My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Evening

I think I m ready lol!! Plenty of outfits for tomorrow night just in case!! Lesley your photo didnt work, sad to say but glad you re packed. Just poured a glass of wine and going to chill before an earlyish night. Planning to head off about 10 - 10.30 so should be there about 2!!

See you all tomorrrow xxx

Helen xxx

Good gracious 5 pages to read and you are all busy packing and I feel so bad that I was moaning and carrying on and there were a few of you having a proper hard time - Ailsa, Lynne, Manda and our lovely new girl, Teri, lots of love to you and hope you are all ok tonight, indeed all the penguins in the huddle.  How exciting that this long talked about meeting is actually about to happen!  Do you think it will be in the papers or on the 10 o'clock news?  I'll watch out in case.  Have a wonderful time all of you and be sure to swap a few hugs amongst yourselves from me and the others who will be keeping the ledge fires burning.

Dave if the next meet is on the Island I promise I will help you to organise it, between us we should be able to put on a good show for the south shouldn't we?  I think Sue is more of a southerner too, aren't you Sue? (And Napoleon of course). 

Cornwall was a good trip, Samantha survived and phoned me frequently, spent loads of money but enjoyed be in charge of the house she said (having called in pest control to sort out mice in the loft but they were bats so can't get rid of them).  Daniel has a black eye (well not too bad and sort of green/yellow now) from work, and last night apparently was "busy" he said and he has another knock under the same eye so hopefully he will be getting more aware of the damage potential and be on the look out.  Anyway I survived, can't hear much as my ears have still got the turbulence in them and the plane had propellers! (A Dash 8-300 if anyone knows about these things, Steve would as he loved planes with a passion)/  Off to bed in a minute trying to catch up.  Love to you all and big big hugs, take care getting to the hotel and have a WONDERFUL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Evening Rosemary.  Glad you are back safe and that Samantha coped well.  We will make sure there are hugs for all you keeping our spot on the ledge.  I am sure you will get texts!!  Good night everyone.  Ailsa xx

Morning all , Welcome back Rosemary xx Just a quick one , see you all later (she says boucing arround like Tiggar) xxx Lynne xxxxx

take care, girls

Sue xx

Fabulous Sue. I am unable to post pictures (maybe due to my firewall) so I do enjoy seeing yours. I hope you are ok. You are very quiet and that to me seems to indicate that you are not quite ready to talk. Always here to lend an ear. I understand how it is though. I am a bit up and down and sometimes just want to see what others are saying or feeling but not ready to say much myself. Other times I just can't stop talking.

Rosemary, I am so glad that you had a good time. Next time you leave Samantha alone it will be a little easier I am sure. The first time is always the worst.

Dave I hope you are coping ok. Did I imagine it or were you doing something with the boys this week-end?

Love and hugs to everyone x x x Patricia x x x

Hi all, a lot of you will know me from the bowel cancer forum, my friend Rosemary in particular, who has suggested this thread-suggesting i may like to become a fellow 'penguin'

My beloved partner Ian passed away a week and a half ago (havnt even had the funeral yet) My emotions are all over the place, just feel incredibly sad and missing him so much.

I have gained so much support and strength from the bowel cancer forum, and hoping i will get the same from all you lovely people on this thread. I am on my own so i like to talk to people, especially people going through the same emotions.

Much love, Julie xx

Well done Julie and welcome to the huddle!  I've just been on Facebook looking at the photo's of the lot of them meeting in Newcastle at this moment, they look like they are having a wonderful time, lots of smiles and laughter, and lots of love too.  It is so hard for you right now and on here you can be certain we all understand and have been there too - still go there often even now, but as they others will tell you it does get easier to pick yourself up and cope with it.  Friday will be hard but we all seem to get through better than we can imagine, the lead up to everything is often worse than actually coping with the event and I think we find ourselves almost acting the part just to keep going and get through the worst of it all.  Ian is still with you and will be right there and so proud of you on Friday, he will be your strength as you have been his through his illness.  A lot of the pain you are going through now is still connected to all of that illness too, I think we almost have to hide some of it away just to keep going every day and then when we lose them it all catches up and hits us, I promise it does get easier though, you don't forget and you don't love them any less but because of who they are and the love we shared we will carry on.  As our lovely Patricia isn't here tonight (off living it up with the other penguins) I will send you the Angel Hugs she always keeps for us, your Guardian Angel is with you and when you feel lost and lonely in the night ask for strength to help you through and it will come to you.  If what I have read over the years is right then Ian will be resting at the moment and recovering, but still with you and close, so don't worry about him the Angels are looking after him too and although this isn't what we wanted the outcome to be our beloved men are no longer suffering and fighting for life, but they will be watching and helping us live ours now the very best we can. 

Thinking of you lots Julie and sending you all my love tonight and for the coming days xxxxx

Thank you xx

hi rosemary and julie

just saw the photos on fb  they look great hope they have a fab time

love to you all

take care love janice xxx