My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi everyone.  Thought I would pop on just before I have a bath and pack for my next jaunt down the M1.

A special hi to Lynne G.  I am so sorry to hear about you losing your husband.  Definately not the best reason for making new friends but we are all friends on here and do our very best to support each other through the dark and bewildering times.  We also manage to cheer each other up as well as we each know how this feels.  Try to take full advantage of offers of help and look after yourself as much as you can Lynne.

Judi it sounds like you may be on the road to recovery but so annoying that it took up your whole weekend.  I have had another good day on the garage and took an even bigger load to the tip.  Like Stu I am actually enjoying this task.  It really feels good to be doing something for Chris.  I know it is for me really but it was Chris's space and will always feel like that to me.  Toni was home this evening to see me and she was amazed at my progress.  I can't wait for next weekend to have a go at sealing the concrete floor and then garage floor painting it lol!!  What a thing to get excited about.  It is a shame you can't go to Manchester in June but it won't be all that long until I'm up in Glasgow in September to meet up with you, Teri & Fiona.

Helen hope tomorrow evening goes well.  Let us know what is said.

Lynne I still have everything crossed in the hopw you get off tomorrow for your break.  It is a shame your Dad is still feeling so bad.  Maybe he will pick up a bit by the time you get back home.

I hope everyone else is okay this evening.  I can't remember if anything else has been said so I will finish here for now.  Take care.  Ailsa xx

hi

Lynne G - welcome and so sorry you have to be here.  It is still very early for you, please let people take care of you as much as  you can.

Lynn and Fiona I do hope your Dads are feeling better soon, it is such a worry for you and Lynne hope you get off ok, enjoy the holiday.

Ailsa, well done on the garage.  That is a huge job and no doubt lots of memories.  Good for you.

I have spent a very quiet weekend, that seems to be the norm after a busy one, the next one or two are lonely but have survived and the sun has finally come out just in time to go down soon.  So another week and hopefully I will pull myself back up again, thanks Patricia, that was a great chat.

Wishing you all a good week and sending lots of huge hugs.

Bren

Welcome LynneG, so sorry for your deep sadness. It is a terrible road you are now travelling. If it ianything like the road most of us are on it is a very  up and down winding road which just goes on and on. We are all here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on.

ailsa, well done on your motivation. Well done you. I hope you have a good visit with Rosemary.

Judi, poor you. It is not funny when you feel so rubbish is it?get well soon. 

Lynne I hope you get off on your trip. Have a fab time if you do. Hope your poor dad soon feel a little more like his old self. He must feel so miserable.

Fiona, take care of yourself hun I worry about you. I hope your dad feels a bit better. I hate the thought of my dad being ill. He is not as well as he would like us to believe but he gets by. Love him to bits.

Bren, let us hope the coming week is a little better than the weekend eh?

Helen, you are a typical mum and worry about your boy x x

Manda, Lesley, Dottee, everyone else, sleep well and have a good day tomorrow if you can.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Morning all - what a chatty lot you've been this weekend!!

First of all may I add my welcome to Lynne G - I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.  As has been said by others here we each listen, hug, pass virtual tissues, rant, rave, scream and shout about the unfair of this existence - living with c..... or it's aftermath......... Please keep calling by there's always someone around to guide you away from the pit/black hole/darkness xxxxx

Ailsa - you're doing a grand job in your garage....I cna't get into mine as it's stashed full of boxes of books and ornaments while the builders are doing their stuff in the bungalow!!!!  I really must be strong and get rid of more stuff - but everything in those boxes is loaded with memories of Mum and my grandparents - so how can I get rid of them????? 

Judi - I hope your red nose is less red today and eyes less watery???  How many trees tissues have you snuffled into???  On second thoughts that may be too much detail!!!!  Your fuschias sound like they were the tender fancy ones???  Lots of frills and flounces???  If so they may be beyond salvation...... however don't give up hope yet.  Have you looked really closely at them ??  You may be lucky and find a little bit of a new bud right down low on the branches.  If so cut each branch back to just above the fattest of the new buds....Scrape out a couple of inches of compost and replace with fresh, then feed and water well and cross your fingers!!!!  Alternatively, just ditch it into the compost bin and buy a new one!!!  But go for a hardy variety which should withstand the cold weather.- however, given that your winters are so much colder than down here I would also invest in some fleece or bubble wrap to wrap it up in especially if you don't have a greenhouse to keep it in.

Lynne - hope you're on your way to sunnier places this morning - flights are looking 'iffy' - but I'm sure you'll get there........We no longer have our boat otherwise I'd have offered to take you by sea!!!!  Sorry your Dad is feeling down right now - hope he soon picks up again......

Helen - take it easy for a few days now and look after yourself.  I'm sure you will soon find another challenge to focus on......

Sorry - the retired brain cell is now refusing to function so I can't remember any more.  I think I've done well to get this far!!!!

Wishing and hoping that you all (including also Rosemary, Patricia, Lesley and anyone else I've not named) have as good a day as you can........

Sending you all much love and many comforting (((((hugs)))))

Dot xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Aww Dot, I so love reading your posts. they are supportive, informative and amusing. You are hiding behind humour again aren't you? You clever lady.How are you and Alan this fine spring day? I hope the 'retired' brain cell is taking a good rest. My brain cells are unable to retire as they are beyond redemption having turned to mush. Any helpful suggestions please?? answers on a postage stamp.

I hope everyone is managing to do whatever they had planned and if not (((((hugs))))).

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Hi all from sunny benidorm , cant believe we actually got here an its so hot , its lovely .. Thank you all for your lovely messages , i.m trying not to to worry about getting back . i.ll cross that bridge whn i come to it and call on Gayle to help lol .. Take care all. i´m trying to keep up with your posts , i cqn tdo without you all   .. Lynne xxxxxxx

Go, girl! have a wonderful time.

It's freezing here -make the most of it.

stay safe

sue xx

Lynne, glad to hear you made it.  Enjoy

Thats great to hear you made it safely Lynne and it sounds great - sun and beer what more could you want!

I´m up in Aberdeen again this week so shattered today with all the driving so having a lazy night in my wee flat.  Its so handy having it here though as I just brought my own ready meal with me as it has a fully fitted kitchen in it.  Back home tomorrow though which is good. 

Take care everyone

Gayle xx

Dear Patricia - you know me so well!!!  Yep I've turned the humour on to 'high' as I've already had a major melt-down last week about the building works.......It's absolute chaos here - but everyone keeps telling me '...it will be worth it in the end...'!  That's if we ever find an end!!!!!!  I keep sending Alan off on 'errands' and family visiting trips just to keep him out of the way.........Otherwise he's in there with the builders - in the way - poor love!!!!  He's sussed out a new place to go fishing (well it's new to him) - not too far away from home - just wish the weather would warm up for him to go.  It gets awfully cold sitting by water.......Son Number 1 has said he may go too - to carry gear for his Dad - and also to go for a walk and take photos........I can't see him sitting for hours watching a line dangling in the water!!!!

Mushy brain cells????  Sorry can't help there....perhaps someone else has an answer????

Lynne - so pleased to see that you made it..........wouldn't mind a little bit of warmth - but I'm not greedy and can't stand really hot temperatures........A fair little flower - that's me!!!!!

Hope everyone else has had a good day today ....

Love and ((((hugs)))))

Dot xxxxxxxxxxxx