My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi everyone.  Enjoy the football Helen - and the peace and quiet with the kids out!  I am glad the difficulty at work settled down.  Enjoy your weekend away.

I just got home - Stu is coming to start my plastering tomorrow and I needed to get some coving for him to put up.  I am a bit fed up of the disruption now but once the plastering is done I will be able to crack on with the decorating.  Things should start to move again after the weekend.

Becky is coming up to see me this weekend so that will be a nice distraction.

What a nuisance your buyers are being Gayle.  Thye are so inconsiderate.  I will keep my fingers crossed that it will all be over for you and the boys soon.

When does your course finish Lynne - is it tomorrow?

Well I should get off and finish unpacking my bit of shopping.  I still need to move a few things for Stu for tomorrow.

Hope everyone else is okay this evening - is anyone up to anything nice?  Ailsa xx

Just going to do a little post before I go to bed or I might not be able to sleep.  I have been getting the last few things moved out of the way for Stu tomorrow and now I have ended up in tears.  This sitting room makeover is just starting to get to me.  I am fed up of living in disarray and now tonight I am frightened of breaking something or not doing it right.  It feels like the job is ever so slightly too big for me to do.  I don't want to do it wrong.  I need it to be finished now but there is still a couple of weeks work to go yet.  If Stu plasters by the weekend I can paint next week and it should be done for the end of the month.  Stu is away for the last weekend of the month so I can put everything back in it;s place but he won't be able to do curtain poles and the light fighting until the next weekend.  Then I can get the carpet cleaned and buy a new chair.  It still seems like it will be finished before Shona's hen weekend but by then it will have been going on for about 6 weeks.  I feel a little bit better now I have typed this and I can see what should happen next.

Gayle - I so admire you.  I know I am doing a big job in the sitting room but you are moving your whole house and I am getting in a state over one room.  Sorry for the brain dump everyone but if I didn't do this I don't think I would sleep.  I need a certain person to reassure me but that is not going to happen so I need to lean on you lovely people a bit I think.  Thanks.  Goodnight everyone.  Ailsa xx

Hi Everyone,

Ailsa you will get there i also have to do my sitting room and stairs i painted my bedroom but think my sitting room and stairs just to big a task for me, it's a thought getting someone in to do it and a bit scared to start in case baby comes early and i am in the middle of it all so think it will have to wait a bit. Lynne hope you got on ok today have you many more days to go? Galye sorry about your house but it may sort itself out soon. Helen enjoy your weekend away with your daughter. Hope everyone else doing ok. I have been shopping with Kim today so thats her all ready for baby now she is gettibg so tired now when you are shopping. I still think when i am getting home from being away Derek is going to be sitting in his chair and saying to me where have you been i thought you were away to London shopping the time we had been. I have had my friend down tonight so thats passed the evening for me no knitting done tonight. Well better get to bed as working in the morning goodnight everyone  Fiona xxxxxxxxxxx  

Evening all , sorry its late , the kids made me go out for tea with them all as they knew what a bad dayi'd had yesterday , and then i've had a bit of studying , so now i'm in bed with lap top which hopefully is behaving . It was was a bit better day , but this afternoon she was talking about strokes ,and the only other woman on the course with me walked out , its only a few weeks since she lost her gran to a stroke . The instructor spent quite a lot of time talking to me this morning , i think she was feeling bad , and she told me i'd be better off leaving tommorow at some stage and she would tell me when . I cant believe how intence the course is thank goodness its the last day tommorow . We,ve got the assesments in the afternoon and then thats it thank goodness ..

Gayle sorry about the house , i hope it all works out for you xx. Helen looks like a pretty busy weekend , are you sure your up to it ? lol Ailsa and Fiona , thankyou for your support as always . Must try and get some sleep now .. Night all

Lynne xxxxx

Good morning.  The brain dump worked last night - I only woke up a couple of times and didn't stay awake for long.  I have several meetings today and couldn't afford to be tired - thanks.  Good luck with the final day Lynne,  You've done brilliantly and you will be justifiably proud of yourself after today.  Glad things are all bought for Kim Fiona.  I like to do things to my own plans etc which is why I can't really get someone in to do this sitting room job.  I think that makes me a bit of a control freak but hey ho!!  I feel better this morning though.  Going for a chat to me fella on the way home tonight and Stu will be here so that will be nice.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xx

Good evening everyone.  Feel a bit silly about last night but a few words with Chris on the way home and a chat with Stu have helped.  I just suddenly got it into my head that I was going to mess up last night.  Chris did so much DIY in this house that I feel I need to look after what he has done.  After a chat to Stu I agree I do need to look after it but it isn't going to last forever so I need to stop worrying about it and carry on like I did when Chris was here.

Well done again Lynne for passing your assessment - I saw the news on FB.  I hope everyone else is okay this evening.  Ailsa xx

Evening all, I can not remember the last time we had so much rain in one day.  I think my tow dogs must have the brains of a goldfish because they keep wanting to go out and and soon as we get kitted out: me - hat, coat, scarf, boots, gloves, bag etc and the dogs: coats, leads - they take one look at me as if I were mad and dash to get in again.  Only for the whole thing to happen an hour later!!

Ailsa, don't you feel silly at all.  Obviously Chris was like Ed, very good and organised at DIY and decorating and very, very rarely did we ever get anyone in to 'do stuff'.  And although I am fairly capable at some of it, it is very much a confidence thing, and also that idea that there was the two of you making decisions etc and if something does go a bit wrong, well it went wrong together.  So I do understand exactly what you are saying.  I have realised that there is nothing wrong in making sure the job is done properly either by getting a 'professional' or just taking your time and trying not to worry too much.  You should be patting yourself on the back - not getting yourself into a tizzy.  Well done you. 

Lynne - you are a wee star - not for one minute did we think that the result woudl be any different though.  Patricia - where are you?  Haven't heard from you in ages - are you ok hun? 

Off to see how fast the river (that used to be my street) is running and see if it is time to try going for a walk again.  Speak later.

Judi xxx

Evening all . well i got through it as most of you know as i posted on face book with my mobile , the assesments were ok , and although i did forget 1 little thing i did correct myself , its awful when your mind goes blank , i didn't know my own name before i went in , but once i got started it was ok and everywas passed with no problems .. We had to fill a report in about the course and intructor needless to say i put a few things down about using personel experiences too often , and i realise she was doing it to make herself look clever. My boss was mortified when i told her what happened and she blamed herself for sending me , but it wasn't her fault , i thought i was ready and i was , i just wasn't ready for the insesitivness of one person . When she was trying to talk about it with me yesterday i said to her that she had made me think about things that i couldn't think about yet , her answer was "it will probably do you good to get them out in the open " so i told her that i would think about those things when i felt ready and not when someone else decided and certainly not in a room full of strangers , i dont think she was impressed with my answer . oh well tough ..

I know what you mean about going to have a good talk with your man  , it helps me tremendously . I got a call from the cemetery superintendant today to say they have issued the permit for the headstone so hopefully it wont be long now .

Thank you all for your good wishes on face book and here .I will be glad to get back to real work tommorow tho .

Lynne xxxxx

Hi Everyone,

Just a quick post before i go to bed,I have had a friend in tonight again so she is just away. Hope everyone is ok tonight, and well done Lynne. My sleeping no better getting later and later and then waken off and on all night, but off work tomorrow so don't need to jump up early. Speak soon.

Take Care

Fiona xxxxxxxxx  

Morning all -

Lynne - well done with your course.  Hope your feedback is listened to by organisers/tutors etc........so unfeeling of that person!!!!!  I felt so cross on your behalf when I read that!!!!!  See you Sunday - we did a 5-mile walk last weekend and Alan coped really well....So we have high hopes for the Ladybower walk!!!!!!  No record-breaking times - but a boost to his self-esteem!!!!  Always my Action Man!!!!! 

Fiona - did you manage to sleep OK last night???  Hope you can enjoy a lazy day off today!!!!!

Sorry - can't remember now who's doing what - ggggrrrrrrrr....... aging/retired brain cell to blame!!!!  But to those of you moving/decorating/putting seats/headstones in place - hope everything goes to plan for you all and that it looks as you want it to when finished!!!! Love and lots of ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))) to you all  Dot xxxxxxxxxx