My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Love and angel hugs to everyone x x x  Patricia x x x

Good morning everyone x x I hope today is a better one for you all x x x

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Hi Patricia, angels are hugging you too lovely lady.  Had a lovely surprise from the angel cards today, I was looking at a photo of my dear, lovely old dog who died November 2007 and I just said to him "Are you still with me mate?  I hope you are" just beside him were the cards so I got them out and was shuffling them asking if Jaydog was still by my side, as I shuffled them they slipped and one fell out so I looked at that one and it said "Yvonne - You have a special bond with animals, your pets on Earth and in Heaven are watched over by angels - your love for them keeps them by your side forever"  That was so lovely and made me happy, but then I went out to take my Polo for it's MOT and was waiting for Daniel to give me a lift back home when a lady walked on the other side of the road with her big black labrador (Jay was a black lab x GSD), I noticed them and then saw as they drew level the dog was looking across at me and had stopped, the lady was trying to get him going.  I laughed and said would she mind if I came and said hello to him, which of course she didn't.  We had a few minutes chatting and the lab was lovely and just looked at me with those big brown eyes and it was just special.  I don't know, probably being very soppy but it's lovely to think my Jaydog was saying a special "Hello I'm with you Mum" because that also means he's with Steve and he's right beside me too.

So long story and a bit of a ramble but I thought I would share it with you all.  Now I'm off to put the wheelie bin down the end of the drive ready for the morning.... will be back later xxxxxx

rosemary , thats beautiful , big hugs xxx

Hi everyone (especially Jenni)

Mum and Dad left this morning - and you guessed it, it started snowing!!  My mother is now absolutely convinced there is conspiracy theory about them drining to or from Aberdeen!  But it only lasted an hour or so thankfully. 

Rosemary, I love that Jaydog showed you exactly how much he is still watching over you.

Can't believe poor Gayle's struggle to get home - she sounds as if she is keeping it all together very well.  I know that in situations like this there is nothing anyone can do but I still take my hat off to her for remaining so upbeat about the situation. 

Well I managed to have a long 'keep it as light as possible' chat with my dad to try and get him to stop constantly worrying about me and how I am.  I think that he maybe understands a little better now and that makes me happier.  I know how much I worry about every decision Boy makes (Rosemary .... any of this sound familiar!!) so I do understand that Dad will do the same, I just need him to know that although I am at times in 'bits' I am actually stronger than he thinks and will be fine.  I told him about how much you guys gee me up and I think he now understands that in all honesty it is only those of us unfortunate to be in this situation really 'get it' and can therefore truly keep the others right. 

This week I am out for supper tomorrow night, am working at a University debate (sponsored by my firm) on Thursday and am having the girls round for supper on Friday .......  just call me Ailsa!!  I will be sleeping all weekend I think.

Am off to get my new tax disc online - oh the excitement of my life! lol. 

Speak to all soon.  Love Judi xxx

P.S. Fiona - is your laptop still behaving??  

Hi Everone , Rosemary that bought atear to my eye , but thats easy to do really . I've been reading through what you sent me again , they really are spot on , i was reading them with my DIL when you sent them on sat and she was amazed how they seem to have picked the turmoil of making a decision . But i've made this one and i'm sticking to it , i'm quite enthusiastic and cant wait to get started . My boss says she knows a man who could be quite handy to me (sounds rude that but its not meant to lol ) so i'm going to give him a ring and see if he can help me get my head round the jobs i want to do .

Judi SNOW now what is it with scotland and snow this year but it has been really cold here today , i was sat sun bathing sat how can things change so quick , probaly a bit like all of us , up and down  ... I hope Gayle gets home this time , i know she said she was waiting for a flight on thurs now but it seems things are changeing all the time , and if she gets on a boat with a ship full of sailors i wont be impressed lol ..

Patricia , i know your sending your angel hugs but are you ok ? .. Had a better day at work today (well it couldn't get any worse)

Dad has had his stiches out but i dont thonk the op has done what it should have done , he was very down today , he's back at the hospital wed so maybe we'll find out more whats happening then ..

Anyway must get to bed , on early in the morning .. Love to all  Lynne xxx

Hi Everyone, been struggling a bit today, have tried to shake it off but no luck :(

Lynne I'm sorry to hear your Dad's op hasn't done what it should, hope you can get some answers on Weds. Glad that work has been better for you though! I am intriged by you talk of changing plans again... you can tell me all about it on Saturday. xx 

Rosemary your post hit home with me... We lost our white german shepherd to pancreatic cancer in june 2008 and Miles said he knew he would be waiting for him with a wagging tail. I do so hope they have found eachother. xx

Have you really had snow again Judes? It's been a pretty grotty day here and we said winter had made a comeback, but I hoped we'd seen the last of the whitestuff for a while! xx

I read this on a blog today and it reminded me of how Miles tried to live... thought you might like it too...

“I’ll go out there and make my mistakes. I’ll fall down, get hurt, cry, laugh, love, and get back up. I’ll stand on the highest mountaintop and go into the deepest caverns. I’ll roam across the world, visit the moon and swim in outer space. I’ll let my imagination run wild and let my spirit soar. Why? Because when my life flashes before my eyes in those final moments, I want to have something worthwhile to watch, with plenty of love and laughter, good times and bad. I don’t want to regret a thing and I plan not to. Remember, it’s not usually the things you do that you regret, it’s the things you don’t do and leave unsaid. Laugh out loud. Cry in the rain. Love with all your heart and soul. Get hurt. Tell the truth. Go crazy. But never forget that you only get one shot. One shot at this day, one shot at this minute. One shot at this age. One shot at life. So make sure your life is one you will enjoy watching in your final moments.”
- Anna Floyd

Much love to you all, Manda xx

Morning xxx

Cant believe I m awake at this time!! Had another meeting for Paul s fundraising night last night and all going to plan but all swimming round my head!!

Amanda thanks for sharing that, really lovely and maybe something for us all to live by too xxx

I m intrigued now, just being nosey!! What s happening Saturday??

Sorry you re feeling down Manda, it is soooo tough. At least we all keep fighting it, not sure what else we can do xx

Lynne ditto what Manda said, so frustrating for your dad. Fingers crossed for Wednesday x

Hope everyone has a good Tuesday

Bug higs, Helen xxx

Morning all - Perce and I are still on patrol..........so am leaving lots of ((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) to comfort you all today.......

Manda - I couldn't have put it better.................live life to the full - laughing and crying in the rain??  Who can tell if you are when the sky is crying too (my son's thoughts on rain when he was a wee tot).....but make sure you make a big splash in the puddles too!!!!!!!!!!

Love and more (((((((hugs)))))))))

Dot xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Evening All,  Amanda enjoyed reading you blog, it's all so true. Hope you are feeling better Amanda, i struggled on Sunday but feeling a bit better now. Lynne please pm me and let me know what plan g is. Hope your dad gets on ok tomorrow at hospital. Judi more snow, well it's been very very cold here need heating on again in shop. Laptop doing fine. Hope everyone else is doing ok tonight. Had a friend down for coffee tonight so passed the night. Darren getting on ok at his job a lot busier than the last garage he worked at. I was looking after Charlie this morning for an hour before i went to work, he is growing so fast. Well i am away to make my coffee before bed. Luv and Hugs to you all. Fiona xxxxxxxxx