A little bit of support needed or light humour …if anyone’s around

Hi 
Im not going to say happy birthday cos obviously its not happy.... but thats fine, theres always next year and you never know where you will be mentally by then
Its ok to feel like this, its ok to be sad and cry. And sometimes you just need to let go and stop pretending for everyone else that youre ok. 
When you're grieving there are no rules and no time limits and no special ways that people think is better or worse. 
To lose someone who is a huge part of your life takes some adjusting to and it will never go away or get better but you will slowly learn be better with how it is from now on. 
Birthdays and xmas are always going to be hard they carry a lifetime of memories and they are the times you wish you could be with the people that have gone the most. But remember them and see past the tears and know they wouldnt want you to be sad or lonely only full of the happiness and love ( and all the other emotions) that filled your time with them. 
You arent ever really alone, they are with you in the thousand little things that remind you of them. 
Its hard to believe but one day those tiny things will bring you a small smile not tears. 
Sending you love and hugs M 

Thank you i thought I was doing ok today but Im not  at the moment just your words and knowing someone is here and speaking from experience and with understanding helps. 

Thank you 

It's just a little silly of me too I'm a grown woman crying about not having him here but you all get it x 

I’m sending you huge hugs. I know how much you are missing your man, and the life you had together. Sometimes, it is just too overwhelming. It is so so hard and it is heartbreaking. Sending kind thoughts. Kate. Xxx

Not silly at all. I feel for you. Tonight I have university challenge on tv. We always watched it and I cant quite get that this is going on without him. It's brought it home to me that my routines ceased to exist or rather became a carer's routine. And now I'm all at sea. 

Birthdays, and other anniversaries, are all very difficult.

My wife loved birthdays, and always made a big effort. So when the dates come around now, I just try to cope. 

My wife died about 22 months ago - but I am still struggling with everything. We managed a big holiday a few months before she finally died, and my phone has recently been reminding me of that by presenting me with various collages of photos. Of course, some of the memories are good, but the entire experience is very bittersweet - and I mostly wish that my phone would keep its opinions to itself ...

None of the above will provide you with any help, but I hope at least you will feel that you are not on your own. This is an awful position to be in - but we are all in it.

I send you love, best wishes - and hope.