My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Morning girls - am going away for a couple of days today so thought I'd just drop by and leave you masses of squishy (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) to comfort you all..........Fingers crossed for some good weather so we can do a bit of walking.............and be out and about.  Hereford (where we're going) is a beautiful place - especially just now............ Autumn leaves and lots of apples and pears................Speak to you all when we get back........Take care............Love and more (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) Dot xxxxxxxxx 

PS - your benches sound lovely - I may seem a bit odd to some folks because I think cemeteries are fascinating places!!!!  Especially the old ones with the Victorian graves in!!!  So I find nothing strange in wanting a seat there or spending time chatting to the 'residents'.........at least they don't argue back!!!!  (Please forgive my flippancy - I don't mean to offend you!!!!) Dot xxxx

Morning all

Dottee have a lovely time , i hope the mild weather we've been having keeps up , not long for the walk now , dont you overdo it this week lol . Judi , glad we're friends on face book now , you'll have to get more pictures on when you get chance hun , i love lookking at everybodies pictures .

Well my little sis has been having a really bad time , since the bag snatch , she's had a book case fall on her head (and you thought i ws accident prone lol) which resulted in her being knocked out and needing the cuts glued at A and E , and then yesterday somebody ran into the back of her car whilst she was waiting at a junction . It didn't damage her car to much but the monster in the car who did it jumped out and tried to say she'd reversed into him , why anybody would reverse at a junction beats me , well he was shouting and screaming at her , she asked him to calm down as she had her little granddaughter in the back of the car but he continued , so she started to phone her husband for support when he drove off , she took his number but he will be in for a big shock as the dad to the little girl is a Det Con in the police force and he wasn't very pleased when he realised what had happened with his little girl in the car so he will be paying him a visit , i hope he frightens the living daylights out of him . It made me so mad to think that these people can go round doing these things and try and get away with it .

Anyway off to work for me now , had a really eventfull one too , but thats another story lol .

Hope evrybody is ok and there week isn't to stress full .

Take care speak later

Lynne xxxxxxxxx

I hope things start to improve for you Lynne. Hope the errant driver gets what he deserves.

Dottee, have a great time if you can.

I hope that everyone else is doing ok. This roller coaster is a never ending ride isn't it.

I sometimes feel like screaming 'stop the World I want to get off ' .

Have the best day you can.

Love and angel hugs x x Patricia x x

Hi everyone

Quick note before I go to the hairdressers!! Your pic is lovely too Judi, mine was taaken at a makeover and photoshoot that Paul had bought me for Xmas. I went with daughter a few weeks after he died. Bit emotional but lovely day!

Lynne hope your day hasn`t been too bad. Your poor sister xxx

I`ve had a phone call from the church to say Paul`s headstone is ready so we need to organise a date to bury his ashes. Hoping to do it in half term, have left a message on her answer machine.

Dot have a lovely break, hope the weather stays nice.

Hi Patricia I say that quite often!!!

I feel much better today and on a `good spell`, see if it lasts!!

How`s everyone else`s day been, nearly the weekend!! Catch you all later when I`ve had my hair done!!

Helen xxx

Evening all , i'm glad the head stone and ashes will be sorted soon Helen , i know it will be very emotional too but it wil be somewhere for you to go and talk to Paul , as i'm sure you do all the time . I had to go and have a good chat with Gordon to calm me down this morning , even tho it was raining , i sat there with my brolly and i was fine . I decided to phone the insurance company up too see what was happening with the 2 claims i've got in , one is for sickness , which should pay the monthly payments on the mortgage, this has been on going since march , they paid out last year no problem when Gordon was having chemo but for some reason this time they have been stalling . When Gordon died on July 1st obviously i claimed on the life insurance . I asked to speak to someone about the life claim , she asked my name , my husbands name and then asked if he was there , i tried to keep calm and told her that is why i was claiming life insurance , she'd got the notes in front of her so she must have known , she did apologise and told me the claim was still with the assesors , still !!!!  i then asked about the mortgage protection , she said , oh that claim is closed , so i said how can it be you still owe me from march to at least July , we had this protection so we never had to worry about paying the mortgage yet i'm left paying it now whilst they are stalling , i also have to keep paying the insurance instalments untill its settled , i told her all this and she said she could see my point , but she was getting flusstered , she kept saying , i'll look into it and call you back (i've heard that one before ) she kept trying to put the phone down so i asked her which number she would be calling me back on as i was going to work now , she looked in her notes and said "oh yes here it is " and then read Gordons mobile number out , so i said i hoped when she phoned that number my husband answered and gives her what for, for causing me all this stress , she apologised again and took my mobile number and promised to call back later , i'm still waiting .I will call again in the morning and ask to speakto a supervisor and hopefully find out whats happening . Apart fro that i've not had a bad day , my sister is fine , worse thing happen as we all know . Hope everybody else is fine ..

Take care

Lynne xxxxxx

Sending you some big hugs Lynne, and to everyone else as well.
Love Quill xx

Hope the hair appointment went well Helen.

Lynne, it is incomprehensible how ridiculously inadequate some of these insurance companies can be. Do they not realise that they are causing more distress to an already distressed person.  I loved your answer about the mobile phone number they were planning to use. I got a letter once for Ray from the GP survey offices and ignored it. When they sent me a repeat one I suggeswted they send it to 'Heaven' as he had relocated to that address.  I would love to have been a fly on the wall when they opened that one.   I hope that you manage to get someone who can help you tomorrow.  Good luck.

I hope everyone else is having a reasonable evening. 

Love and angel hugs x x Patricia x x

Fingers crossed and I will type really fast and see if this connection holds and it accepts my post.....

Lynne what a day!  Glad your sister is ok and well done dealing with the insurance company, honestly they have not sensitivitey at all sometimes - a bit like Barclays when I took the death cert in to take Steve's name off the account, I passed it across to the bloke and he then looked at it and said "So your husband is dead?"  There are a few answers I could have given.  I hope they can get it sorted out for you, definitely ask for a supervisor or manager and if they can't give you one tell them you will be contacting the FSA and complaining about the service you have been receiving, that should wake them up a bit.

Now I'm a bit out of touch as although I have been able to read most of the thread today the actual internet connection has been playing up and meantime you lot have all been posting like mad! :-) Anyway, love to you all and big hugs - Patricia I feel you are needing a huge hug, a mug of tea and maybe I had better get baking an apple cake, you always try to be strong but I think you need a bit extra at the moment. I'm going to try posting this now and hope it works - thanks Ailsa and Lynne for keeping me in touch on FB, it's nice to have all of you there as back up. xxxx

Hello everyone.  NIce to see a message from you at last Esme.  I wander what the problem has been though??

Lynne - what a day.  I am glad your sister is okay and that the bloke concerned will get his come-upance shortly.  Cars seem to turn people into such rude people.  I have signed on the dotted line and paid the deposit for the kerb and headstone today and alos put in the order for the bench.  They have to send me out some forms as I want 3 plaques put on the bench and then I send them back with a cheque.  The council will do the flagstone base for free as they class the bench as a donation.  I can't wait for it all to be done now.  I had to choose a bench and was finding it difficult to decide so I chose one with flat arms so that my cup of coffee has somewhere to sit while I visit Chris - the kids thought that was hilarious.  Dot - you don't offend by saying it is nice to visit cemeteries.  I had rarely been in one until the last few months but i think both Lynne and I would agree that we find the cemmy a peaceful and calm place to go.

I can't get my head round your insurance company Lynne.  Like Esme says try threatening them with the FSA.  There is no excuse for the delay.  My insurance company paid out on the mortgage at the end of May before I went back to work.  If one can do it the rest can

I have my sister visiting me this weekend so that we can go shopping for outfits to wear to our other sister's wedding so I may not get on here as much over the weekend.  I will take my laptop to bed with me though and see if I can catch up from there.

Hope you got on okay at the haridressers Helen.  Thanks for the hugs Quill.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xx