Can't cope

I'm glad you've got some family members who understand what you're going through and are there if you need them. My family all live at the other end of the country so it's just me and it feels like I've taken complete control of her life which I don't mind but it can be a lot to deal with on top of a full time job and everything else so I completely understand how going back to work isn't the easiest thing for you but I do agree that it will help to take your mind off it a little bit and give you a bit of distance for your own mental health sake.

Maggie's offer a lot of various support for patients and family members. It might be worth looking into: https://www.maggies.org/

I think that's a lovely idea ️. I do spend time with her but I feel like a nuisance sometimes or like I'm ogling. She's not interested in TV or doing anything really so mostly I just talk to her until I think she's bored of me

You're very welcome, it has helped me as well because although I've got great friends, none of them know what I'm going through so thank you for being so open xx

Oh really a dental appointment it really is very scary.      Yeah it certainly does help to talk.        I think your right I’m going tell a couple of close friends in the coming weeks and let them know that I am not up to speaking about unless I feel the need it just makes them aware.     In a way I wish mum would speak about it as she must be so scared as I’m I.   But it’s up to her.   I was taking down my Xmas tree today and getting the house back into order and instead of looking forward to the new year I feel right now i can’t look forward to anything.  As everyone advises on here it really is a day at a time and I am now getting my head into that mindset.       

I’ve heard people say you should go to somewhere remote and just scream I think I may do that at sometime.   It’s good your mum is talking about it and what a brave women to organise her own funeral.     Yes I know people do that as you say they mean well and they feel that’s all they can say.     How are you in this situation is just wrong.   I mean we are talking about terminal cancer not the cold!   However I get why they say it.        Yes I’ve not been anywhere since we found this out I cancelled Xmas nites as I just couldn’t face it why would I want to put myself in that situation.    I can’t do crowds because of anxiety but I just don’t want to be around people being happy when I feel so low and heartbroken.  Yes I notice that people do write things down.       Sending virtual hugs 

Yeah, her jaw swelled up so she went to the dentist for an x-ray and was referred for further scans because they suspected cancer of the bone and those scans revealed lung cancer as the primary cancer and bone metastasis. You just never know.

I have still only told my closest friends and my boss and I only told my friends initially because I knew I would have to explain at some point why I was being distant but it helps to have someone close to let steam off with even if they don't understand exactly how I feel.

Bless you, I can relate to that. In the beginning my mum was quite vocal about it and now she's almost shut down. It's difficult and I miss how close we were.

I am so sorry you feel that way, truly. Taking each day is the best advice, try to make the best of the good days ️

Yes that's exactly how I feel noone actually gets it that's the hard part I know they mean well but I just want to speak to someone who gets it. My mom will be there soon not wanting to do anything but sleep I know it's to come it's awful hard but I guess just knowing your there will help her. I'm glad iv helped you even a little bit today and I'm always here day or night to speak about anything xx

Yes I felt exactly the same wasn't a Christmas to me I pulled my decs down on boxing day I couldn't do it any more I didn't go out over Christmas either it's so hard seeing people laugh and be happy like it's nothing I'm also jealous that they can do that when iv gone days and days with out even a smile or happy though. I don't think it ever realised just how many people are going through this exact same thing right now it's awful to think and the not being able to help in any way is so hard but I'm always here to chat day or night xxx

Thats the same as my mum primary in lung and bone mets.   It’s so strange how life can change so damn quickly.  The week before we found out me & mum were at the shops bumped into someone we know is looking after their terminally ill sister.     As we carried on our shopping me & mum spoke about  how horrible a situation it was  then a week later it’s our door.   Yiou never know and that’s what terrifies me.   When they mention that cancer had showed we of course thought it was the breast cancer back but to hear it was a different just floored me!    I’m always on here so feel free to chat at anytime.   Love to you and your mum

I know what you’re saying you don’t  wish this on anyone but at the same time you don’t want to be going through it yourself either.   I just lost my wee granny suddenly last year too who was like a second mum to me god thst broke me then my mum.   I miss my gran so much but at the same time I’m so glad she’s not here to see what is happening to her own daughter.   There are so many people going through this but if like me there is no one in your immediate circle of family and friends you do feel like it’s  only your family.    I sometimes hate going to sleep as I hate thst feeling first thing in the morning.   I just need my mum so much. .   I’m sorry I’m just getting a bit upset now.   I’m here if you need to talk.   I’m glad I’ve spoke to you both this afternoon.   I just wish none of us were in this position. .  Lots of love to you and your num

Yes absolutely wish I wasn't going through this and I'm so sorry you lost your lovely gran as well it's hard iv lost many many people in what feels like my short life and I have to tell my self all the time that none of us are here forever nobody really knows when will be the last time so makes me live very different to everyone else I appreciate every minute as I know how quick it can be gone I hope you can manage a little rest tonight thank you for chatting with me it's really helped me xx 

I’m here anytime you want to chat.  Take care.