My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi,

Thanks for the welcome and hopefully we will all bring support to each other. My husband was cremated as that was our wish. I was wondering what anyone has done to remember their loved one? My husbands nephew had a hole on a golf course (that my husband loved) changed to our name and that is where we will scatter the ashes when I am ready but I wanted to do something else but just don't know what. The golf course was his special place and it doesn't mean anything to me if you know what I mean? I didn't ever go with him as that was his hobby. I have ordered a nice necklace which I have had engraved on the back and I can put ashes inside but was wondering if anyone else had any nice ideas that they did?

Today is okay - my first day in the house on my own (my boys are at nursery). I picked them up yesterday for the first time as my family had been taking them but it was quite hard. I just ran in got them and back out. Today should be easier.

Hope you are all okay.

Gayle x

Hi Everyone,
Hope you are all ok well as best as we can be, just been reading all the post and it's so sad we are all having to go through this. But at least we have this great site to keep in touch. I have some great friends bit alas they are not in the same position as me and don't really know how i feel. Been a bit weepy today and found it hard to get through more letters came through post today so not a good start . Well better get off to bed and try and sleep.
Take Care
Fiona xxx

Hello everyone. I came home early from work today to let the gas man service the central heating. He has been and gone so I have a little time to myself now. My son has asked me to go to the pictures with him and his girldfriend tonight. I haven't been to the pictures for years. I have had 2 frozen shoulders in the past 5 years. They make sitting anywhere very uncomfortable unless there is a pillow to cuddle and then Chris's cancer meant he wasn't able to sit through a whole film without a break so we took to watching DVDs at home. I am looking forward to it. We are going to see Ice Age 3. I was very nervous about the central heating service as Chris always took care of that. He worked a late shift so he could be in for the engineer. It went fine so that is another thing under my belt.

I think I have friends like you Fiona. They are wonderful but they really don't know what I am going through so I change the subject if we have been talking about Chris for any length of time as I don't want to be responsible for the heavy topic. It is nice to talk to my son's girlfriend because she lost her Grandad at Christmas and she was very close to him. She likes to talk about him and so I don't feel bad about talking about Chris. She knew Chris very well as well.

I am very tired this week so I am getting to get my head down before I go to the pictures tonight. I'm not sure why I am so tired as I have slept quite well. I wake up feeling like I could carry on sleeping though so I wonder if it is the last 2 years and the last 2 months in particular that are catching up on me. I am going to try to get some early nights in the next week as I am not good at sleeping in.

Thank you for your message missing you. I hope that in time I can offer other people more support than I am doing just now. I am going to try but it was really nice to come on and see your message to us.

Gayle - you have made me think about whether there is anything more I can do in memory of Chris. I understand what you say about the golf course not really being a place you went to. Chris's sister had all her husbands ashes scattered on a golf course about 14 miles from where she lives and she regrets it a little now as she feels awkward going there most of the time. I might have a look around for inspiration but in the meantime if anyone has any ideas I would like to hear them. I am interested in things I can do to help me remember Chris as well as things I could do that might keep his memory going in the community or his workplace.

Right - I am going to go and take that nap or I will be knocking out Zs in the cinema! Have a good weekend everyone. Take care. Ailsa xx

Hi Everyone,
Hope you enjoy the pictures Alisa, long time since i have been to the cinema . Sorry to hear you have to sell your house Gayle where abouts in Scotland do you live? I am also from Scotland. Thanks for reminding me Alisa about central heating i must get mine checked before long something else to add to the list i also never saw to these things. Helen are you a teacher ? Thats what my daughter does she has started her holidays that's nearly her first week in. She is having her first baby in Nov but she is going back to work as she loves teaching. Kev i think Brad trying to get a extra weeks holidays. Well better get off to bed as working in the morning.
Good Night
Fiona x

Hi everyone. The film was really good. The 3D effects are not bad at all and I didn't fall asleep! I am doing a little shopping this afternoon and then going to see the mystery plays tonight - hope the weather holds out!

I am sorry to hear you have to sell the house Gayle. Good luck with it all though and I am glad there are people to help and support you. Like Helen I have been feeling very tired recently and wander if it is all catching up on me. You need to watch out for that and look after yourself. Take all the help that is offered. On the Scotland note, I am from Scotland as well. I think my name may be a giveaway there. I live in Yorkshire as that is where my husband is from.

I don't have the school holiday break to look forward to as such but I am spending 2 weeks of the holiday with my Grandson from the 23rd. I am looking after him for a week and a half and then having a couple of days away with him and my daughter. I am looking forward to the fortnight off work and having some fun with Declan. He's nearly 9 so we can do things together.

Kev I think it is good that Di's ashes are where she wanted them to be. I get a lot of comfort knowing that Chris is where he asked to be. I think Chris's sister has a problem with where she has put her husbands ashes because he didn't say what he wanted so she guessed and now she wishes she had done something different. I am glad that I am comfortable with where Chris is and I can tell you feel the same about Di. There are not many things make me smile right now but that is one of them.

I've been a bit sad this morning so I am going to rally and get out and about - see if I can brighten up. Take care everyone. Ailsa xx