Hello everyone
my name is Nic and I care for my wife who has secondary breast cancer. It’s in her Jaw, spine where is caused a fracture and also crumbling vertebrae, her pelvis, and her liver. Apparently, all the chemo she had first time around she was resistant to.
we have been told that two years is ambitious. We now live 12 weeks at a time waiting to see if the chemo is working on her liver or not. These last few months have been a whirl wind of appointments, meetings, scans, processing, having the house made safe including a stair lift which we paid for as cannot would not wait for a grant. We are on top of things at the moment and are both positive with spatterings of out of nowhere tears which usually happen when we are out and having a nice time. I have Asperger’s and wonder if this makes things easier for me as my mind is a bit different! I still work full time as I am so lucky to work from home, and am able to do all the chores. My wife is also doing what she is able to and it really helps. Now we have the house in order she finds it much better getting about. Upstairs is a mirror of downstairs with walkers and hand holds. I have to say that everyone has been totally amazing and things happened so quickly for us. There are a lot of positive things to consider but I cannot help preemptive grieving now and then. Friends are brilliant (these are her friends) keeping her busy with chatting and visits, we hope they will be able to take her out soon with a new walker which turns into a wheelchair! Family have been wonderful too, our children whilst upset have really stepped up and visit often. Not sure where I am going with this now, just wanted to say hi. I may sound positive but trust me we both have our moments and decided that o not hide anything no matter the time. We have a camper van which, with some adjustments will be our little bit of heaven again this year. Life was perfect before cancer came. Sure most of you will feel the same
Hi NicM
Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both informative and supportive.
Sounds like you both have done really quite well coping with such a remarkable change from what you expected. Get the bit about sometimes crying when not really expecting it; I finally came to peace with the idea it was just love overflowing from my eyes.
Our son is autistic and one thing we were always clear on was being open with him, it is not always easy but anything less would be unfair.
<<hugs>>
Steve
