My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Rosemary, hot choc sounds good x x x

Manda, don't try to shake off those feelings hun, they are all part and parcel of what you are going through. So sorry your evening was marred with sadness but then we all know how that feels don't we? Get yourself into the centre of the huddle with your coffee and Bailey's. These arms of mine are streetching to keep you safe.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Thanks Patricia, I'm doing okay.  You know what its like - I have to go at a million miles an hour or then I have time to think.  Manda, I know that feeling.  I hate family gatherings now and not sure when it will get better but I am sure it will one day.  I too am having a lot of moments just now because my first year anniversary is looming.  This time last year on this Saturday coming up Wully got out of the hospice (he had been in for 9 weeks) and got home for almost 5 weeks before he went back in and then died 4 days later.  I think because it was Fathers Day he died as well it is worrying me because I know I will start seeing reminders everywhere very soon when all the shops start displaying all the fathers day cards.  Just need to keep strong and get through it - what choice do I have?  I'm looking forward to going to Manchester next week - Manda - do you have ideas about eating out before the show?  Lynne sent me a message today to say she is having a fantastic time and that she is keeping up with our posts on her phone.  Not sure Benidorm knows what has hit it!!! :-)

Take care everyone and sending you special cyber hugs Manda.

Gayle xxx

big hugs Gayle XXXX

Hello everyone,

I booked another holiday!!!  Do you think it is safe for me to go abroad :-)  My mum and dad were going away in August for 2 weeks to our flat in Spain (we have a studio that the whole family and some friends own) and I was panicking as it meant no babysitters for 2 weeks lol.  Anyway, I then thought about going away for one of the weeks with the boys and decided to go to a resort near to the flat owned by the same people who owned the resort in Tenerife.  I told my mum and dad and they thought it was a good idea although it is about 40 mins from them.  Anyway, to cut a long story short my mum phoned last night to say they would come with me for that week to the resort then go to the flat if I wanted.  I feel 15 again going on holiday with my parents all the time so its just as well we are close!!  Wully and I used to go away with them a lot anyway so kind of used to it as we have done it for years.  So I booked a 2 bed apartment for us all to share and booked my flights.  It looks lovely and I know the area really well so looking forward to it.

Lynne asked me to pass on that she is home tomorrow and has had a fantastic time but has been missing all the penguins like mad.  Can't wait to hear all about it.

Take care everyone.

Gayle xxx

Evening everyone.  I am home safe and sound.  I got home just before midnight last night and had to be up at 6 for work so no doubt I will be shattered by bedtime tonight.  I'm not bothered as a full life makes a big difference to how we feel I think.  I am going to my mum & dad's shortly for tea.  They are going to Scotland tomorrow for a couple of weeks holiday.  I think they might be going ahead to warn my family I am on my way up in September!!!

Gayle well done booking another holiday in the sun for August.  With Father's Day looming you do just right having things to look forward to.  Your mum & dad sound really lovely so it is great that you get on well enough with them to go on holiday with them.  How is your mum shaping up as an employee?  She sounds like a life saver.

Hi Patricia - you are always so encouraging.  I hope you are okay.  When Lynne gets back we will have to plan our meet at Meadowhell.  It sounds like Lynne has had a good break in Benidorm.  I've missed her posts so it will be nice to have her back and hear how her dad is doing.

Manda I hope you are feeling a little better.  The 'this time last year' feelings are awful so I'm sending you lots of ((((((hugs)))))).

Rosemary - now I know the ledge is real I am looking forward to seeing pictures of it.  I keep thinking about your instructions to eat dark chocolate and drink coffee because they will be good for my memory - I don't need much of an excuse but now I have one there is no stopping me.  The daily dose of dark chocolate is alongside my cholestrol lowering drink as if it is medicine!!

I hope everyone else is okay this evening.  It is still very cold here and there was a frost again this morning.  Fiona how is your wee cat doing?  Do you get to see him while he is getting big enough to come to live with you?

Best get round to my parents.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xx

http://www.wikio.com/video/simon-cat-fly-guy-1450825  From Dave the cat to Catface and GingerKit xxx

That was hilarious Rosemary and so true!  I remember my cat caught a fly once and was eating it and all you could hear was that buzzing coming from its mouth lol.

G xx

Evening everyone

Had a busy week and shattered tonight, but feeling good xxx Went to see a psychic on Monday, she was very good and got a few things I could relate to. Still could be general in some cases but enjoyed it. Tuesday I went to the pics with a friend to see Nightmare on Elm Street and went for something to eat. Lovely night x Tomorrow night doing Ladies Night Walk for hospice Paul was treated at so need an early night tonight

Manda and Gayle big hugs to you. Gayle we re all here for your anniversary and get you through it xx I actually feel so much better this week following last week. Our latest total is £2732 so we are now trying to get to the big £3000. Think we are going to do a car boot sale.

Lynne sounds like she s having a great time xx Looking forward to hearing all her news too xx

Ailsa I dont think you ll ever slow down lol think we re all as bad as each other on that one but it helps so much to be busy x

Esme I missed the drinks last night, will have one next time.

Love to everyone else, hope you re all ok

Helen xxx

If this works then this is the view from the ledge - sunset not brilliant but just about there. 

<a href="http://s5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/EsmeW/?action=view&current=006.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/EsmeW/006.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

<a href="http://s5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/EsmeW/?action=view&current=008.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y200/EsmeW/008.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

Ok hitting "post" button now....... I wonder if anyone can see the pictures (if not I'm on the next train to Sue's for help!!)

Hmpf!  Well at least they show quite well if you click the link - cheers m'dears, Baileys being opened, coffee being poured .....