My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa
helen - told you we could do it!! Mind you, I have been out and bought myself a rechargeable screwdriver with my birthday money from my mum!! The palm of my hand has a huge blister on it (well,quite a big one, anyway) and I can't get any sympathy anywhere...........
I'm going to decorate the downstairs cloakroom next - last time I did it was far too many years ago and it's looking really tired; a bit like me,actually! Past its best....
Well done for putting the blind up; haven't tried that one yet.
sue x
