Partner's mood

Hi

So very sorry to hear about your wife. I totally empathise with your situation. My Mum is terminally ill with oesophageal cancer and - like you - I'm OK dealing with the physical side of things but the emotional side is something else again. Mum's frustrated and I'm the only person here so she takes it out on me at times or she expresses suicidal thoughts which are alarming to say the least.

If you scroll down, I posted something entitled 'mental health support' and various kind people came back to me with suggestions and advice. The hospice nurse also told the GP to prescribe steroids for Mum - to help increase her energy and appetite. It's early days yet but her mood does seem to have brightened. 

I've found that letting off steam in this forum has been really helpful - you're talking to people who genuinely understand. Just reach out with any questions - you're not on your own. 

Livia

Thank you for responding.

This is why I say I'm not techie.

So I scroll down and all I can find is Community News and 'More from this forum' but nothing to do with 'mental help support.' Below that is 'Donate'.

Any directions gratefully received.

Hi Simonhusband,

Livia meant scroll down on the carers forum main page, but I've tried to copy the link in for you. Hope it works because I'm not much of a techie either!

community.macmillan.org.uk/.../mental-health-support

Hi Simonhusband

So sorry for not being clearer (I’m definitely not a techie - I’m currently struggling with online forms for Mum’s financial assessments re care and it’s taking me FOREVER with password chaos).

As you’ll see, Rosalinda has provided a much better method - a working link!

I do hope things have calmed down a little for you since your last post. Take good care. 

Thank you.

No apology needed. Thank you.

Read the posts. You are all incredible wonderful people.

We were given the horrible news last June. 

My beloved actually admitted today she sometimes has a short or no fuse.

That was a big break through.

Take care everyone. X

Hi Simon, sorry to hear about your situation. I know what you're going through - my partner is currently on Cycle 2 of chemo for ovarian cancer, and is very difficult to be around. I'm pretty sure a lot of it is due to the large doses of steroids she gets with the chemo drugs. She turns into a rage filled argumentative monster right after the chemo - nothing I say or do is right, I get accused of either 'wrapping her in cotton wool' or 'not caring enough'. It's a horrible place to be in when you are just trying your best for you loved one - fairly similar to caring for someone with dementia. It makes me sad to see the changes that cancer has caused in someone who was the smartest, funniest, cleverest and kindest person I've ever known. I fervently hope that this will be a temporary thing, and that after chemo we can find some joy again. Funnily enough the counselling service that MacMillan directed us to got in touch today - we'll both be able to access some help. I hope you have some support like this - we can't care for our loved ones if we don't get care ourselves. All the best, and keep posting - it's good to get things off your chest here.

Its seemingly very common - and very upsetting when before they were so laid back.  It is draining - and you feel exhausted both physically and mentally. My soloution to keep sane is start on making items to donate to school fund raisers for friends - Christmas goodies are well underway :)  I involve the dude in helping create templates for things - it helps his mood too.   

Its so difficult not to bite back at them when they are nasty, i just have to remember its not meant - hes doing it cos hes scared and hates feeling so weak and unable to do a lot now.  

Thank goodness we have these forums

Hi Simon, so sorry you’re having such a difficult time. This reaction is very common. My husband has terminal throat cancer and has had massive mood swings. At times, I have really struggled as it’s so hurtful, when all you want is to help, support and love through such a painful experience. 
Keep talking here as it does help. 

Hello. Yes.  It's exhausting.

My beloved could always be argumentative but blame me. Now she's taken it to new levels.

I try to be patient and stay pleasant but it rarely works.

Guess I just have to keep at it!

Xx