well you are cured now and when I am down I just get told not to be sad.  I have nothing to be sad about. 

But I live with the scars and the pain every day still wondering why it happened to me and what I did wrong to deserve it. 

I know people have it so much worse than me and survivors guilt is real when you know others have not been so successful in their fight. Which I guess is why it feels so lonely. 

Where do you turn and who can you talk to when you are now 'well'?

Sorry for such a negative post but I don't really know where to release my feelings.  

Thank you for listening x

  • Hi  i was diagnosed with cancer a little over  three years ago and Macmillan offered talking therapies which can accessed via your nurse specialist or GP.   I think there is also another online forum called life after cancer.  Best wishes for your continuing recovery.  

  • Hi  .

    You could call the Macmillan Support Line open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.

    Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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  • I found the Macmillan online HOPE programme very helpful and it helped me to move forward with recovery. I like that I can dip in and out at my own pace. If you are anywhere near a Maggie's centre there are lots of things going on there. The helpline can also let you know what support is available near you. Your GP surgery would also have some contacts about local services. I really hope you can find support that's a good 'fit' for you. Sending best wishes. 

  • You can call Macmillan hotline to talk about your feelings. I found lots of support there. There may also be some local groups like Maggie's. And like M8ck suggested you can also try Talking Therapies. Sending you a gentle hug 

  • Hello. I know just how you feel. I finished chemo last November and scan was ned. I am very grateful but feel a bit lost. Had follow up scan yesterday so nervous. It never really goes away but people around me don't want to know and I feel like a very uninteresting person and Ive nothing else to really talk about - the last 18 months have been all about the cancer. We can't just bounce back to how we were but I know you are trying just like we all do. We need to be kinder to ourselves too.  Thinking of you and thanks for prompting me to release these feelings too x