Completely heartbroken

Hi Alyg sending huge big hugs your way and know that others are thinking of you. Gail x

Yes We are all sending hugs I’m sure of that …

I’ve just written waffled some thing similar on another post it really is awful not sure if I can say rude words on here so best not to but my husband used to say you’ll be okay too I know I’m not and yes I’ve read your post and it made me cry to. 

Life is very hard at the moment  9 wks for me 

You will get support and advice and a listening ear on here though and share away get it off your chest hope you manage to get some rest tonight eventually . 

Hello, 12 weeks on Saturday for me. I am a teacher and started my 6 week holiday today. Andy, would be bouncing with glee that we got to spend so much time together. I have spent the week crying and dreading today at the thought of this time completely alone. I am trying to get out, see people as I know that this is what he wants but I stand in this alternative universe where I am numb but emotional at the same time.

I speak to him all the time and he tells me to be brave and to keep going but today for the first time, I had the thought that I didn’t want to be here without him. The roar I got in my head was loud and I know I can’t have these thoughts because it is letting him down but the pain is so real.

I smile at his silly jokes and get outside where he loved to be with our dog and i just keep shuffling. I feel your pain and it is reassuring to know that there are others who understand my pain, hurt, need and I send my love to all of you.

Sorry you've had to find yourself here. Understanding everything you say, dreading the school holidays too.

Sending strength x

Sending more hugs and strength to you AlyG x

I talk to my beautiful Valen all the time. 
When I go out I ask him to “keep an eye out for those pesky pigeons” (I place his casket facing out the conservatory window in the daytime). 
When I eventually go to bed I sit and tell him what I’ve done, or not done all day. 
When I’m in the kitchen furtling about in cupboards and fridge to tempt me to eat something other than crisps I ask him “what’s for supper then?”. 
In the garden I keep up a stream of observations. 

I know I’m not alone doing this, thanks to this forum, so know I’m not odd, mad or both!

Its coming up to 10 months now. Which just doesn’t seem at all possible and feels like only yesterday. 
Everything is still so raw. 
But I am functioning a bit better.  I wouldn’t say coping any better, but certainly day to day functioning is becoming more automatic.