My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

See - of all the people I missed it had to be you Patricia.  Thank you for the earlier message - saying you had thought of me a few times this weekend.  I hope you are okay as well.  Take care.  Ailsa xxx

Evening everyone.  I have just popped on to pass on a message from Fiona.  She is still very much wrapped up taking care of her Dad who isn't very well.  That makes it difficult for her to get on here and I know she is missing everyone and all the support but she will be back as soon as she can.  She sends her love.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xxx

evening all

Ailsa I am glad you managed to make it through the weekend with the support of your family and also impressed that you managed to keep decorating, i imagine the distraction helped.

Sending hugs to fiona, so busy looking after her dad.

well, i am still full of cold but seem to be improving rapidly so hopefully will be able to get back to running soon.

take care all

becky

Hi everyone

Ailsa well done again on getitng through last weekend. I have passed the 2 year mark too, yesterday, I got lovely flowers and a card of in laws even when they`re hurting passing the anniversary too and got so many lovely texts and messages yesterday. Thank you, it does help so much xxx Had a night out with my son and daughter last night in our local and quite a few of Paul s friends joined us to raise a glass or 3!!!

Hope you re feeling better now Gayle, your kitten is so cute. As we ve all said so glad we all met and look forward to more get togethers.

Becky hope you re feeling better. And Fiona sending you more hugs xxxxx

Sue so sorry to hear about your friend. Life is so cruel.

Big hugs to everyone who here, thank you for your friendship and support over the last 2 years xxxxx Just keep swimming!!! xxx

Helen and Ailsa, glad you have managed to survive the 2nd anniversary. ((((hugs)))) to get you through the next few weeks x x x

Becky, keep smiling. I hope you are feeling a little better by now.

Fiona, I hope your dad is a little better.

Thinking of you all and sending supportive ((((((hugs))))))

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Hi everyone

thankyou for your well wishes, the cold was not too bad afterall, but did put a stop to my jogging. bad timing considering the 10km is next sunday!

The really scary thing was friday evening, i got what i think was a migrane, its only the 2nd one i have ever had. I was at work and my vision went funny, like having a large spot of water on your glasses but it flickered and got in the way of trying to look at anything, so i had to give up on what I was doing at th computer and left work early. I sat out in the car, away from the artificial lights until my vison was better and the headache was starting, then drove home. But on the way my hands started tingling especially my left and went a bit numb. i took some painkillers and tried to relax, but with so many neurological symptoms you start to wonder if its something else, more serious and very aware of being alone. I know all sorts of people live alone but i never have. I love my cat but he can't dial 999! the whole episode ended with an hour of abdominal cramping. but after about 3 hours of all these various symptoms all I had left was a bit of a headache and feeling very alone.  One problem with this is I also need to stop the pill i was hoping would even out my hormones, and if a can't manage them without help it only really leaves antidepressants, i have been resisting so hard so far (personal reasons, seen cllose family who have behaved a little oddly with them).

Anyway I am glad to report that I was much better from both cold and migrane yesterday and managed to do a 4km jog. though the air was really heavy. it went ok,, a bit further tomorrow after work.

Helen i am glad you have come through the 2nd anniversary ok, glad you manage to mark the occation with family and friends with remeberance and a nice drink.

to everyone else who has dates looming, big hugs, one day at a time, and just keep swimming.

for all those just struggling for whatever reason hugs for you too.

and for those doing ok, don't question it, its not wrong, and you can have some hugs too.

becky

Dear All,

The Bereaved Partners Support Group will be holding its next session on Monday 16^th May. The Bereaved Partners Support Group (BPSG) is a support group for people who have lost their partners to cancer. The aim of the group is to create a regular space for people to share stories and experiences with others who have experienced a similar kind of loss. It will be held at the Vale Community Centre in northwest London from 6:30pm – 8:30pm.

We aim to show people they are not alone in their grief and to support them through their loss. This month we will have the chance to share experiences over refreshments, and as requested will also be discussing practical tips and advice to help people during their difficult journey with grief. A constant element of the group is space – the space is there for you to talk, listen, or simply to be. If you are bereaved please do feel free to come along. We are here to support you. And please do spread the word to anybody you think may benefit from the group.

Please see our website for details:

www.bereavedpartnerssupportgroup.com

Best wishes,

Erin Thompson

erin.thompson@bereavedpartnerssupportgroup.com

07761-466-713

Evening everyone.  How is everyone keeping?  Becky your symptoms sounded very alarming to me but I have never suffered a migrane so have nothing to compare it to.  I have heard of all sorts of symptoms including most of those you had but it still sounded pretty awful.  I am glad you recovered well enough to have a jog.  I am so impressed - 4km?!  Very good luck with the run next Sunday - I will be thinking of you and cheering you along.

Helen I am so glad you were able to spend time with friends & family while you made your way through the 2nd anniversary of losing Paul.  It is so lovely that people watch out for you & care for you like that.  I still find it very strange that I hear nothing at all from any of Chris's family at this time.  I suppose everyone has their different ways of dealing with it but I find their behaviour very strange.

How are you Patricia?  I haven't seen or heard much from you lately although it sounds as though you had a nice time last weekend.  I am still trying to finish decorating my staircase - how slow am I on my own? lol.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xxx

Ailsa, your decorating will get finished because you are a very determined lady. As for myself, things came to a standstill as I have been unwell but hope to resume normal (ish) service as soon as possible.

Becky I hope you are feeling a bit better now. Migraine is a terrible thing when it is full blown like yours seem to have been.

Fiona, I hope your dad is doing ok. Such a worry. Take care of yourself too. Are you getting plenty of 'Charlie' hugs?

Bren, how is the weather over there in Canada? Today we have blue skies with the fluffiest 'Simpson's' clouds. It looks beautiful.  Look after yourself and try not toi work too hard x x

Dot, I hope you are feeling a little better. I know things are a little difficult att he moment ((((special hugss))))

I hope everyone who posts here is having the best day they can.(sorry I have not named everyone but I have mush fro brains right now).

As I am meant to be asleep right now (on nights) I better close but will call in again soon.

Take care all

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Hi Patricia

We have spring finally!  It is amazing that in a few days, all the buds and green and flowers popping up.  It is just beautiful here today.  It has been a busy time.  I went to see John Edward in Toronto with a friend and her 2 sisters on the weekend.  We decided to get a hotel for Friday night and it was good to get away but I felt like the odd one out, not knowing the sisters very well and them being family.  It really made me feel so alone even though they were all friendly and welcoming and not meaning to make me feel like an outsider.  Mother's day was on Sunday and that is another day that is a tough one for me as I tried so hard and for so long to be a mother. 

Then today, one of my students got hurt and we had to call an ambulance for him.  Mom was at work and asked if someone could go to the hospital with him.  I went in my car and got there before the ambulance, Mom was already there so I stayed with her until they arrived.  It was the first time I had been in that hospital since Danny died there.  I didn't even think of that until I was parking the car, then it was omg what did I just do?  It was hard to be there, we spent many many hours in that emergency room but it was also another step for me.  It was not someone I am close to and that was easier but I did need to take some time to sort myself out before returning to work. 

Ailsa and Helen I was thinking of you both on your second anniversaries.  So hard to believe, I am past 18 months now.  Sending hugs.