Feeling so emotional I don’t know how I can get through this ...

Hello there, I am so sorry you find yourself on this forum and to hear of your wife's diagnosis. I know others will reply to you much more informative and eloquently than me. I just want to say that the fear and guilt you are feeling is entirely normal and something almost all of us have felt. You will find hidden strengths and coping mechanisms. The main thing you need to do apart from supporting your wife and family is that you need to look after yourself.  I wish you all good things and virtual hugs, Pam x

You will get thru it .Already your post shows how much you love your wife and a diagnosis of cancer affects everyone never apologise for being human and showing how much you love someone .A lot of the fear is a fear of the unknown cancer still strikes terror in peoples hearts and things do change but there are so many treatments out there and the docters will do everything to help your wife .Make sure you have a support system in place accept any offers of help and also look after yourself .Good luck to you both and keep posting we wil support you on here .

Hi and a warm welcome to Carers, although I'm sorry to hear what you and your wife are going through. You might like to take a look at this page which gives a lot of information on caring for someone with cancer and how to cope with emotions. If you have the time to go to a group and feel up to it, pop your post code in here  to find local cancer support groups, it's surprising how much face to face support can help. As everyone else is saying, please don't feel guilty, you're perfectly normal. We're here for you whenever you need to 'chat'.

Thinking of you,

Hi Pam ,

Thank you kindly for finding the time to reply. Toughest day with PET scan and a cancer meeting in two different towns. 

Just so tired , I really hope I find that strength, I’m sure it will come.

thanks again for your kind reply.

Ropeygary

Thanks Loobyloo49

I will take a look at what you suggest . I’ve never felt so out of control of a situation and if I’m honest so scared. Today’s meeting has said it looks to have gone to stage 4 . I’m so upset for my wife. She’s my total world , we’ve been together for twenty four years . I just don’t know how to do enough. 

Dear , I am so sorry to hear your news. It's wonderful that you love her so much. I understand the agony of watching the one you love go through hell and feel all at sea. It does settle a bit as you get your head round it, but give yourself time; it's like being emotionally beaten up.

Hugs,

It is so very hard isn’t it!

My partner has terminal brain tumour.

Just trying to be strong in front of him is hard enough. I also am a complete wreck. I live in a dream like state of disbelief. Anger. Sadness. I try to remind myself we only have a short time together and make the most of it. It’s important to have support. Talk, talk and talk again, no one is judging you.

make sure even though you are in emotional shock, that you see your GP and discuss any support you can get. Eat little and often,  even though you probably have no appetite. Sleep. I know this sounds difficult. I have spent two months hardly eating and sleeping. You will feel better if you follow this I promise.

Try not to google. And if you do just look at the positive scenarios. If you need a friend just add me, totally understand how you are feeling

Hi Gary, so very sorry to hear of your situation and I can totally sympathise. When you say your wife is your total world that is exactly how I feel - we have been married for 30 years and the thought of her not being here is too tough to bear.

I really hope you learn to cope with the situation. I have had the same feelings as you - scared and out of control, for almost 12 months and each day is a case of just getting through. I have had counselling sessions which do seem to help so can advise on those if you feel you need them. 

Will be in touch again. Take care

Kev 

I’m so sorry to hear of your situation but I totally totally get everything you say. I’m in pieces but staying strong ( in front of ) my family. Thank you for the sage advice re food and sleep. Take good care of yourself. X

oh and I’m definitely staying off google !

Hi Kev,

mate , I’m with you 100% . My wife and myself have been together for 26years and she is the absolute world to me . I’ve started counselling as well. Certainly doesn’t hurt. 

It is so tough, so very tough.

stay strong friend. 

Thanks

Gary