My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Lynne sorry you`ve had such a bad day xxxxx If we were closer we could have a night out but on our track record over the weekend we`d never get home!!! Not necessarily a bad thing eh??? Mind you like Judi said it would be hard doing 2 nights on the run!! Can`t do it anymore ha ha!

Hope you`re feeling better tonight xx

Patricia well done with your decorating, you have been busy!!

Also well done to Gayle, you` ve done so well xx

Evening to everyone else, how`s your day been Ailsa and Fiona?

Love to everyone too xx

Helen xxx

Hi  Helen , yes we'd defo never get home , and even if we tried ther'd be something for me to trip over or something .Dont think i could do 2 nights now but i'd give it a dam good try lol.i'm ok now , just see what tommorow brings .

Lynnexxx

Hi Kev hope you and Janie doing ok , give her my love xxx

Hi Kev, to me the fact that you are not posting on here that often is an indication that you are managing to make some sort of life for yourself. Good for you and I wish you well x x Patricia x x

Hello everyone.  I have just been catching up.  Lynne my younger sister's wedding is on the 21st November but we are having the most amazing hen weekend the weekend before.  I think you will all know what I am thinking - the hen weekend is amazing and Chris would not have been there. I am far more apprehensive about the wedding because he should have been there.  I have made sure I told Fiona that over the weekend as I may need help.  I am the eldest sister and Shona wants me to sit at the top table with my mum & dad.  I am crying just thinking about it.  I hoped the shopping would help but not sure now.

Gayle I am so glad you have finished your packing.  What is your move date?  You are going to deserve the biggest rest possible when this is done.

Lynne I am sorry the first aid course has been so tough though not a bit surprised (((hugs))).

Now I have started typing I can't see previous posts but I think it is Sue & Patricia - I am not doing wallpaper just emulsion and gloss but Stu is coming on Wednesday to start the plastering I need in the sittingroom and then I will need to crack on as I want to finish the sitting room before the wedding.  I still need to find a light fitting and I have to get the coving tomorrow so that Stu can fit it.

I didn't sleep well at all last night - avoidance tactics like you Patricia.  I go to bed too late but I usually sleep.  I didn't last night.  I woke up at 3 and was still awake at 4 so I got up and made a drink and emptied the dish washer.  Then I watch TV and read a newsparper.  I fell back to sleep at 5 and had to get up at 6.  So I am going to get oof and try to catch up.  Hi Helen - hope you are doing okay.  Hi to Fiona as well and anyone else as I am a bit tired and can't think who I might have missed.  Take care.  Ailsa xx

Hi Kev and JanieJane xx

Hi Everyone,

Lynne i do hope you are feeling better tonight i know it's very hard. Helen i can hardly do one night now never mind two just hate the thought of a hangover. Gayle well done you are doing so well soon you will move in to your new house and you will be nearer your mum and dad. Ailsa how are you doing? Patricia well done on your decorating wish i could do it, wish you lived nearer me and you could give me some lessons, i done my bedroom but my brother in law done the papering, but plenty more needing done just don't know where to start. Sue Kev Judi hope you are all ok if i have missed out anybody i am sorry i need to start writing down notes as i am reading all the posts. I have been knitting   tonight just finished another cardi, fed up knitting in white now. Had Kim in for tea tonight her husband away in lorry but he is home later tonight. Well better get off to bed as seen 3 30 morning and had not slept. Speak soon.

Take Care

Fiona xxxxxxxxx

Morning all , well i'm ready for today , my concentration level was zero yesterday and everything "she" talked about hyad my mind drifting back to the last week in hospital , some things i hadn't dared to think about came into my mind , maybe i needed it , i dont know .When i went to the cemetery after the course i cried like i hadn't cried for a couple of weeks , so i'm thinking i needed that too , maybe trying to run before i can walk . I'll just try and keep my mind on the course today , i made 3 pages of notes yesterday , i cant really remember doing them but they have been usefull to go over the day . Patricia i'm still ready for the avoiddance tactics but i think everybody will know now anyway . Well done on the decorating , i've been thinking of doing some but i soon came to my sences and got that idea out my head lol. xx

Ailsa i'm sure the hen weekend will be great and i'm sure you'll get the help you need to get throught hte wedding , it sounds like you have a good family xx

Fiona , i know what you mean about sleep , i watch the clock go round then very often give up and get up , maybe proper sleep patterns will return one day xx

Gayle you must be getting so excited about moving , i go through stages of wanting to move then wanting to stay . They are just doing a big development about 500yards away from where i live . a Tesco extra and football ground (you'll want to come and stay with me then Helen lol), new hotel and shops , might be usefull for the area or it might drag it down , its hard to know which way it will go , so i'll just stay put for now .(dont really have much choice anyway untill things are settled xx

Hi Judi Sue , Esme and Quill have a good stress free day .xx

Take care

Lynne xxxxxx

Hello everyone,

Huge virtual hugs to you Lynne.  I too would have walked out as I don't think I would have coped with them talking about "last days".  When I was at my body shop meeting they were talking about gifts for men and were talking about fathers day (the day Wully died) and I struggled with that so I can't imagine how you managed to get through the day.  You are very brave and we are all very proud of you!

I had a rubbish day today.  Really stressful at work and then my boss was being a pain.  Plus the solicitor was on the phone as the people still haven't signed for my house.  I am giving them to the start of next week and then I am going to put it back up for sale as they are really driving me mad.  I am furious with them.  The only issue it gives me is that I am paying for a house that I am not living in but hopefully it won't take long to sell again if it comes to it.  It definitely won't be concluded by the 30th but I will still move out that day as I get my new house keys on the 28th and Jamie starts school on the 2nd November.  What a pain!!!  I reduced the price by £3000 for them as well!  Well if I have to sell again I will not lower the price and the £3k that I reduced by will cover me for 3 months to sell again so shouldn't be too bad financially.  Just a bit of a headache though.  Thankfully I work from home the rest of the week so will get peace lol!  The boys are very excited about moving and Jamie is counting down the days so that is good.  I got a lovely gift from a good friend today for moving.  She gave me a lovely handmade wooden box with the inscription "memories are like keepsakes - always to be treasured" on it.  It is lovely and I will keep some special things in it like Wully's ring and watch.  Very thoughtful.

We will need to start looking at booking our hotel for Newcastle - it will give me something to look at it.  If I get a chance this week I will look at the prices and facilities again.  I am looking to book up to go and see Paul McKenna on 30th January in Birmingham.  Supposedly he reprogrammes your mind so that you don't need to diet again ha ha!!!!  Might be a laugh though.  I have persuaded my mum to babysit so I will just get the train down and stay in a travelodge nearby.

Anyway, enough of my ranting.  Hope everyone else had a better day than me :-)

Gayle xx

Evening everyone

Forgot to say hi to Kev last night, big Hi!!!!

Hope today was easier Lynne xx

Hi Gayle, what a pain!!!! At least you can see some positives if it doesn`t go through xxx

Feeling ok this week, had difficult time with a colleague last week and was all set to sort things out Monday as it upset me and was getting me down but it has been better so I`ve let sleeping dogs lie so to speak!!! Don`t like confrontations but was ready for it Monday morning lol!!

I`ve got 2 days left then half term!! Can`t wait, busy weekend too, out for a meal with friends on Friday night then away for the weekend with daughter to Manchester to Blood Brothers on Saturday. Staying over then bit of shopping on Sunday!

Watching Liverpool now, son gone to the match and daughter out at Rangers.

Hope everyone else has had an ok day

Helen xxx