My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Rosemary, my love-

HUGE hugs for you, and every good wish that Daniel will be better soon - you must be out of your mind with worry.

See you on the ledge - we'll be there with you, hun.

Sue xx

Evening all , sending big hugs to Rosemary and i do hope Dan is on the mend soon .. It must be such a worry for you .. Thank you for texting about dad , it goes from bad to worse with him . He has been eating a little for the last few days but like i;ve said its the fluid intake thats a big problem . The hospital was supposed to phone him today to discuss it again , when i got there at 4.30  no one had phoned so i called and left a message for them to contact him as soon as possible . They haven't phoned and now he tell me he's got no food left anyway for his machine . Now he can eat a little so he wont starve but we cant believe that the nutitionist has left him without any food . They only give him a week at a time , then they call him and then i have to collect it for the hospital . But if they haven't sorted it out i cant collect it . If they dont call in the morning i will have to try and track her (the nuttitionist) down , not an easy thing to do , especially since i have to do it whilst i'm working . Hopefully she'll phone in the morning and we'll get it all sorted .. Rant over ..... 

 Lesley so glad you've had the cast off and just go steady with it now . No problems with the text , i was impressed that you answered lol ...

 Patricia , how did you get on at the dentist ?  .....

Ailsa so glad your home safely , now are you going to try and take it easy hun ...

Helen i hope you get some good things sorted for the charity night ...

Hi Gayle , how are you today ?  have you got those windows done yet ??? Hi Sue , how was your first day back at work ?? Big hugs Fiona and i hope you've had a better day today ... Hi Judi and dottee and everyone else xxxxxx

Hi everyone.  Rosemary please let us know when you hear from Dan.  Ypur post began so calmly and then that.  Lots of positive vibes on their way from me to you and to Dan.

Yes Lynne - I am going to try to slow down a little now.  Because it is a problem bear with me while I do it a little at a time.  I am staying home tomorrow evening and Wednesday evening.  I have no visitors planned so I am hoping to watch some TV and do a few chores.  I need to strike a balance as if I do nothing I will stress myself into a frenzy within days!!!  What am I like - I am making excuses already and I haven't even reached my free day.  We are in the teens for sleeps until our meet now - 19!  When we do get together will someone please remind me how to slow down.  Without my main man I can't remember how it is done.  At least there is a smile on my face though tonight :)

I identified with a lot of the things that have been posted on here in the past couple of days.  I have been angry Gayle although never for very long.  I look at older couples and feel cheated and also a little scared that I have to do that on my own without Chris to lean on.  I think we even had one conversation before he died about how I would do things like apply for pensions without him - if I remember right it was quite a giggly conversation thank goodness!!!  Even though I don't agree with the lady who said to Patricia that she would rather be bereaved than divorced I can see why she might think that - it is as Lesley & Gayle both said - we all felt and fell surrounded by love whereas in divorce there is the rejection etc to deal with.

Dot don't apologise for a long post please or I am doomed!  I can never use few words where I can have many!  When you said you go off and talk to Ellie-dog it made me wander yet again whether I would like to have a dog again yet.  I am glad you get support from coming on this site.  I haven't even met up with anyone from here yet and I feel so thankful to have 'met' all of you so far.  Roll on the 13th March.

Fiona I bet you were so proud of your niece when she handed over the sponsor money to the hospice.  I saw your penguin with Charlie on facebook.

Patricia I hope that both the dentist and the sky lanterns have gone well today.  I feel the same about those sky lanterns as you and so do many of my family - thank you Sue x

Lesley I am glad your cast is off.  Good luck with the physio.  I wanted to say I don't make new friend all that easily until I realise that is exactly what we have all done here so we are brill at it!

Lynne I hope you Dad is on the mend soon.  I would be so mad with the nutritionist in you position.  I hope you get it sorted out tomorrow. 

Well I should really go before I start repeating myself.  I'm glad you enjoyed Avatar Bren - I thought it was a great film as well.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xxx

Sorry - after all that waffle I was going to say I also look in the mirror and see a much older person that I expect to see.  It give me a shock but I am not prepared to give in to that just yet though.  I don't get to go out as often as perhaps Lynne, Gayle and Helen but as soon as we get even the slightest sniff of milder weather (maybe around Easter) I will be going out for a couple of drinks and a dance - watch out Barnsley.  Ailsa xx

Rosemary hun, we are all with you and sending love and cyber vibes.  Let us know whey you hear how Daniel is.  Hugs for you and Samantha.

Patricia - lots of hugs for you for the next few days. I know you and your Miss Tickle arms like to be on the outside round everyone, but until you are past Saturday then in the middle with you, no arguing, Napoleon and me are on sentry duty.

Lynne, I am just fuming that the nutritionist has left your dad high and dry, it is a disgrace.  What on earth happens to people that don't have a daughter that is on top of the case and sorts things out.  I know that you will keep going and manage but with all this added stress just you watch it, please look after yourself too hun.    Lesley - good news re your cast, how good are you - planning swimming already, I am sure that will help with your wrist.  Never worry about the wrong word in predictive texting - I always think it makes the text more interesting! lol.  Helen and Sue must have been back at work today.  Hope it went peacefully.   Sue, has Napoleon found out if that darn Cod has an Equity card yet??

Ailsa hun, if you sit by me for a while when we are away I am sure that some of my ability to put off procrastinating will rub off on you.  Only thing I would say is that although I really want you to slow down a bit please don't let trying to do that stress you.  We will allow you to do some things if it makes it easier - just not too much.  Fiona, lovely photos hun, and I would like to add my congrats to your neice. 

Tomorrow the 'new me' (but much more glamorous!! lol) is coming into the office for a few hours.  I really should try to appear organised and look as if I know what I am doing.  Joey appears to be much better  - now it is just the solid ice that is stopping us walking any distance!! I will never be a size 10 at this rate ....... small wait while I take the paper of another Opal Fruit ........ they will NEVER be Starbursts to me ...... I am right in thinking that as long as I eat them standing up they have no calories aren't I!!

Off to make a coffee - I may well return.

Love Judi xxx

Oh Rosemary - I just went to send you a quick message and clicked the wrong button and now you have disappeared from my friends - I have asked for you back, but didn't want you to think that I had deserted you - just the opposite.  Please let me be your friend again!!! Judi xx

Hello again, just on way to bed but have heard from Daniel again and they have let him go back to the apartment (the hospital are being awkward over the insurance he has), he is ok now having had two bags of saline into him and he's stopped throwing up and just wants to sleep.  So with instructions from me to get himself back to a hospital if he starts being ill again he and his mate have made their way off into the night.  Thank you all for your support and good vibes, I might stay on the ledge for a while longer, but will snuggle into the huge bed I have made up for us all to crawl into - thank you so much penuins xxxxx

PS Ailsa, I will re-add you! lol xxxx

Woops, meant Judi - think I'm a bit befuddled to Judi! xxx

Evening All, Rosemary i do hope your Daniel is ok, please let us know how he is. Lesley glad you got your cast off, it's funny you just saying about Rachel thinking of taking more time off Kim has just been on the phone to me wondering about going down to three days a week when she goes back, it's really hard for them but as i say Kim's husband self employed so don't think Kim has much option at the moment. I have just been doing a tesco. com and it has took me hours to do it, Judi i am sure i could have been to the one in Aberdeen quicker. Lynne hope your dad gets on ok, and you get sorted out with the nutritionist, and like Judi say's it's a digrace.   No work for Darren yet and he is getting so fed up with nothing to do, it's even to cold to wash my car. Hope everyone else doing ok? Well i am off to make a coffee then off to bed. Luv and Hugs Fiona xxxxxxxxxxx     

Well I'm off to bed as well shortly.  Rosemary I am glad you gave us an update on Daniel.  I hope he is feeling better soon.

Judi I am sure the glamorous you will be brilliant tomorrow.  I do believe you are right about no calories when standing up and I want to know all about putting off procrastinating lol x

I hope Helen's charity event meeting is going well.  Ailsa xx

Fiona - we will ahve to try with the good vibes to Darren now to get him a job.