My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi again

My hair is ok, no more roots!!!

22nd November booked to bury Paul`s ashes. 3 days before his birthday!! They do it after the morning service. Think I might take us all out for lunch after.

Well done for getting the bench sorted Ailsa, feels like a relief doesn`t it? Have a lovely weekend with your sister.

Lynne I can`t believe your insurance people!!! When I was sorting my mortgage my building society gave me a 3 month break from paying the mortgage by which time it was all sorted and paid off. Was a great help.

Sleep well everyone

Helen xxx

Esme, how perceptive you are. it is good to see you back. Sorry i did not contact you on f/b shame on me.

Ailsa well done on sorting out the bench etc. Wouldn't fancy sleeping with a laptop though lol.  Good luck with the outfit shopping

Helen hope the 22nd Nov goes well for you. good idea to go for a meal afterwards

Sue, Fiona, Kaz, Dottee, Lynne, Judi and anyone I have forgotten (sorry) I hope you are ok.

Love and angel hugs x x patricia x x

Hi everyone

Lynne, Lynne, Lynne - how you have stayed sane tody I don't know.  I must have been very fortunate with my dealings with insurance companies because I remember it was weeks rather than months that things were sorted.  It is only now, when I hear of the sort of problems that some of you have had that I realise that.  However, Esme don't get me started on Barclays.  I will never forgive them for the mess they made when Ed died.  I wrote a couple of very strongly worded heartfelt letters, but I am sure that the only positive effect they had was for me and not in any new procedures they should put in place, it sounds that their 'customer service' hasn't improved any.

Helen thanks for the photo comment - it is actually of my wedding. I really don't like having my photo taken at all.  I always loved the idea of the makeover/photoshoot, but worried that they wouldn't be able to help!  Any photo that I think is 'ok' everyone says "Oh, that doesn't look anything like you" lol. 

Did spend last night looking through photos to put on Facebook, and of course ended up in tears. Haven't really used FB much as I only joined because my neice wanted me to see her photos.  But am beginning to get the hang of it a little now.  If I am totally honest, although here I am able (and love) being jokey when I am having a good day - I am quite reticent to be 'seen to be having fun'.  Don't know why - I am sure that people would be pleased but a bit of me feels disloyal or something stupid like that. 

Bit wobbly today, my boss (a nearly blind professor that I read for part-time) came to work at my house today because his many children were on holiday. I pick him up and take him home and this evening I was told that two of my neighbours had been 'very surprised to see a man coming out of my house, it has only been a year'.  It hadn't crossed my mind and I am now feeling very vulnerable cos whilst I don't feel the need to put them right I can't bear the thought of people thinking that.  I know my darling would be laughing at me, cos he never gave a monkeys what others thought, and if he were here I could laugh with him, but he's not.  I don't know about you guys, but there are times that I feel I have never really been an 'adult' without him - steep learning curve. 

Enough of this, keyboard wet.  Love to all.  Judi xx

Hi, all

Just popped on to say goodnight!

Have been busy tonight putting together n IKEA flat packed bathroom cabinet. Done it!!!! No bits left over, either.

helen,  bet your hair looks gorgeous - don't get too near those little ones tomorrow - don't want any  unwelcome visitors!

     Itching just thinking about it.

Lynne - give them hell.

My Charlie kitten has had his x-ray and is now out of his cage for good! He's also had his bits chopped off, and been identichipped whilst under the anaesthetic. Far from being a little under the weather tonight, he has been racing round like a hooligan.  Good to see him better, though.

Man coming first thing in the morning to lay new flooring in 5 rooms, so have to be up early. Boo!

Love to all

sue x

 Hi Everyone,

Well at last i have been able to sign in i don't know whats going on. Hope you are all doing ok. I have been off today and i have never stopped all day it's my sisters 60th on Sat and trying to buy something for somebody who has everything is really hard as i have to buy for my dad as well. So still not got him anything yet but my time is running  out. It's been a good day here so been getting more baby clothes washed. I have nothing planned for the weekend my sister doesn't want any fuss but will go and see her on Sat night, i would have not got through this year without her. Well will get off to bed now as working tomorrow. Luv to All  Fiona  xxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Morning all , well i've had round 2 but i'm nit sure who won , thinks there is a round 3 . Would you believe i got the very same girl , she was being very carfull about what she said to start with , i told her i was still waiting for her return phone call , she said she was waiting for the assesors to get back to her as she had passed a note to them , she then said she would give me a call back , i said no it wasn't good enough and i wanted to speak to a supervisor as this had gone on long enough , she said it would be late afternoon when she would be able to talk to me , i said "no i really would like to speak to someone now " she then went off the phone , when she came back she said , i,ve checked up on the mortgage protection and it had been stopped but they are trying to get it opened again , so i said once again , this is not good enough its costing me money all the time , she just kept saying i'll phone you back when the assesors get back to me , so once again i asked what number she would be calling me on and yes you've guessed it she read Gordons number out again , so i lost it then i said i really hoped he answered this time , i could have understood it if it was a different person i spoke to but she hadn't even changed the records i had to give her my mobile number again . My daughter is already drafting a letter of complaint . grrrrrr again , but i am a lot calmer today , i'm getting flipping used to there incompitance , its the Halifax by the way and once all this is sorted i will be moving everything to another bank .

Judi i know what you mean about seeming to be having fun , i was wary about even going to Benidorm let alone putting the photos on face book , but my genuine friends and my family are really pleased for me , they hate the thought of me sat here , what theu dont know is i've got a lot of support from you lovely people too . I'm not sure what Gordons family think but as we speak one of his daughters is in Tenerefe , so i dont supose they can say to much , they know how much i love there dad and always will what ever happens in the future .

Sue i hope your house looks fab , after all the work you've done , i'm sure it did anyway xx

Thanks for the good chat last night Patricia ,you taught me well xx

Helo to everybody else , i'm off to work now , and i await my phone call lol

Take care

Lynne

Hi all , well no phone call , not sure weather to keep banging my head against a brick wall or throw the towel in and just wait to see what happens , but it is costing me money (about 500 pound ) a month ..

Fed up Lynne xxxxxxxxxx

Lynne that`s awful!!! Sorry for being bit thick, are you waiting for the settlement of your mortgage? Don`t throw the towel in, it`s hard work but stick at it xxx

Had a really hard day at work. Not the job itself but someone I work very closely with. Long story and can`t really go into to it but one of those days that makes me want Paul even more (if that`s possible!) Think she thinks I should be `better` and I`m strong so can cope with things she can`t (her mum`s got lung cancer) but unfortunately we all have to get on with things and work is one place I try and switch off but at the moment that is practically impossible and it`s getting me down!! Cross with myself for getting upset about it, got enough other things that upset me so don`t need this one!! Hard when I can`t explain full story but at least it`s the weekend!

What`s everyone up to?

Helen xx

Hi Helen  sorry your having a tough time at the moment , tommorow is another day and i hope its a better one for you . i'm actually waiting for 2 things , one is life insurance and the other is the accident and sickness which they are saying they've closed that claim even tho they probably owe me about 2000 pound , not a huge amount but we paid into the insurance and they should pay up . The life insurance is the one i think they are trying to get out of paying too , they have 19 years of doctors records so i'm sure they think they will find something . Once its settled i'm hoping to have enough to pay the mortgage off . I know i babble on and all the phone calls to the insurance companies i think i confuse them too , but they can see i've got 2 claims in , i've actually got a complaints phone number now which i will probably phone on monday .

Lynne xxxxx

Hope you get it sorted Lynne, big relief if you could get the mortgage paid off. I remember when Paul had a critical illness policy that eventually paid out when he was first diagnosed 5 years ago, I was on the phone constantly!! They don`t make it easy!!

Helen xxx