My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi Ailsa, I did think about moving but that quickly went, my house is paid for too due to Di's cancer. I still have all of Di's things and very often look in her wardrobe and smell her clothes, her slippers are still where they were when she died. My dad was the complete opposite to me, within days of my mum dying he got nearly everything of my mums out of the house and they had just celebrated their 50th anniversary, well I didn't know what to say to him as I was totally shocked. Good night to you and everyone else.

Love Kev xxx

Morning everyone xx

Well done Brad ((())) Natalie is in year 10 and funnily enough got the best report she has ever had at high school this year. Crazy isn`t it? So proud that they have both carried on with their work though, Paul would be proud too. Liam is waiting for his AS results.

Our photos have just arrived from our photoshoot and makeover. Quite pleased with them, at the end of the day they`re photo`s of me!!!! lol x

A grey day here, kids still in bed. Might go to the gym later and go and see Paul`s mum and dad.

Bye for now

Helen xxx

Hi everyone

Kev you actually made me smile for the first time in months with your "I have got more than one quilt set" of course I did then feel guilty for actually smiling but it felt good why it lasted I am glad everyone's children are doing well at school so are mine it's incredible how resilient they are really thank god I've got them! they make me get up and do things even when I would rather hide in the corner and have a good cry

Susie x

Hi Susie

Having my 2 at home is helping me through this I think, some days you want to stay in bed and hide but you can`t when they are about can you? Daughter is cooking tonight, so I am on here while she does it and then we`re watching a dvd.She`s a good girl xxx Son is working tonight.

Susie I am sure your hubbie would want you to laugh so you shouldn`t feel guilty but I do understand, I`ve had those feelings too! We`ve been at my in laws this afternoon (Paul`s mum and dad`s) and his mum was laughing which was lovely to see and Paul would be so pleased as he was worried how they would cope/feel after.

Hope everyone has a relaxing night

Helen xxx

Hi Helen

What a treat somebody else doing the cooking my husband often did the cooking (being Italian he loved food) I really miss that now, my sisters want to come over tonight but to be honest I rather be on my own they are all so sad for me that we all just sit there looking at each other and then we all end up in tears
Anyway have a lovely evening and enjoy your film
Susie x

Hello everyone,

I am doing okay. Took the kids shopping yesterday as had to go to my husbands bank and it was okay but felt quite low when we got home as I would normally show him all the new stuff. Was really grumpy rather than sad but my sister came over later on with a m&s ready meal for me so we sat and watched a dvd and it was okay.

Kev, great news for Brad. My son is 5 in August and has asked for a DS so we bought him one and various games. Will just have to watch he doesn't become too addicted!! I never get to look at my ipod now.

I too feel really sad about selling house but my husband didn't have insurance so unfortunately I don't have a choice. We will get some money from his work, pensions etc which would keep us going a few years but I would rather move than waste the money if you know what I mean.

I am definitely not a cook - husband did all the cookit ng. If I didn't have kids I would live on pot noodles! It is helping my diet though as I make the kids dinners then I have a weightwatchers ready meal. Its amazing the number of flavours they have lol!

I am going back to work on Monday but luckily I am going to work from home the majority of the time and just build up the hours I spend in the office. Will go in Monday morning then maybe next week do Monday and Tuesday morning. I only work part time and worked mon-wed in the office and thurs at home. Think I will negotiate working only two days in the office and two days at home as my mum will watch the kids two days (she lives 1.5hrs away so comes and stay). Because the eldest starts school in August he will need to be picked up at 3pm and I don't want to use a childminder at the moment - want to keep things as uncomplicated as possible for the boys until they have a chance to get used to our new situation.

Anyway, take care everyone and hope your Sunday's go okay. My two boys are going to Grans tomorrow till Tuesday so this will be first time I have been on my own - think I need a break though.

Take Care

Gayle x

Hello everyone, my day (sat) went well, we went to my Aunts (mum's sister) and Uncles and we had a really nice time and no cooking, got home about midnight. Well thats one day of the holiday gone only 48 to go or 1176 hours what ever sounds the best, I think I'll go for 48 days not that I'm counting.

Fiona don't worry about crying, hope your day at work was alright.

Ailsa, was your day ok?

Helen, glad Natalie had a good report too ((((())))) also glad you like your photos.

Susie, it's nice to laugh sometimes and please don't feel guilty about it.

Gayle, I have my I pod on most of the time now, don't really watch TV. You sound like my dad with the Pot Noodles but he is getting better with food now. Good luck with work when you go back.

Thanks everyone for saying well done to Brad, although I did have to make sure they had the correct Brad on the report. Brad is adopted and is half Italian so he loves his food and cries easy (ring any bells Susie?). Take care everyone.

Kev xx

Hi everyone

Hope you have all had a good day, I had to take the boys to buy some white shirts for next week it was diffcult and I was glad to get home because I just felt so sad, sad that I was buying clothes for my husband's funeral and sad that when I got back home he would'nt be there.I have been told by the Italian consulate that it will be next week but I am still waiting for the last bit of paperwork to come from Italy to allow me to have Franco flown back home to be buried there it is so stressful why are Italian's so slow at paperwork
I agree with you Kev I lived out in Italy for 7 years and they are very emotional lot's of arms flying and hand gestures and food is the MOST important thing in their lfe's I couldn't fry an egg before I lived there (I can now thankfully)
Have a nice evening everyone
Susie x