My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa
Hi Everyone,
Hope everybody ok tonight, i am just back from my daughters she has me for tea every Thurs. Kev weather not been bad today but a bit muggy tonight. Gayle glad you got on ok with estate agent I am not far from Ayrshire about a hour away. My sister and me took my dad a run in the car today he doesn't keep good health so he is not out much, but back to work tomorrow and Sat so hope shop busy one or two holiday makers going about now. You are right about just being a number to consultants. The doctor that looked after Derek at home has been so good to me she keeps in touch with me every week to see how i am doing, more than my doctor done he came once when Derek died and more or less said i just had to get on with it. My daughters scan went ok today so her date is the 5th of Dec, so something to look forward to later in the year just wish Derek was still here to enjoy it with me. O dear i am getting upset now so better go.
Take Care
Fiona xxxxxxxx
Hi Everyone,
Hope everybody ok tonight, i am just back from my daughters she has me for tea every Thurs. Kev weather not been bad today but a bit muggy tonight. Gayle glad you got on ok with estate agent I am not far from Ayrshire about a hour away. My sister and me took my dad a run in the car today he doesn't keep good health so he is not out much, but back to work tomorrow and Sat so hope shop busy one or two holiday makers going about now. You are right about just being a number to consultants. The doctor that looked after Derek at home has been so good to me she keeps in touch with me every week to see how i am doing, more than my doctor done he came once when Derek died and more or less said i just had to get on with it. My daughters scan went ok today so her date is the 5th of Dec, so something to look forward to later in the year just wish Derek was still here to enjoy it with me. O dear i am getting upset now so better go.
Take Care
Fiona xxxxxxxx
Hi everyone
I have just be reading some of your messages and feeling so sad for myself and for all of you I lost my husband on the 8th July 2009 and although I knew he was going he had primary liver cancer, the shock is overwhelming if it wasn't for my four children I don't think that I would see any reason to carry on he was the love of my life and I just can't imagine life without him his funeral is next week and as he was Italian his body is being taken back to Italy which is what he wanted how does life ever get back to some sort of normality ever again I feel like I am going mad with the grief of it all
Thinking of you all at this incredibly sad time
Susie x
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