Partner's mood

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Hello. I'm not techie and I'm struggling to use this site.

My wife has breast cancer, secondary is liver cancer. Stage 4. Have I said that right?

I'm really struggling. I can cope with the physical side of things but she keeps getting so nasty, irritable and awful with me.

I totally understand why she is like she is but it's making a vile situation worse.

She won't be reasoned with and she says the arguing is my fault but it really isn't.

Nothing seems to help. Very occasionally she almost admits what she's like.

It's stomach churning and I'm worn out. Surely I can't be the only person in this situation?

Any advice or contact very welcome.

Simon.

LiviaCalibri 6 days ago in reply to Simonhusband

I hope you're managing to get a bit of a break at times, Simon - even if it's just to go out for a walk or meet someone for a cuppa. I've now got a care package in place for Mum so I can go home for three days a week - it's only just started but it's worked wonders for my own patience levels. The hospice have sent a sitter for four hours each week too.

It's horrible to say but - before - even just a 15-minute drive to collect a prescription felt like the most wonderful taste of freedom for me. It's so hard because you feel you should be there, patient, pleasant and responsive all the time. But I've realised you do need to look after yourself too.

Also, Mum's much more amenable with the carers and other professionals who come in than she is with me. She tends to save all the frustration she's built up to share with me instead. I've had to learn to accept that (and I'm sure she's complaining about me behind my back!)

Stay strong - you're doing wonders.

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