My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Good luck with the meal tonight Manda. lets hope yu don't get 'grilled'. x x x

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Evening and hugs to everyone ((()))

Didnt get on last night as went out for St Patricks night. I know .....on a school night!!! But it was a night Paul and I loved and his best mate rang to see if I would go out with them all. Was a bit apprehensive and it was ok sort of, Liam came with me but Richard (Paul`s mate) got quite emotional so that set me off which got Liam concerned but they were ` good` tears that we all talk about although wished more than anything Paul was there with us xxx Then got asked by someone we hadnt seen for ages was I still with Paul??? He was obviously gutted that he d asked me but he didnt know, just not what I needed last night x

Anyway been a bit flat today due to tiredness and morning after night before lol!! But had an appointment with personal trainer for an hour after work and he was ruthless!!! but felt better for it.

Sorry moan over, need to go and give myself a shake!!!

Hope Lesley is ok and Ailsa`s appointment went ok and everyone else has had a good day

Bug higs Helen xxx

Evening everyone.  Lots of ((((((hugs)))))) from me as well.

I've been a bit down as well these past few days.  Usual reason but a bit worse as I was doing the dental thing on my own.  It went fine and I don't need to have anything done for now.  Apparently the wisdom tooth concerned is very close to a facial nerve so no point in taking any risks for now.  It isn't troubling me - didn't even know there was anything wrong until it was x-rayed.  He told me to keep it very clean and if my dentist or I get concerned in future write for another appointment.  You would have thought I would have been elated!  For a few minutes I really was and then started crying because I couldn't ring Chris and tell him.  All 3 kids were at work and I didn't want to ring my mum & dad because of the fuss.  In the end I left Stu a message and walked around town for an hour before going back to work.

Helen I was out for saint patricks day last night as well.  Didn't drink much because like you say it was a school night.  I was also stressing about the hospital but still managed to have a really good evening.  It was a meal and a Father Ted night so there was plenty to laugh at.  I'm sorry your feeling a bit flat now but at least we tried.

Dave that is a huge amount of money that the bank raised - well done to them and well done to you for managing mothers day and your birthday.  I bet you are exhausted.

Manda I hope the meal with your MIL goes okay and they don't give you too much grief.

I wouldn't mind going to see John Edwards.  I am not sure what I think about all that but I have an open mind about it and would like to see him do his work.  Count me in.

Judi - hope you are okay after watching the films.  I've got some to watch but I just can't do it for now.  I'm sure you will enjoy the island hoping with Boy.

Lynne I can find one of my sister's houses on google street maps but I haven't managed to see mine yet - I'm sure they will get to it sooner or later.

Well I hope everyone else is okay this evening.  I need to get ready to go to the quiz with my mum & dad - oh joy!!!  I'm tired tonight after not sleeping last night so I am going to be brilliant company aren't I?  Take care eveyone.  Ailsa xxx

Evening all!  Dave big hugs to you, what a lot you've had to cope with I agree with giving the extra visit a miss and well done to the bank and you for the donation, that's a brilliant amount!  Glad you've got through Mothers Day and your birthday xxx

Manda, hope you are enjoying the meal with the in laws, keep breathing and counting to ten.  Tomorrow is Friday so the week from hell can finish and you can enjoy the weekend.

Ailsa, big big hugs for being brave at the othodontist (I still haven't got to the dentist with my broken tooth, now Daniel has a tooth bothering him so I must make an appointment), and next time you need to phone someone, about anything at all, YOU HAVE MY NUMBER don't be shy just phone, I will be joyful for you or sympathetic and kind (hmm, well I'll try :-)) Never feel there isn't anyone to share your news (but I know what you mean, so many times the first thought is telling Steve). 

I've read all the pages since my last post but didn't have my notebook with me, so managed to remember most of the stuff on this page (although I'm sure there was something else I was going to say to Ailsa), but will just send love and hugs (ooh I know one thing, big gentle hug to Dot, hope the bruises aren't too painful xxxx) to all of you, I will get the fire going on the ledge, but we may need the umbrella's tonight so perhaps into the conservatory for drinks at the bar and anyone who needs some company the drinks are on me - Samantha is getting married next June!!!!  Very excited, realy pleased and happy for her but...... so much to organise!  Judi I will be consulting you on the hats, at the moment I'm rather keen on a Condici outfit but haven't even started on that yet as plenty of time and I might even lose some weight hopefully. 

Take care all xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Evening Everyone,  I think it must have been catching this week i also have been a bit down, March not a good month for me birthday that's just past and then  Anniversary to get through as well. Not been sleeping either so that doesn't help. I have been out for a meal tonight with Kim for my birthday  it was lovely. John Edwards count me in.  Amanda hope you got on ok  when you went for your meal with MIL. Judi i know what you mean about watching films. Hope you get your island hoping organised with Boy. Aisa hope you are feeling better now. Dave that was a lot of money raised by the bank well done.  Lesley i hope you are ok? Well i am off to make a coffee then off to bed as working in the morning. Love and Hugs to you all Fiona xxxxxxxxx 

Hello everyone,

Funny week for everyone I think.  Lesley - hope you are ok??  Ailsa, glad to hear you didn't need any work done but sorry you feel flat.  I hope it improves as the week goes.  Rosemary - how exciting to have a wedding to plan!!  Manda - hope your night goes okay and you don't get any hassle.  Dave - sending you hugs for being very brave and strong this week.  Fiona - hugs to you and remember we are with you and supporting you.  Helen - well done at the gym and for surviving St Patricks Day - horrible when you get those questions although I am lucky to not have it happen yet.

I have had another mad week so very tired tonight.   I think it seems like Glasgow or Edinburgh will the choice for John Edwards.  I have a few spare beds and live near Glasgow so there is plenty of room at the inn!

Take care everyone and sending you all hugs.

Gayle xx

Just a short post to let you know I am OK. Just feeling very down this week and didn't want to deflate everyone else after our lovely weekend. Having read some of the posts, I see that I am not the only one, so that's OK.

I will make a longer post soon, just can't seem to drag myself out of it.

Rosemary, so pleased for your Sam. I hope she is very happy.

Lesley x

Dearest Lesley, it is a very long, hard and lonely road with many up's and down's along the way. I hope that you soon feel a little less 'down'. It would appear that a lot of you are feeling very similar at the moment. It seems to have coincided with the change in the seasons but perhaps that is just pure coincidence. Of into the middle of the 'huddle' with you. You are in need of lots of hugs and support at the moment. Please be kind to yourself Lesley, remember all the good things in your life and maybe that will see you through these difficult days.

Today it is very sunny and I guess I should make the most of it. Mmmm..... not sure I can be bothered but I really should make more effort. I went to bed a little earlier last night and slept for a whole hour. The rest of the night I spent tossing and turning. I saw every 20 minutes to half hour.  How I struggled to stay in bed.  I couldn't wait for the allotted getting up time to arrive. One day I will go to bed and actually slep the night through. Oh how I long for that day.

I hope that you are all having a better day today. If not then remember that all your 'penguin' friends are here to support you.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patrcia x x x

for lesley

sue xx

hello everyone

Seems like it is not a good week for many of you.  ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))).  I am ok emotionally this week, in fact find it strange that I am not sadder but have my nasty cold again for the third time.  This time I did see my doctor and of course that was another 'first', haven't been there since just after Danny died.  He said I am probably run down which is true, not eating properly but who wants to cook for one?  So I am going to make a real effort to plan my meals and get more fruit and veggies in.  This cough has now given me a nasty headache which is not going away.  He did give my some cough syrup which did help me sleep a bit last night so will take more when I get home this afternoon.

But I am going to lunch with 3 friends, I really feel like going back to bed and napping but it will be fun, they are a hoot.  I am going to Newfoundland in less than two weeks so need to be healthy by then. 

I don't have any wise words for those of you who are suffering this week, just what you all have told me, get in the middle of the huddle and we will take care of you.  You will come out sometime. 

For those of you who are going to see John Edward, he is fantastic even if he does not read you.  He is so down to earth,  I just hung on his every word and would love to see him again. 

Hope you all have a comfortable evening