My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Morning girls - just wanted to leave you all love and (((((((((((((((((bug higs))))))))))))))))))) to comfort you in this festive season..............Dot xxxxxxxxxxx

Morning Ladies

I have decided to stay off work today. I was only going to be sitting in the office on my own brooding and then coming home in the dark and cold... It's 8 weeks today since Miles funeral and I know that the weeks are moving by but it still upsets me.

Anyway, as we were talking about being overly sensitive at the moment I thought I'd run this by  you and see if it is just me... My 3 'lifelong' friends have invited me to join them for a quick drink and a bite to eat - tonight - to swap cards and presents, as we do every year. It doesn't seemed to have occured to them that maybe I am not up to doing the whole merry xmas thing with them just yet, but that's not really it. The thing is they are meeting at 6pm today, 8 weeks from my lovely mans funeral, at the very place that I held his wake.

I did thank them for the invite but told them that I wouldn't be joining them - one because I am finding dealing with xmas really hard and am just not up to doing the usual routine, but mainly because I really don't want to go back to the place we held his wake yet - possibly I never will - but certainly not today. The response I got was 'Oh yes - I suppose it was insensitive of us to ask', not that it was insensitive of them to not consider the location might be upsetting for me.

Is it just me being over sensitive? I find myself questioning my reactions to everything these days...

Hope you are all having an ok day so far. Manda xx

No, my love, you're not being over-sensitive; you are grieving for the love of your life, and trying to deal with the whole christmas thing at the same time.

sue xx

Just popping by to wish all my penguin friends a Merry Christmas and a happy new year.

With loads of comforting love and ((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
Quill xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Love Quill xxx

Arrgghh hate that when that happens, more button work please.......
Should have said:
What's Christmas
Without a gift, huh?.....
So here's me.........
With Something
Special for you!
It's the warmest,
biggest, tightest hug.......
Wrapped up with
all my love!

Quill xxxxx

Thank you Quill - I have just warmed myself up with that hug.

Manda hun, personally I don't think you are being oversensitive at all - or at least as soon as you said it was being held in the place that you held Miles' wake I just got a shiver, so to me not at all over sensitive.  However, I have also noticed that many, many people do not seem to realise that anything and everything can instantly knock us for six.  So I am hoping that this is a case of people not being in our situation being a tad thoughtless - in its most literal sense i.e. not having thought about it.  Which in itself is hutful, but there is no doubt in my mind that they wouldn't hurt you for the world .... they just have absolutely no concept of what it is like.  And at the moment hun, you probably need to surround yourself with people who are prepared to try and realise that every second of every day your first thought is of Miles. 

In time I hope that like me, on a good day, when people do or say something that to us seems crass or unthinking, you can give a wry smile and think to yourself "okay, fair enough, you haven't walked in my shoes, so I will let that one go by."  Until then darling just you think of all those little penguins rushing waddling towards you in a protective swoosh!

Aberdeen has ground to a halt today due to so much snow - well for all those who tried to move their cars!  I walked to my bosses house to work for a few hours. One stretch of it is about three quarters of a mile of straight road, and as I walked the length of it the cars moved .............. not at all!  I think there are going to be a lot of unhappy bunnies this evening. 

My only concern is Boy, they have forecast more snow tonight and temperatures of -13,  he should be travelling up on Thursday so I have my fingers crossed.  But even more important than him being here is the thought the thought of him not making it and having no where special to go to on Christmas day.  So tonight I will be doing my 'mummy' bit and phoning to make sure that there is a Plan B, and that if the worst happens someone is going to provide my Boy with a Christmas lunch and numerous glasses of wine!!

Speak later everyone. Judi xxx

Evening chaps!  I have a matter of moments whilst Sam is in the loo then she wants her computer back - I spent too long reading all your posts.  Will be back later - with my phone to start stashing your numbers and then sending messages when I have some signal.  Love you all xxxxx

Evening everybody , i've got one thing to say , its so cold we may aswell as be penguins , its freezingggggg

please when is it going to get warmer ?

Take care Lynne xxxxxxxxx

i want this xxx