My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Phew, thanks for that my friends, nearly sent me into a panic attack, lol! xxx

Evening everyone.  Hope you are all okay.  I just checked my friends list as well Lesley and either I was never friends with some people or some of mine have disappeared as well.  I get confused sometimes between friends on here and FB.  If any of you get random friend requests from me tonight that will be why.

Gayle I am glad Ewan's birthday went so well.  If he becomes a Chef we will all have to meet up for food in his restaurant from time to time!

Judi - visiting the Greek Island sounds like a lovely reason to take a holiday.  I am a bit apprehensive about going abroad without Chris but Becky has asked me if I will go with her & Declan later this year.  He hasn't been on a plane yet.  I'm thinking I might do it as at least it will be with Becky & Declan so they will understand if I get upset sometimes.  I had a look at my return train times for Sunday, this afternoon.  I have paid for a return ticket but not actually booked a train on the way back.  It looks like there are plenty for me so I am not concerned.  It looks like they are either direct or have one change so nowhere near as much trouble as you.

Bren I hope the meeting for the support group went well.  I found it impossible to get any kind of support or counselling after Chris died.  I was going to have to wait at least 6 months and my GP told me to look in the yellow pages which was very considerate of him - not.  I gave up in the end and decided that my good friends on here were as much support as I needed.  I hope it all works out for you - I think I only avoid it now because I am annoyed it wasn't forthcoming when I needed it.  Manda I hope you manage to get to join the group at the hospice as well.

You are making the most of your week off aren't you Lynne!!?  Glad you and Patricia chatted.  Patricia had me giggling last week when we met.  Looking forward to seeing you all at the weekend - not long now.  Ailsa xx

Lesley calm down hun its usually me that goes into a flat spin , i'll check my friends list after this and i'll book your car into my garage of Lynne , mine was full of mud , only one place tht comes from lol  . Thank you for doing the table Ailsa , yes Patricia is so funny she really had me giggleing . I've done some shopping today Amanda dont worry and , i might even manage some more on fri lol .Sorry you've had such a crap day , hopefully the week gets better for you , well it will by the weekend lol .  Hope your support group went well Bren and you managed to get in , i too decided not to have counciling but i wouldn't knock anybody who did , we are all different and like Ailsa i decided my friends on here we're my life line (and still are ) , I'm baby sitting tonight for my eldest 2 grand kiddies , we have had a lovely play tine and story tine , now there are in bed , not sure for how long . My son and his wife have gone to see the stereophonics in sheffield so that shoukd be good . Thats all for now , i;ll be hanging around al night . Whats everybody else up too .. xxx Lynne  xxx

Bren good luck with the meeting about the support group. I hope it goes well.

Lynne, I daren't clean my car it is only the dirt which is holdiong it together lol.

Can't remember what else has been said. Oh dear, that's what comes of being 130.

I haven't checked my 'friends list' so I have no idea if anyone is missing. Will do that late.

I hope you are all having the best evening you can.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Evening all

Well that explains something .... when I logged in all I could see was that you ahd all madly been 'making friends' I wondered if I had missed something! 

Bren and Manda I hope that you get on well with the groups.  I am with you a little Ailsa on the counselling thing.  Initially it wasn't that I was anti it, but I just really felt that there was nothing anyone could say that would change what had happened, could bring Ed back or explain why he had to go so therefore there was no point.  However, I truthfully believe that you guys have actually been the best counselling I could ever have had, cos when you tell me something or say anything I know that you understand and I believe it.  I suspect I would be more open to it now, but feel that I am surrounded by love and support from you all ..... and that will do nicely for me.

Cars, cars ....... CARS.  Don't mention cars to me today.  We have the most incredible potholes here since the snow.  The paper is full of 'Angry of Aberdeen' letters about it and today I became a victim.  Loud nasty thunk from the front right wheel ..... arrrrggghhhh.  And it was only the other day that I was explaining to the teenage daughter of a friend of mine (only to make her laugh, honestly!) that I only ever turn left at junctions cos it is so much easier.  Only now when I turn left I get a clunk, thunk, clunk, thunk.  Which means that now I am going to have to only turn right and it is going to take so much longer to get anywhere!!

Big event at work today, so had a break from 3 til 5 then back until half eight.  It went really well and I enjoyed the buzz but am a bit wabbit now (don't know if that is maybe an Aberdeen word? it means tired!) so may have a really early night ........ or I could do some ironi........... an early night I think!

Ailsa thanks for booking the table hun.  I hope it is a big round one so that we can all see each other! I had an email from my old boss today to see how I am getting on ....... and to see if I could babysit on Thursday because it is his wife's birthday.  I have said of course I will as long as he takes her somewhere very expensive!

My dad sent me a virus warning for anyone that has a hotmail or yahoo or aol email.  If you get one that says Mail Server Report just delete it without opening it, apparently it will just delete EVERYTHING on your computer .......... doesn't bare thinking about ladies.

I have forgotten now ...... who had the kebab on FB and is feeling full - snap, just finished some luverly macaroni cheese and now feel like a blimp. Manda, hugs hun - what an up and down day you have had.  Lynne, just you keep making the most of your weekend. 

Rosemary ..... oh Rosemary ....... oi ESME.  I am halfway through a school year and have been waiting very patiently for an exceedindly long time now .......... get a shiggle on, as my mum would say.  Only teasing hun, just email me when you are ready, and don't bother about editing first, I need to know what's happening.

Fiona, glad that Darren has a little more work, hopefully it will stretch out some more.  It has been a beautiful day weather wise here - blue skys, actual warmth from the sun, very spring like.  I don't know if you were taking Charlie out today, but hope it was as lovely with you. 

Might try to pop back later - love to all.

Judi xxx

Evening All,  Well it has been lovely here today but very cold tonight, just had a friend in for a coffee. Darren was working late so he is very tired as not use to manual work but as he say's it's work and will be pleased when the pay goes into the bank. I also have had no counselling was never told of any but i also think this site and all you lovely people have been all the counselling i need. Bren and Manda i hope you get on ok with the groups. Lynne i hope you are enjoying your week off so far.  Ailsa thanks for sorting out our dinner for Sat night. Charlie has the cold again but Kim had him checked out today and it's not on his chest so not so bad. I will check my friends list as well. Well i am off to bed and hopefully get plenty sleep before Sat. Luv and Hugs to you all Fiona xxxxx

Well, I met with the lady who organizes the groups.  It was really good, I felt like I had had a counselling session with her, she was so understanding,  she lost a 5 year old daughter years ago so does understand grief.  I passed!  So will find out next week if the group is on and if it is, it will be on Thursday mornings starting April 22, I do hope it will happen.  I think that is what I need for me right now.  I did have a couple of individual sessions in November but I think the group would do me good right now.  You all are also a perfect support as well. 
So I am now climbing out of my black hole, just in time for the trip.  Manda hope your session goes well tomorrow too. 

Still wish I could join you but maybe next year.  Judi I am in Cambridge, Ontario, 60 miles west of Toronto in South-central Ontario, a little bit west of Wales.

hope you all have a good night

Morning all

I think I have everyone back now! Just went to send someone a message last night and they had gone, started to check others and half of my friends gone too, don't know what happened there?

It was me with the kebab! Feel better this morning and it's just as well I am going to the gym after work! Have kept meaning to say Ailsa, the pilates, is it quite gentle to start with, you mentioned it helping your back? I have been thinking about joining a class too because of my back but it is not up to doing too much just yet.

Bren, glad you have joined the group. Like someone said no-one can say anything that will make us feel any less sad about our husbands passing but I have found it helpful to make new friends both on here and at home, who understand exactly what you are going through. I am so looking forward to meeting my online friends so that they can become my real life friends and am hoping it will lead to many more days/weekends away.

Manda, where is your next holiday to? Can't keep up with you! I am hoping to book my tickets to America soon, they are not too badly priced at the moment for Christmas.

Well better get ready for work soon, Wednesday already, all down hill from now! Just 3 weeks until the next holiday!   :-)))))

Hugs to all Lesley x

Morning all , and a lovely morning it looks too . I wasn't sure about this time off this week , i had to have the holidays before April but its also the first time i've been at home for this long , but its been fine , the fact that i've been so busy has helped but its a different busy to work . My little grand kiddies we're as good as gold last night i never heard another thing from them bless . I'm looking after my youngest granddaughter this morning and probably when my son comes to pick her up at lunch time he probably will just stay here till he goes to pick his wife up , so that will pass today on . I'm going to watch X factor tommorow night and fri i'll be packing/shopping /hair cut so that will go fast too and than sat at 9 i will be on my train to my penguinn friends , i too am hoping it leads to more weekends etc away and we've got to meet Sue ,Patricia  Dottee, Rosemary , Quill and Dave dont think your getting away with it just because your a man doesn't excuse you  , where do you live ? we'll come to you lol .and Bren if you do make it over here next year we'' ll definately sort a meet out or we will come to you too ....

 Anyway i wish you all a good a day as possible

 Take care  

 xxxx  Lynne  xxxx

Hi Lynne

Im on the Isle of wight lol.But you are all welcome to come down anytime.Its a beautiful place in the summer.

Hopefully i wll be able to make your next meet up.

Have a great time all of you.

Dave xxx