Can't cope

Hey Mona Lisa welcome and sorry you find yourself here.   Having read your post everything you say I think we can all relate too. It’s the most heartbreaking pain.  I found out my mum had this cruel disease at end of November and are still having scans & biopsy still no plan in place hopefully find out next week.  It’s the different emotions you have so up and down one minute it’s anger the next sadness.       It’s the sadness of it all that gets me the most feeling that your parent who is one of the most important people is your life is going through this and their life being limited when they should have years in front of them.    I haven’t told many people at all as my mum is quite private and so I’m i to be honest but I will tell people in my own time.   I can’t be bothered with all the questions being asked really.     I take a lot of comfort from coming on here.   I have also phoned the helpline too. They are great!  I find it better than speaking to people who don’t understand whereas everybody on here gets it.    Some days are better than others I prefer to keep busy but if I sit for too long my mind goes and that’s when I get sad.   Yeah I could sit and drink a bottle wine all the time if I’m honest and try and numb myself  but I then thot I’m going get myself into a mess and I need to stay strong to help and do things for my mum so I capped it.    There are no words that can ever make this better I just wish we could all lift this off our parents and go back to how life was when it normal.  The best thing I can advise to anyone is one day at a time it’s all we can do and be there for our loved ones.  Xx  

Hi lovelies Darling34 Binijac 

Sorry I've been quiet but I have been thinking about you both.

I haven't caught up on the thread, just wanted to check in and see how you were both doing and how your mum's are?

Things have taken a turn for the worst with my mum and it is looking like she is nearing the end so it's been awful to put it lightly. Had some family up to visit this last week and hoping more will be up this coming week.

I wish we had a WhatsApp group so we could chat easier.

Take care ️

Hey reeb

i have been thinking about you and your mum and was wondering if something had happened.  That’s not good news to hear this morning.   I remember the last time we spoke your mum was in Hospital for the operation and you had mentioned immunotherapy.   I hope you are getting plenty of support?      Yeah I’m doing ok have my good and bad days.  Mum ok but the pain not been great so we went and bought a wheelchair.  We are back tomorrow to see consultant my stomach is churning already.  She had to get another biopsy done on her bone mets so tomorrow should be the day to see what they are going do mum was diagnosed end of November!   We will wait and see.  I am thinking about you. 

Hey darling34 I meant to message at weekend time ran away.   How are things with you and your mum?  Hope everything ok. 

Hey Binijac 

There was a bit of indecision from the consultant about whether it was safe to do the operation or not and my mum ultimately decided that she would rather enjoy what time she has left instead of taking the risk.

She has deteriorated since being in the hospital but she is in the best place, as much as I would love to have her home I don't know if it would be the best thing for her as we would be relying on district nurses for breakthrough pain relief whereas the hospital has nurses that can administer it as and when she needs it.

I do have support, it's just an uncertain, unpredictable time and all very confusing.

I'm glad you're okay but sorry to hear your mum is in pain, hopefully the chair will help. Aw bless her, a bone met biopsy isn't nice, I hope she's recovering well. Have they got the results from the biopsy now and is that what will be discussed tomorrow? Fingers crossed they have a plan in place, let me know how it goes.

Lots of love to you both x

Hey reebI feel so sorry this is what it’s came too in such a short space of time it’s so damn unfair.    It’s that constant ache that you want to do more but you can’t.   I know you want your mum home as you had got all her room ready for her coming home but she is better in hospital there are nurses there whenever she needs pain relief she doesn’t need to wait on somebody coming in to do that at certain times.     I’m glad you have support.  Is there not something that can be done about your work though that would allow you to be at the hospital more?        Yes beck to discuss the biopsy tomorrow no it wasn’t nice to have it done snd we ended up backk in hospital last week as she was in so much pain I think the biopsy had unsettled the area.     I’m here anytime.

Hi Binijac 

I'm devastated that it's gone downhill so fast, I really am. Today has been hard, I think now the family has left and I'm at home alone "working" it's sunk in and has allowed me to process a bit.

I'm going to buy a laptop so that I can work from the hospital I think. My boss might allow me the time off but I don't want to jump the gun in case she stabilises and I need time off when it does eventually happen but equally I feel selfish even thinking about work at a time like this.

Ah good so hopefully things can move forward a bit now and they can offer some treatment options. That's awful, where was the biopsy done if you don't mind me asking?

Thank you ️

Hi reeb, I was wondering how you were as well didn't want to feel like I was pestering you I'm more than willing to join a what's app group if you want that's would be nice. The district nurses will have all those meds they give your mam in hospital if you wanted to bring her home my mother had them they are called just incase meds and they can give them day or night. My mother is on long and short acting pain killers now as well she took a turn for the worst in hospital but since coming home and the right medication she's is actually doing really well it's frying my brain if I'm honest because it's like nothing is wrong with her. I'm so sorry you mum isn't doing so good and I just hope she's not in pain and your hanging on in there.im so glad you reached out to chat with us xxx

Hey there I know my weekend just flew by. I was going to message you thought because I knew mam's results were tomorrow I'm really hoping you finally get answers. Did u sort out better pain relief for mam I hope she's getting a bit better from the surgery. Hope your ok. I'm doing ok and mam is actually good she's going for her second biopsy Wednesday now so then wait for the results of that did I tell u she put weight on 8 and half pounds I couldn't believe it but it's almost like a false sense of security it's a strange feeling to get your head around x

That’s the thing when there are people about it does keep you busy and you don’t feel as alone I totally get it.   I think that’s a good idea re the laptop ad you can sit with your mum while your working you’ll feel happier knowing your with her and your mum will be happy your there too.   That’s a good solution as I understand  you don’t want to take time off just now but the fact you can work from the hospital is great and I hope you have an understanding boss that will allow it.     It’s the mets in the pelvis area so they had better have collated all the info for tomorrow because I think I’m going blow up if they say more tests this has been from end of November we are now going into feb and this is spreading in my it’s making me ill I tell you so I really hope and pray they have something positive tomorrow.