Hi everyone. It's my first time here, both visiting and posting. I'm struggling today.
My (F43) partner (M42) has bowel cancer. His mental health is at an all time low, and we are struggling. Independently, and as a couple.
I am trying my level headed best to continue going to work, my daughter is about to go to uni in Sept, and currently sitting A-Levels. I'm doing the bulk of the housework, and basically feel like the glue trying to keep everything together. It's just a lot.
After four lots of immunotherapy, the plan now will be surgery. The outlook is positive, which is obviously a blessing. But it's still difficult. The side effects have been hard going at times, and he's really finding it all very much a struggle.
Everyone assumes, because the treatment is curative, that it's not so bad. Physically, he is struggling, and mentally, as I said, he is really a shell of a person. Not the man I feel in love with. And I feel horrendously guilty for having these feelings, and struggling. I feel like he deserves better, someone who can dote and wait on him hand and foot. But I'm really, really tired. I feel like I have very little left, and I get nothing at all in return.
Sorry to vent, I'm hoping at least one person can see it from my point of view, and make me feel less of an utter letdown of a partner.
