Can't cope

Hello,

Thank you for sharing, I am so sorry to hear what you're going through and to have to go through it twice is unimaginable.

My mum was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in June 2022 and similarly to your mum she has as a result lost a lot of weight and is so fragile.

I can understand on some level how you must be feeling and if you ever need to talk to someone, please reach out. 

Rebecca x

Hi Rebecca, thank you for getting back to me I'm so sorry your going through this it's horrendous and I wish noone would have to go through this. It can feel so isolating so it does just help to reach out to someone else who gets it. I'm so sick of feeling sad and this dread feeling over me.all day every day I'm trying so hard to carry on but I don't know how people do it.

Hello 

I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through.    My mum was diagnosed 4 weeks ago with terminal lung cancer and listening to you I feel exactly the same.  Life changed that day and I would give anything to go back.   I am so close with my mum she is my best friend and I feel so sad this is happening to her.   She had breast cancer 5 years ago and came through that fine then fir this to happen it’s so cruel.   Life is so unfair.   I’m glad you have reached out to this group it has helped me hugely the last few weeks.     I have taken advice from lovely people on here and  I’m trying to to take each day as it comes.   I don’t want my mum to see me upset as I feel it would drag her down.  I am just trying remain strong.   The helplines are very good too if you wanted to speak with someone direct.     Thinking of you.   Please free to chat I’m always on here. 

Binijac

Hi lovely,

It's an awful disease especially knowing there isn't anything anyone can do to make it better. In the beginning I fell apart and started having panic attacks, my mum was holding it together for the both of us. It's just been me and my mum my whole life so I felt like my world was collapsing. Now that she relies on me for everything I try to switch off my emotions as hard as it is because there is so much to do to make sure she is okay and me being so emotional wasn't helping me.

I try to keep it to myself and not let her see it because god knows how she is feeling but your feelings are valid too and what you're going through is so tough so please take care of yourself and I'm always here if you want a natter or get things off your chest.

There is also a huge amount of support available, I found the Roy Castle Lung Cancer Foundation forum really helpful too. 

Sending my love to you and your Mum x

Hi Binijac,

I'm so sorry to hear you're also going through this. It's such a awful thing for you and your Mum to have to go through once nevermind twice.

I hope you're finding ways to cope and if you need to talk at all, I'm always here.

Take care,

Rebecca x

Hi, thank you yes I'm exactly the same trying to hide if from my mum I feel like I'm holding my breath around her but as soon as I leave take a breath I break down. It feels like the world keeps spinning and mine has stopped and I don't know what to do iv taken time off work before Christmas but I'm struggling thinking of going back I feel like I can't keep my head above water at the moment. I to am trying to take day by day but feel like I'm not in the moment as all I do is think this is the last time I do this or that it's consumed my whole life. It is a awful thing to go through and your mum is being so brave like my mum they are amazing and amaze me daily with how strong she is. Iv not tried the helpline I'm affraid I'd just break down and they won't hear a word. It's just not fare it really isn't bad things happen to good people and none of this is fare.

Thank you so much I'm exactly the same I'm waking up being sick giving my self panic attacks when I do actually sleep these days. I to try my best to hide my feelings and be positive but every now and then I leave the room and I absolutely fall apart. You are both so amazingly brave and thank you for sharing your story with me it helps it some way to know I'm not alone but then hurts me more also knowing other people are going through this pain that I wouldn't wish on anyone. I am always up for a chit chat to we really need it right now I think. Take care of your self xx

• Hi im new here my partner has incurable  lung cancer and i feel just like you but have got upset in front of him then feel so guilty afterwards its so sad stay strong .

Hello,

It is completely normal to feel like that. I kept thinking she will never see me get married or have kids etc etc but it's not healthy to think like that or think too far ahead. People say enjoy the time you have but sometimes you can't because it's not quality time you're getting especially if she is sleeping a lot like my mum. It's absolutely heartbreaking and I still have days like that myself but you will find ways to cope, I promise.

Do you have any family who can help out a little bit? Are you her main carer? Is she getting any treatment?

People would tell me to take time for myself etc but sometimes you can't because your mind is in overdrive. 

If you do decide to give them a call, they won't mind if you get upset and they can't hear a word, they will be used to it and if might do you good. Do you have a Maggie's centre near you?

X

Hello, 

I know this wasn't intended for me but I just wanted to say I'm genuinely sorry that you're also going through this and you're only human so please don't feel guilty for getting upset. Nothing prepares you for a loved one getting Cancer.

I hope you're okay, my love to you both. Remember to take care of yourself too x