Long lonely day found it difficult

Toosoon 25 days ago

5 replies
24 subscribers
320 views

Strange day for me spoke to my original bereavement support yesterday and today and she confirmed my proper official grief counselling support will start next week sometime with someone else. It’s a shame as having met the original lady when my husband was in the hospice I felt comfortable talking and crying down the phone with here with her so I went for a walk and felt a little sad. (Silly i know ) God knows what they do when they are listening to us ???

I was lucky yesterday though to have had a aromatherapy session organised with the hospice for me a head massage shoulders face never having anything like this before felt very strange and especially as it would usually have been my husbands touch so it took me a while to relax into this without crying . I did feel relaxed for a bit. So can recommend this to anyone needing a bit of pampering?

Felt tired today and came to bed at 2pm for a couple of hours not ideal I know but really couldn’t be bothered to do anything else and tea was the same as yesterdays so nothing to prepare. I was kept awake last night with the young neighbour who likes to do gaming in the garage he calls out to other players however and I got so wound up I went and switched of the electric for a few seconds as I live in flat I have assess yes I know a. It naughty but I felt better for doing after. My husband would have yelled out and told him to shut up and keep the noise down .

Then I called EAP which is an 24 employee assistance program who help you personally so I thought I’d have a chat and no one will call me back till Monday!
Next tried the bereavement coffee evening I’m still debating about whether to go to or not but again no answer so this time I left a message. This will be my third time of calling I just want a friendly welcoming reassuring voice to answer and speak to me and tell me a bit about next weeks coffee evening

Next stop I’m in bed now will try to read a bit of my new book How to survive losing a loved one. !! (Coping with you partners terminal illness and death and building the next chapter in your life
I really don’t know yet how to that’s for sure……and I know I’m going to have to but I’ve said it before I was happy with what we had together and the thought of having to change is blimin daunting.

Do I speak to the EAP people as well

Do I attend the coffee evening I really don’t know what the hell to do or who to talk to.

Shall I just stick to the support organised for next week for me will it just all be too much ?

Groovybrew 25 days ago

Hey, just came across your post. I’m so sorry that you are feeling so alone. I’d say go for anything and everything that’s on offer. If it’s too much you can always decide to postpone. I know it’s hard when you have built up a relationship with a counsellor. Hopefully the new person will be as supportive as the last. Good luck.

Toosoon 25 days ago in reply to Groovybrew

Thank you

GhostLoveScore 25 days ago

Try what you can, and hopefully you will find something that fits you. We are all different what works for one might not work for the other. The bereavement coffee is hit and miss for me, sometimes I think it does me good the next why am I here. Yet I still go because its nice to be sat in company.

PattyK 23 days ago

Hi Toosoon!

I have been finding bed to be the safe option in the last few weeks as well. Spoke to my neighbour on Thursday was supposed to go to her daughter's 30th last weekend but it was the anniversary of Jay's funeral 2 years ago and I just couldn't face it. I apologised and she said not to worry but that she hadn't seen me out and about for a good while and I said to her how I had been feeling over the last couple of weeks and she said that that was understandable given what I've been through over the last couple of years with Jay being ill then passing and now having to go through health issues with my sister. All I've been going out to do is to take the dog out. He needs to get out so it's been a case of walking him to the end of the road and back again and then its just been not going anywhere else if I can avoid it going out to the bin as well is all really. Been back to the GP and he has upped my medication I am on anti-depressants already so he has increased the dose slightly for me and he says the same everything that has gone on over the last couple of years has probably just come to a head for me. I fell out with my son last week over a stupid little incident which I posted here already I think. So not me, and just so out of character for me. So I know I do need to give myself a good kick up the backside and starting from this week will maybe try and `drag` myself back to gym I have let that slide over the last couple of weeks too. Good for the feelgood endorphins so they say so will see if this gets me moving and motivated again. I wish you and everyone else here well. Take care all.

Vicky xx

Jkee 22 days ago in reply to PattyK

Hi Vicky sorry to read this I have always looked up to you through our journey the last 3 years after you lost Jay how to still looked after us on our bowel Cancer forum now I am on here after Simon passed end of May I am really struggling 7 weeks on apart from walking the dog just cry all day looking at Simon's photo a young 58 year old smiling happy beautiful man my heart hurts just yearning to hug him and the horrible ending is etched in my brain . I hope you are ok message me anytime hugs to you xx

More from this forum

Long lonely day found it difficult