I dont know if I'm strong enough for this

Hi Thankyou . I hope my husband gets 7 years but don’t think that’s likely . Everything you read states it’s a short term illness and I’m glad you had your wife well for that time . I generally wake him up with tea and food if I can but sometimes he just wants to sleep . Do I wake him or not . I tend to think he’s better off up and about and if he does push thro he’ll be better . But you most certainly have not failed at anything . You are lost in this situation as I am . But we carry on and that’s a big thing . Take care x 

Thankyou yes it’s good to have some support . Kind regards 

Hi it’s very upsetting yes . I miss him . I have thought that too . That maybe he’s sort of preparing me . I just so sad for him and us . Thankyou xx 

I’m glad I found this thread. My husband has been having tests and we got told on Monday the lump in his neck is cancer and PET scan showed uptake in tonsils and base of tongue. All they’ve said so far in terms of treatment is tonsillectomy and lymph node removal. No grading or prognosis.

I feel like I’m going mad, can’t stop crying, imagining all the worst case scenarios. If I manage to distract myself for a bit, I immediately feel guilty that I’ve thought about something else or felt ‘happy’ for a little bit. Christmas preparations are making it worse, I just want to scream at everyone who is having fun. He hasn’t told his family yet and they keep messaging re Xmas plans which doesn’t help. And constantly feel guilty for feeling so sorry for myself when it’s him going through it. He’s acting like it’s nothing major too which is so frustrating.  Wow feels good to write this all down and reading all your experiences make me feel a bit less alone.

Saint !! I feel exactly the same, I’ve had tears myself this morning. Nurses came in to John, then phone call about his medication, then a delivery of medication, then another phone call about an appointment…I shouted….its all about you you you… I started crying. Couldn’t stop. So hea just gone for a lie down…so I’ve opened a bottle of Port lol

Oh  Saint C, I so hear you!

It’s like you have written the thoughts straight out of my head!

I just don’t know at the moment, how people are able to ‘stay positive’ and ‘take each day as it comes’ as at the moment each day I wake up and can’t see the wood for the trees! 
I so wish I could reach out and give you a massive hug, as sometimes I feel that’s all I need xx 

much love to you - happy to keep on connecting xx

Hi give yourself time . It took us months to digest our information. Once you have a plan and as time goes on you will find you hopefully find ways to cope better . It’s good hubby is positive. It’s very difficult as you say . But the initial shock is enough to knock you backwards . Xx 

Sounds like a good plan Jude. And some nice cheese to go with it. X

Thank you, I think you’re right. First couple of days was numb and think shock has kicked in. Thank you for the support. X

Always xx