Can't cope

• Yes my Maggie's is about 20 mins away but I drive so not to bad. Yes definitely phone them I pestered them I did and if your mum needs better medication u need to speak with the GP they gave my mum morphine to use when she likes also have u been given palliative care as they are supposed to be there for that stuff we are waiting on them I will be phoning them tomorrow to give them a push. I really hope that counselling will help in any way it can I just don't want to fall apart or have a less fall apart if that makes sense. Your mum sounds like she doesn't want to open up about it and if that's her way of dealing with it that is totally fine but if maybe she needs to speak to someone about it maybe phone Macmillan for her to have counselling there maybe some things she can't speak to you about because she's afraid of hurting you XXX sending u lots of hugs and love 

Yeah that’s great it’s not far away.  These places are a godsend however I’m sure we all agree we would rather not be in this situation to have to use them.  There is a lung nurse at the hospital where we are waiting to get an appt.    I can’t bring myself to speak to my mums gp I blame them for this rightly or wrongly my mum should have had a ct done a long time ago especially with her previous history but they don’t care they just kept palming her off with painkillers.     I have no faith in them at all!     I would think we would be allocated a McMillan nurse I’m going take a pad & pen with me when we get this appt abs sit and make a list of questions.   I don’t want to take over but I need clarification on a good few things.   To be honest my mum is going have to speak to someone because she’s not mentioning it at all.   It’s like it’s not happened however I know she will be like us all crumbling inside but she doesn’t want to show this to us.   Part of me thinks she wants to wait to see the doctor first and then I’m hoping she will open up a bit more.    We are all  very scared but not talking is not good either.      It’s very much the large elephant in the room just now.  It’s a hellish situation.    X

Hey ah yeah it's the constant elephant in the room it never leaves some people deal with it different and I can't imagine how your mum is feeling like my mum I think they are being the bravest women in the world and I absolutely admire my mother even more than I did already for the strong woman she is and because of that I believe she has raised a strong child in me. That's a good idea write it all down because at the time your mind can go blank I felt like my world fell from under my feet in that room. My mum had a pancreatic nurse and they have arranged the care now so I'm guessing your specialist nurse will do the same for you. And I totally agree these places we wish we were never in these places I had no idea even existed and wish I didn't now. 

That’s it they are very strong woman and as you say I think that’s why we are trying to do our very best for them.   Although we are down we are not out!    Yeah I feel the same I’m so proud of her as she must be so scared.   Oh jees it must have been so hard that day but you are here and coping the best you can in these awful circumstances and your mum will be proud of you too.     Hope that your appt tomorrow goes well.  I will be thinking of you.   X

Thank you I hope so to I know it can't change anything but may help with the fall. I hope you hear from the hospital soon if not phone them 100% get onto them il check in with you soon x 

Take care and speak soon x

Hey 

I hope your doing ok and the counselling went well?

Hello, sorry for the late reply. It's been a hard few days with mum ending up in the hospital but I know it is for the best. 

How are you and how is your mum?

I actually haven't thought about that, I wasn't aware that it was available tbh so I will definitely look into that for when she is back home, thank you.

I'm glad there's a Maggie's near you, I've been wanting to go myself so will definitely get round to that and let me know how you find it if/when you go xx

Hey, sorry for the delay - as mentioned in reply to Darling34 mum ended up in hospital so it's been a chaotic and hard few days. How are you and your mum?

All of the waiting and not knowing is the worst. Make a lost of questions you need answering ready for when you get that consultant appointment, no question is silly and the more you know the better.

My mum has had one round of chemotherapy which came to an end late Nov and she is waiting on an op on her right femur where there is cancer which has weakened the bone therefore causing limited mobility so once that op is done and she's recovered they've planned to start immunotherapy.

Let me know how you get on at Maggie's, I've heard amazing things about the place 

That "how long" question was the first thing my mum asked. In one way it prepares you but it can be quite upsetting but they don't like to estimate and also kept in mind that no one really knows for definite.

Well my mum has recently moved in with me and my boyfriend but it is me that deals with everything and I don't have any family close by so I don't really have anyone who can help out xx

Hi there I thought something was up because you didn't get back I was thinking about you hoping you were ok. Is your mum home now it's terrible when they go into hospital it's the last place they want to be isn't it. My mum isn't doing to good this weekend she's just in bed tired she's been having nose bleeds pain and diarrhea it's not looking good is it. I did get the out of hours GP out they gave her different pain meds stuff to put on her nose but not much else to do it's not fare I hate it so much. I hope your holding up in your self been thinking about you both x