My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi everyone, Gingerlil, I wish I could say something that would make the pain easier but I can't. For me the pain is as great now as it was when I lost my wife, and just over a year later I lost my poor mum. I get through the days one at a time and often ask myself "Di (my lovely wife) wouldn't want me to be like this would she" and sort of snap out of it, and then that moment goes. Sorry but I have been no use to you at all have I, just telling you how I sort of cope. All the best to you.

Kev xx

Hi Gingerlil and everyone xxx

I was hoping after a while it might get easier, it is 2 months since Paul passed away and you`re 6 months.It is definitely much harder than when I lost my mum and dad, obviously love and miss them but don`t remember it being like this.

Kev that song has lovely words xxx

Fiona my 2 have been more tearful after a few weeks had passed, think like you said they were looking after me, then it was my turn to look after them xx Then back to me again! Take it turns xxx

Off to make tea

Bye for now

Helen xxx

Hi,

I hope you don't mind me joining this thread. My darling husband passed away on Fathers day. He had been fighting this horrible disease for 4 years and it was very sudden at the end as we thought we still had a few months. He went in a matter of 36 hours. It has only been 2 weeks so at the moment I have every emotion going through me at the moment and miss him so very much. I can totally relate to what someone posted earlier that I don't feel lonely just incredibly lonely without him if you know what I mean. When I passed his clothes to the undertaker I put his mobile phone in his pocket and I call it to hear his voice. Sometimes you can just pretend that he is still here but he is too busy to take your call. He would laugh at that to be honest - we both had good sense of humours.

Anyway, take care and hugs to all those having difficult days today.

G xx

Hello everyone. What a mixed bag of feelings. Like Helen I have wandered when I will feel any better than I do now but everything I have read of the experience of others tells me I may never feel any better. I can only hope that I grow used to what I feel. Hi Gingerlil (does that make you a redhead like me?). I have the feelings of guilt and anger that you mention and also the sheer misery. That has happened more often recently and I assume it is because I busied myself so much at first with finances etc and now I have to search for things to do to fill my days and try to stop me thinking. I find it very difficult to think about the future and sometimes the future scares me. I hope you find that now you have come back onto this site you get some comfort from the people on here. I am not sure what I would do if this site wasn't here as this is the only place I really feel like anyone understands what any of us are going through or have been through for that matter.
Fiona I am so glad to read that your husband was able to be at the wedding of your daughter. Reading about it made me cry but the tears were because it must have been wonderful to watch them dance together. The new baby will be something to marvel over in November.
Kev - I listened to Robbie Robertson singing the song on youtube - it is a lovely song. As a singer, music was very important to Chris and he chose the music for his funeral himself. We listened to American Pie, Imagine and The Show Must Go On. We need some inscriptions for an ornament that will go on his grave and the kids have been chosing words from songs with a lot of meaning to them. Becky has chosen to have "a working class hero is something to be" because she sang that song by John Lennon for her music GCSE with her Dad playing guitar to accompany her. She passed!
Take care everyone. I get a huge lift each time I come on here and someone has posted and I hope it helps others as well. Sleep well. Ailsa xx

Hello G. It took me a while to finish writing my message and your post wasn't there when I started it. My heart goes out to you so soon after losing your husband. You are more than welcome to join us. I read your profile and you have had a long hard fight against this illness. You must be worn out especially as your children are so young. Take care of yourself and come and chat whenever you need some support. I love your idea about the mobile phone. I email Chris whenever I need to speak to him but I can only imagine his voice coming back at me. I also have a lot of text messages he sent over the past couple of years and when I read them I can hear his voice in my head. It is funny the thing that bring comfort! Take care and I hope we hear from you again. Ailsa x

Hi, evening everyone, that will be Ailsa, Fiona, Helen, sue, Tomtun, G, Gingerlil and anyone else I may have forgotten, one thing that helps me get by is my sense of humor,my madness and of course now this web site, in the short time that I've been rambling on here I have made some really nice friends who know what I'm on about, and the funny thing is I really believe I know you all, so thanks everyone for being there. Do you know what it's a bit like being in the Waltons, where if a stranger ever went to Walton Mountain everyone there welcomed them and didn't judge them at all, well thats how everyone makes me feel. So in true Walton fashion, good night Ailsa, good night Fiona, good night Helen, good night Sue, good night Tomtun, good night G, good night Gingerlil, good night anyone else I may of forgotten and of course good night Johnboy.

Kev xx

der kev,
ever wondered what the 'w' stands for at the end of my user name????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sue x

Sue, that would be Walton then eh!!

Kev xx

Sue, as I said on another post I'm gonna have to watch you haven't I, sorry you're off side!!

Kev xx