My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa
Oh Gayle - what lovely little lads you have.....they sound so loving and caring. And Ewan is right you do have lots of lovely happy memories!!!! The realisation that Daddy is no longer with you all is emphasised I think when Father's Day comes round - most of their classmates have someone to make cards for........... I miss my Dad so very much but it didn't hit me until the day before that this year I had no-one to send a card to!! So in the end I wrote one to Alan thanking him for our sons.........
Good on you for ignoring the comments on f/b........
Sending you and your lovely boys love and lots of comforting (((((((((hugs))))))))))
Dot xxxxxxxxxxx
Has anyone else seen the BBC report about a young Emperor Penguin 'taking a wrong turn' and landing in North Island, New Zealand........ Poor thing!! Maybe we ought to waddle on down there to huddle round him and point him in the right direction!!! He certainly kept swimming!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope this raised a smile for you all.....xxxx
Gayle well done on getting through 2 tough days and what lovely boys you have xxxx
Ailsa cant say anymore, how awful for the little boy`s family. I have no doubts you ll find some way to support them. Take care of you too xxx
Lynne so pleased you got to talk to step daughters, fingers crossed it continues xx
Glad the weekend is over, we took my mother and father in law out for lunch on Sunday but had so many tears Saturday night on my own. Really miss Paul so much still xxx
Love the picture Sue!!!
Penguins......just keep swimming!!!!!
Lots and lots of love
Helen xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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