My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

FormerMember
FormerMember
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My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Patricia sorry you had a bad night xx Think you ve done the right thing though to put your letter etc in first if you re expecting a come back. You ve had your say. Like Lynne said hopefully after your rant and a sleep it might seem better.

    Hope you have a better day, bug higs ((()))

    Helen xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Great, I managed one and a half hours sleep. Whoopy dooo. Now I am wide awake and have the mother of all headaches. Oh and to cap it all I feel physically ill. I think I have let all this flippin work thing get to me. I really need to give myself a talking to. So my penguin friends "heehaaaaw.. hehaw..  heeeeeehaaaaaaaw... hehaw.. hehaw.. heeeeehaaaaaaaawwww". Hmmmm... I wonder what I just said ! ! !

    Take care everyone and please look after yourselves. I am sure that you have better things to do than listen to the ramblings of some mad woman who should know better x x

    Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

     

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi all.  Patricia you are not a mad woman - you have had a rotten shift.  I think you have done the right thing as well, getting in there first if you think there will be some comeback.  Do you still think I need to come along with my calibrated eyeball?  When is your next shift and will you be able to try for a little more sleep before it?  ((((((hugs))))))

    Like Lesley I have had my hair done this morning and am now looking very glamourous through the rose-tinted specs I bought last summer!  I have also been for a walk and bought some flowers to go in a thing I bought from TK Maxx yesterday - it worked perfectly Patricia.  I am really looking forward to Stu coming in a little while.

    Your right Helen - we have all come on such a long way in the past months.  We have had no choice.  I could never have done this nearly so well without all of you lot so I hope you all have a decent day and weekend.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Oh Patricia, I am sorry to hear what a bad night (and sleep) you have had... Well done you for sticking to your guns though. It takes courage for anyone to stand up for what they think is right, and I agree with all the others who have said you have done the right thing putting your complaint in first. And never worry about us having 'better things to do' - we always have time to listen to a friend in need!

    Time for you to shuffle to the middle for a bit... Much love, Manda xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hugs to you Patricia, I have had many, many moments like you over my job. It is not that easy to just find another job, especially when you have worked there for many years, another leap into the unknown. I hope everything gets sorted out for you. I am keeping my eyes open for something else.

    Fat lot of good you lot are, with what shall I take! Lynne.... what can I say, shall I just bring my entire wardrobe! I am thinking jeans and a couple of nice tops, shoes and boots. We won't be going anywhere where we can't wear jeans will we? Not sure we will have time for shopping though, can't even remember what time our train gets into Newcastle, perhaps I should take a look! In fact come to think of it can't even remember what time it leaves Manchester, lol! I hope Manda, has her practical head on, she will need to keep me on a tight rein, if I see shops who knows what time I will arrive!

    Ailsa, like you I am looking georgeous now, silver streaks have vanished!

    Don't know why but I am feeling in a very relaxed and good mood today, again have felt like this for a couple of days. Maybe it's because I am looking forward to meeting you all so much, am getting very excited. x

    Love to all, Lesley x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi all , i've just text Patricia , so she knows how i feel , wish i could help her xxxxx .

     Lesley sorry i'm no help hun , ha ha i feel like a teenager again , "what you wearing" lol .. Cant see us going any where they wont allow jeans after all Helen will be wearing her celtic football kit(remember my dream ) I've just got back for the hair dressers too , must be the day for it ..  Did you manage to get dressed Sue ??

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Oh yes indeedy!    It was that or get arrested for being indecent whilst in charge of a dog!

    i went to the hairdressers yesterday as well - as you say, it's the weekend for hairdos.  A bit of retail therapy going on here this weekend; can't afford it, but don't care. Just a new top........ and a necklace.........oh, and a pair of trousers...............

    should have been washing the kitchen floor, really but couldn't be a***d.   Had a lovely meal out with friends last night at the local chinese restaurant, and laughed so much i had no voice this morning. it was interesting when I tried to answer the phone....

    Hope Patricia is feeling a bit better now; it's a rubbish feeling when work goes pearshaped. We know that someone is going to be made redundant at school at the end of this school year, which is a big worry as it could well be me. if that happens i shall have to sell my home and go somewhere cheaper to live, which I really do NOT want to do.

    ah, well - watch this space.

    Sue xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Come and live with me Sue xxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    on my way, hun xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    on my way, hun xx