My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Dear Patricia - I can feel the overwhelming sadness in your post lovely lady..............you've sent me ((((hugs)))) and positive vibes through the ether many times - but I don't know how to help you this time............so I just wanted to give you a gentle nudge into the huddle and I'll do my very best to keep you all safe...........

Love and ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) to comfort you  Dot xxxxxxxx

Dear Sue - silly pictures to raise a smile - but are you sure the kitty was raised by penguins????  Looks more like Aleksandr the Meerkat to me!!!!!!!!  Love and (((hugs)))  Dot xxxx

Morning all - ((((((((group hug))))))))) for everyone

Fiona, Amanda and Lesley stay in the middle of the huddle as long as you want I'll be duty penguin and wrap my flippers around you all..........xxx

Lesley - you have my sympathy with your 'potted' wrist..... I fell and broke mine during my final year at college.........What an excuse for lateness of assignments!!!!!xxx

Lynne - I feel that you are doing right just now by ignoring step-daughter...take a good long 'cooling off' time........xxx 

Ailsa - a 'clump' sounds like it's a cross between a 'clout' and a 'thump'........... Enjoy your night out on Friday .........xxx

Gayle and Judi - I have seen where mac are asking for book reviewers - it sounds interesting  but I'd need to add another 24 hours to my day to fit it in.......maybe when I retire??????? xxx

Helen - I'm joining the orderly penguin queue to ogle the firemen...........MEN IN UNIFORM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!xxx

Sue - along with everyone else I love your piccies - but where are you????  Hope you're not teetering on the edge again??? Hang on to my flipper while I pull you back and into the huddle again...xxxx

To all in this penguin huddle - hope your day turns out better than you expected...............xxx

Love and ((((((((((hugs)))))))) to comfort you all  Dot xxxxxxxxxxx

Morning all and especially to lovely Patricia. 

I understand exactly what you are saying hun - I often feel that I am just waiting to join Ed so that I can feel 'complete' again.  And no, I am not worried about you doing anything silly hun cos you love your family so much as I do mine.   And stop beating yourself up for 'negative' posting hun, it is not negative, it is just 'reality' at the moment.  We are all sending you penguin vibes that your reality can 'shift' just a little to let more warmth and peace in. 

Again, your feelings about the wedding make complete sense to me.  Neither Ed's S/D nor Boy are anywhere near getting married, but when  people start listing that as one of the many things I still have to look forward to I just smile but inside am thinking "you have no idea, how can it be wonderful when the most important player will not be there".  But I KNOW that you will do them proud and make a marvellous Mother of the Groom and you will find the inner strength to hold your head up and feel overwhelming pride in your son.  And if there are tears on the day, well that is only right and proper and as it should be.  But I can almost guarantee that there will also be something, no matter how small, that will make you smile and maybe laugh. 

Lynne, I am so glad to hear that you son took the line he did, very protective but managing to look at the longterm picture and trying to get her to understand and take responsibility for her actions.  Hugs for you, your wonderful children will make sure that you get through these horrid outbursts.

Helen, you haven't been putting dud batteries in your smoke alarms to ensure a squad of firemen have you.  I remember we once had an annoying little 'beep' that happened every hour or so and then more and more frequent and Ed and I were dashing round the house everytime we heard it, standing near any of the three alarms we had, shouting at each other "It's yours, it's definitely yours ..... the sound is coming from near you".  It was driving us demented.  This went on for a day and half until we were pulling our hair out.  Eventually we discovered and old smoke alarm in the cupboard under the stairs that was 'beeping' it's little heart out!!!!!

Lesley glad that you have a smaller more managable 'stooky' on ..... surely everyone knows they are called stookies ...... 'pot'..... what kind of word is that!!!!! 

To everyone else, loads of love on this cold and frosty morning - off to work now.

Love Judi xxxx

thanks everyone for your kind words and thoughts, i think i do feel alittle better today,had a big cry last night not a weep but full blown sob, not done that for a few weeks now.

oh patricia, how many times have i felt just howyou describe? if you could read my journal, the times i have begged colin to take me with him. i know it is selfish but like you i often cant see any way forward. yes i love my family dearly but nothing and no-one makes up for the intimacy i shared with colin and i dont mean sex, i mean love. i knowi will never experience that again as no-one could take his place, i wouldnot let them. it is all so sad but what does help me is knowing i am not the only one who feels like this. last night when i was sobbing in bed, i thought of you all and knew no matter how much i miss colin and know he will never return, there are your lovely men who are missed just as much and you ladies who are hurting just like me. i wish you were coming to our meet up patricia. then i could give you a big hug in person. lets hope all our men are looking down on us and sending us peace and calming thoughts.

hope you have a much better day patricia and anyone else who is feeling down. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

lesley x

HI all

Sorry ihavent been on for awhile,"running around after the kids " Ive also been aranging the internment of Nics ashes on Friday this week.Its hit me pretty hard .

As ive also been following Nics instuctions .As she wanted all of her friends to have a silver heart bracelet with"My Friend Forever Love Nic xx" on each of them .

Ive given  a couple out and its hard obviously they get upset and in turn upsets me.

So i think ive bitten off more than i can chew this week.And will leave the remaining bracelets and jewelery that Nic has left for family members till later

Anyway im sure i will feel much better once Fridays over with,and it is avery beautiful place.

I hope you are all well.

Thanks Dave xx

Hi all

Dave, how wonderful are you - and what an amazing gesture from Nic, such a beautiful lady.  I sometimes find it hard to comprehend where so many of our loved ones found such strength and love to make these thoughtful and courageous lasting gestures when facing the hardest times.  I know it must be the most emotional time for you, and send you, Freddie and George hugs for the next few days.

Patricia and Lesley, I hope you have both managed to get some well needed rest and been cosseting yourselves - Napoleon will not be happy if he hears that you haven't, and you really don't want to see an annoyed Napoleon, there's no saying what he might do!  Fiona, Darren is really being a superstar isn't he, texting and making sure that you know what he's up to.  Hope he finds some work that he enjoys and still have time to make the most of the whole experience.

To everyone else, hope all is going as well as possible, love and hugs.

Judi xx

i am practising being cross.

behave.

Do what Auntie judi tells you.

Napoleon xx

hello ladies and dave

Dave i hope allgoes as you want it to on friday, willbe thinking of you.

well i went the dentist and it was ok just a small filling needed. so i treated me and my mum to a tapas lunch and a large white wine spritzer, yum. got to pamper ourselves or napoleon will be cross, he told me to do it,lol.xx

Also bought new top and belt!!   .lesley loves shopping   :-))))))))))

Good for you, Lesley - a little retail therapy and pampring is GOOD!

Dave, hope all goes well on Friday; emotional, i know, but i hope you will find some sort of comfort in having a special place where you can go to visit your beautiful  Nic.

sue xx