Hi,
I'm struggling to know how to cope with my mum at the moment. She has been through absolute hell from bowel surgery, and still has secondary cancer in her liver. She is being assessed for mental health help and I have given up my job to become her carer. My mum lives with me and my husband so I am literally with her 24/7 doing everything possible to help her, meals, meds, appointments, staying up at night to comfort her if needed....always on the phone if she's not feeling well and getting doctors and ambulances etc when needed. But, she keeps getting setbacks that are preventing her from having chemo....a hernia, strange temperature spikes, digestion issues, and now today another infection. I know she is on the floor with this, but she has started getting really angry with me and tonight threw the TV remote in temper. She is constantly threatening suicide, and because of her recent experience with medics dosnt seem to trust them. Every time I sit down and try and discuss how I can help her, she blocks the suggestion......her talk is nothing but miserable and moaning, and then if I quietly walk away to let her calm down, I get a load of nasty verbal abuse such as " go on....trot off....you're not the one who is going through this hell.....my own daughter won't even help me". She has mental health issues, but if I ever get upset about her behaviour she accuses me of picking a fight with an old lady who has cancer. The feeling of guilt I'm living with is mounting up. I'm not allowed to socialise any more, so am trying to keep in touch with friends on text. My husband is doing his best to keep me propped up, but he has just been diagnosed with an unseen disability, and has very high anxiety as a result. I'm just recovering with shingles from all this recent stress......any tips to help me get through this. Doctor, mental health team, Macmillan nurses and support line plus local authority are all aware of our situation, but not much help is actually being provided. I need some coping strategies!!!
Hi Knowledgeispower20, sorry to hear about what you and your mum are going through. I did find this page on anger and frustration and it might be helpful to contact your local mind as I understand their referral although more limited that the NHS is generally quicker to access.
<<hugs>>
Steve
