My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi,

Just a quick one.  I am doing okay and getting a bit more of my spark back every day.  I have been really busy with work and it is getting a bit overwhelming as there are loads of changes happening which are all good for my career and me being busy keeps me out of mischief as some of you know lol.  Like Judes said I am off to Aberdeen again on Friday and back Saturday so busy weekend again but I am officially off next week (which means I will be working at home) because it is Ewan's birthday on Monday. 

Manda, you must feel you can post whatever you like.  We all understand and sometimes even just writing it on here is enough to help you a little.

Lynne - you get to that docs if the fingers get worse!

Hugs to everyone else.  Thinking of you all - Patricia and Bren.

Gayle xxx

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Right that is it! Have just spent at least 20 mins typing a post  and with one click it has gone. Why does it always happen when you have read every post and replied to each one. Stamping of feet and gnashing of teeth, well I am not doing it all again, no way.

Sending hugs and love instead. xx

Well my one brain cell has just packed up and left, walked out in a right huff it did!  I'm sure I replied last night, I'm sure I did..... well now I come to think of it the computer was playing up, did I give up and shut it down as waitng for it to load the page I had just typed was taking forever?  Did it not even load the page?  Did I even TYPE the page????????  Oh bums!

Judi the necklaces are beautiful and what a lovely idea.  You may know I had my wedding ring and Steves made into one and now wear it comfortably with the beautiful eternity ring he gave me for my 50th when he was ill, my wedding ring wouldn't fit anymore and Steve's was far too big so it was an ideal solution.  Samantha has his signet ring and Daniel has his silver and onyx ring, neither of which fit them but they treasure them just the same.

Just been looking in on a new thread of a lovely lady called Deb who is experiencing "Second Year Syndrome" and have invited her to join us here, I hope she does she sounds like she could do with a huddle.  Having done that the above mentioned brain cell has not left any notes for me so I can't remember what I want to say to you all so I will just leave it, as ever, with lots of love and big hugs for you all to have good days.  See you later (before 5 days I expect, oh and the Bill, Thursday is actually a good night fot tv).  xxxxxxx

PS Thoughts are coming together for the Purple Hat Lunch, how is June for everyone?

Judi the jewellery is lovely, what a wonderful gift.  I am crawling slowly out of the hole, right now just feel drained and numb but at least no tears last night.  So Manda come on in, grab hold and we will all take care of you.  That was a really hard hit this time, it is good to know you are all here for me to hang on to.  Thanks.  Still working my way back up so still need some support but next week is Albany and John Edward and then in two more weeks, Newfoundland so I will have lots to do.  As my boss said, I will be in the poor house soon but this is what I feel I need right now is not to be alone on holidays.  I will have a few days after Albany for the rest of March break but I feel I can handle that as I do hope to get some clearing out done and hoping for good weather for long walks with the dog.

Judi, working full time you never get it all done.  Even when Dan was with me and he didn't work, we never got on top of everything.  Just do what you can, what absolutely has to be done and the rest can wait. 

thanks for the support and sending hugs to everyone

Bren

Afternoon all - just thought I'd drop by and leave some ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) for when you all get home from work........ Sorry I've not been around for a couple of days - I did try to post a couple of times but my machine crashed then I lost another message so gave up in disgust..........I wasn't risking a third go!!!!!!  Love and more ((((((hugs)))))))  Dot xxxxxxxxx

Hi all

What a lovely sunny day it has been, so much nicer when the sun is shining, I even managed to sit in the garden for a few minutes.  :-)

About this time last year my mum bought us a lucky bamboo plant, (supposed to bring good luck) now I am not normally supersiticious but since then I have had nothing but bad luck and am seriously thinking about throwing the thing in the bin! First Colin, then my broken wrist, bad back and now Rachel has just phoned to say Dave has been in a car crash. The car may be a right off and he has hurt his back. :-(  I suppose it is lucky he has not been badly hurt but I can't help thinking what next. It seemed a car ran into the car behind him, which in turn ran into the back of him. I hope the insurance will sort it out, it does not help that Dave was driving Colin's car and as it was quite old, they will probably not pay out for it to be fixed. Another small part of Colin gone maybe... oh, silly isn't it to be upset over a car, at least Dave is OK.

I think the idea of making rings etc into new jewellery is a great idea and one I had not thought of, Colin's wedding ring is in my memory box along with his watch etc, it is way too big for me to wear. Although I am fairly big everywhere else, my hands are extremely small!

I am off out in a while to my bereavement support group, I am going to try hard not to blub this evening and have put eye make up on to deter me.... if I do I will look like a panda, lol. Not a good look!

I'm hoping to be back in work on Monday and to be able to restart, yet again, at the gym.

How do you get photos and pics onto your posts? I have managed to get them on my profile but not on an actual post, someone PM me please and let me know.

Well I had better go, I may be back later with a large glass of something to help me come round after the meeting!

Hope you have all had a calm day. x Lesley x

Where is everyone, I stay up late and still no party!

The group went well tonight, even managed a few laughs, your ears must have been burning, as I was telling them about all my friends on here and how much help and support I have recieved.

You don't realise just how much you have moved forward, there were a couple of ladies there who have lost their husbands in the last 4 weeks, they were saying how they felt, through lots of tears. I realised that although I have some very bad moments, they are nowhere near as many as I had in the first two months and last nothing like as long. Whilst I don't miss Colin any less or love him any less than I did, I think I am learning to cope with my emotions better.

I did give into a little weeping but thankfully the mascara stayed in tact, so no panda eyes for me tonight! One of the ladies even came over and said it had helped her listening to me, as she could not imagine feeling any different in time but now she saw how I was doing it gave her hope. It felt nice to be helping someone else for a change.

Anyway you are all obviously very busy people tonight, with far more interesting things to do than to come on here!!! lol

So I will speak to you all tomorrow, party poopers!

Love Lesley x

 Evening All,  Well we have had a few nice days here and i have enjoyed the last two days with Charlie, we have been for some nice walks, but back to work tomorrow and Saturday. Hope everybody is ok tonight? Just done a tesco.com not done it for ages so thats the shopping done for  the week. Darren still working so hopefully he will get a few more days yet. I have felt it hearing Darren going out to work early as brought me back to thinking of Derek going out to work as he was out early in the morning.  Nothing planned for this weekend looking forward to the next weekend when we all meet.  Well i better get off to bed, speak soon. Fiona xxxxxxxxxxxx  

Hello everyone ........ well Lesley.  The reason that I haven't posted til now is cos I am just exhausted!!!  No, not really, when I got home I took the dogs for a very long walk as a treat for them being so good this week.  Then I watched The Good Wife, I am enjoying it.  My advice re the plant is bin it!  As you say, as long as Dave is ok then that is the main thing, but I completely understand what you say about losing 'another thing'.  When I log on the computer my home page takes forever to load because it is a Financial, stock exchange, share prices, currency rate kind of page with loads of charts etc on.  Ed was facinated and incredibly knowledgable about all that kind of stuff - so it will stay my home page forever, because changing it ........ well not an option.   I have to admit that I still look to see what the FTSE closes at each day and what the dollar exchange rate is.  Old habits heh. 

Sue is the one to tell you about posting pictures.  All I know is that they have to already be on the web i.e. on Facebook or one of those photoplaces and I think that you need that open at the same time (but I might be wrong about that).  Then you can copy and paste them in to your post.  It seems that a lot of us are having problems with losing posts.  I always mean to highlight and copy it just before I click the button, so that it hasn't gone for good - but I tend to forget. 

Well I should really go a pack a wee bag.  Am off down to Glasgow in the morning to see Boy and mum and dad.  I realised this morning that because I couldn't go down for New Year it will actually be nearly seven months since I saw them!!   

Loads and loads of love to all.  I will not be able to post down in Glasgow so just know that I am sending you all penguin vibes over the weekend.  Love Judi xxxxxx

Mornng everyone.  I have just been catching up on posts but really must go and get ready for work now so I will come back on later today when, hopefully Patricia and I have met up.  I was at a re-union of old work colleagues last night and it was nice to see a lot of people I haven't seen since the last one last year.

Follow Judi's instructions and you will be able to post photos.  Lots of ((((((hugs)))))) to everyone.  Ailsa xxx