My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi all, Susie I do hope you get all your paper work in time. I remember buying our shirts and suits and it was very difficult not to get upset in the shops as all the sales man said was "is for a wedding". I asked everyone to wear something pink if they could at Di's funeral and everyone did.

Hope everyone else is ok.

Kev xx

Hi everyone. I hope you are all doing well. I remember going shopping for a dress for Chris's funeral now it has been mentioned. Chris and I were supposed to chose one together. I was to get one I could wear again after with happier accessories! It was to end up as a happy dress not a sad one. I think it will look lovely with red shoes etc next time I wear it. It was a great idea to wear something pink to Di's funeral Kev. This hasn't been a bad weekend. I went shopping yesterday and treated myself to a flash coffee machine. I have drunk so many coffees in the past 24 hours that I have no chance of sleeping tonight (or this week for that matter!). I also got an England Footie shirt. Chris was mad that he was going to miss the World Cup so he asked me to buy England shirts for myself, the kids, their partners and Declan. We were to get them printed up in his memory. I have had Chris & 52 put on mine. I will put more pressure on the kids to get theirs sorted out now. I'm paying for them but I need them to go and get them or I will never be out of the sports shop.
I hope you are okay for your husbands funeral next week Susie. It is a difficult day but has to be done for many reasons. If you need some support you know we are all here for you.
I'm sure you will be fine going back to work tomorrow Gayle but take care. It takes some getting back into. Try to think of it as getting some routine in your life. I found that any mention of 'getting back to normal' really upset me as what on earth did anyone else know about what normal is now.
I'm glad your photos are nice Helen. You have just reminded me that on a similar note I have a Christmas present to use for a makeover/pamper. I am seeing my eldest daughter later this week so I will try to organise when we might do the pamper day when I see her.
I will remember to take my laptop with me to Becky's later this week so that I can keep in touch with you all on here. It really helps.
I hope everyone else has had a decent weekend. Take care of yourselves. Ailsa xx

Evening everyone xxx

Susie, hope the funeral goes well, Paul`s funeral ended up quite a celebration of his life. He loved music of all kinds and our daughter made 4 cds from his collection on his computer and everyone ended up singing and dancing to his music. Paul woud have loved the day, not sure if that sounds odd but we all enjoyed it!!!Even the service was lovely and so him xxx Daughter asked me after `is it right to say I enjoyed today?` Personally I think that`s ok xxx Obviously the crematorium was difficult but we certainly celebrated him!! His mum and dad found it helped them listening to all the lovely stories friends shared with them, they learnt a lot about him that day!!

Well my Sunday has been a bit easier than past Sundays. Had a few tears with daughter last night as she did the race for life and we looked for photos to put on her t shirt and that upset us, but she did it so well done her!!

How`s everyone else?

Helen xxx

Hello, Ailsa the England football shirt is a great idea especially with Chris's name on it and the number 52, I might nick that idea from you if thats ok. Enjoy your coffee, could you let me know if the coffee tastes nice, another one I might nick from you.

Susie I too wish all goes well next week and will be thinking of you and your family xxxx.

Helen, I know what you mean about it being an enjoyment at the celebration of life as I enjoyed Di's and it doesn't sound odd. Di's friend's daughter also done the race for life with Di's name on her shirt along with others. Well done to your daughter ((((())))).

Hello Fiona and Gayle, hope you are alright.

Hope everyone else is ok.

Kev xx

Hi Helen I have got to send a picture of Franco out to Italy for the day of the funeral but I just can not look at any photos of him it just makes me cry and cry I think how is it possible that my husband is no longer here when does it actually sink in that they are never going to walk in the door again?
Thank you Ails, Kev and Helen for all your words of support it's very much appreciated I know it is a day that I am going to have to face and anyway I need to be strong for the children
Take care all of you
Susie x

Hi everyone. Susie - is there any way someone else can choose the photo you need to send to Italy? If there isn't or you feel you need to do it then you have to try to do it by telling yourself you are doing it for Franco. When you have chosen the right one be proud that you did it for Franco. Accept that you will be really upset but know that that is only because of how you feel about him so be proud of that as well. Even now I cannot accept that Chris will never walk through the door again so I avoid thinking about it as much as possible. I think about Chris all the time but try to avoid thinking about not seeing or hearing him again. You have tough times ahead but you will do what you must for yourself, the children and for Franco. Take care Susie. Ailsa xx

Hi Kev. Feel free to use the England shirts idea. Our plan is to wear them for all the qualifying games and any others in between. Then the World cup itself. I'm not a massive footie fan but I get giddy about big, significant games. I went to Wembly last year for the FA cup semi-final with Chris, our son Stu and his girlfriend. That was great fun. The coffee from the new machine is lovely and the hot chocolate is even better. I bought the Krups one that looks like a small animal! The other one does more varieties of coffee etc but is nowhere near as cute! The one I got does about 7 so surely that's enough? Ailsa xx

Hi Ailsa, thanks I will get the shirt done and wear it at the same times and will think of you and Chris. Seven is a lot of coffee and will be plenty, Brad hates coffee and only drinks tea every so often, but loves hot chocolate. Take care, Kev xx

Hi all. Well after a fairly good weekend I seem to be having a problem going off to bed tonight. I am going to make a more serious attempt in just a minute but need to say a big well done to your daughter Helen for completing the race for life before I go. Look after yourselves. Goodnight. Ailsa xx

Hi Ailsa, as my dad always said "go asleep up there".

Kev xx